Guide to becoming a Maverick (Part I)

So, you have decided to become a maverick. What's next? Do you just declare yourself a maverick in the middle of the street and be done with it? What does it take to be a true Maverick?

To be a maverick you need Confidence. You need to feel confident that when you say something you are saying something that you believe with a certainty to be true. Lack of confidence in yourself, and in your opinions, leads to doubt. If you are confident in yourself and in your views, the objections of others will never lead you to doubt the certainty of what you believe to be true.

They once asked a famous Rav, I forget his name, how we can be Jewish if most of the world doesn't believe as we do. After all, there is a concept in the Gamarah that the Halacha follows the majority, and in this case the majority of the world is against us. The Rav answered that the only case where the Halacha follows the majority is where there is an uncertainty inherent in the situation. However, in a case where there is no uncertainty, we don't subscribe to the concept of always following the majority.

It doesn't matter how many people think you are crazy. So long as you are certain in the rightness of your view, you can still be right. Since it is impossible to be certain without a sense of confidence that you can formulate your own views, the first step to becoming a maverick is confidence.

For a person to have confidence they need two things, Knowledge and a healthy dose of Chutzpah (effrontery). The possession of knowledge alone doesn't give a person confidence, nor does it make him a maverick. The possession of lots of un-actualized knowledge makes for a good librarian, but not much else. The Chutzpah by itself is not much better, the person can see himself as right from today until tomorrow, and be nothing more than a contrarian in possession of views just because they are the opposite of everybody else's views.

The old joke goes that a fellow was driving down the highway when he receives a call from his wife. "Yankel, be careful. I just heard on the news that there is a crazy fellow driving the wrong way down the turnpike." Yankel then replied, "One car? There are hundreds of cars going the wrong way."

Yankle was the fool who was all chutzpah and no knowledge. He did his own thing, and caused a 2o car pileup. The confidence that he had was shattered by it's exposure to the real world of the other drivers on the road. If Yankel's intent by driving the wrong way was to be a maverick, he failed miserably. True confidence is like the use of a GPS, it's knowledge plus your own confidence gets you to your destination. One without the other can lead you to go in circles the whole day.

What kind of knowledge constitutes real knowledge when it comes to building confidence, and through that a maverick?

Knowledge in the sense of confidence in forming one's own opinion on a subject, and thus becoming a maverick, means knowledge of the thinkers that have come before you, objective knowledge of the situation you are forming your own opinion about, and logical reasoning built upon a framework of reality. By possession these three attributes, you go from being a crazy person, with ideas that can be ignored, to a person with crazy ideas who must be reckoned with.

Be the Maverick

There is a war going on. It is going on in the hearts and minds of people everywhere. Part of it is a battle between the inclination to do what they were trained to do, ie good, and the inclination to go against their training, ie bad. There is also another battle going on as well; only a few people fight this fight. It is a battle of ideas, a battle to define what is good and what is bad.

When people are becoming the people that they will be for the rest of their lives they have two options open to them. They can follow the training that they were given as a young person, and go with the flow, unquestioning, following what they have been told is right or wrong. They will be firm in what they believe in, and nothing will shake their resolve when it comes to doing something they believe to be right and true. The other option is to think and evaluate everything, not accept something just because it was something you were taught as a young person. When it comes to any idea, you think to yourself about its validity, and/or lack there of. You consider the implications to yourself and to others in following what you were taught to be right. You make everything pass through your own filter of your mind.

The first option is the way of the follower. The second is the way of the maverick. The follower will forever be following the opinions of the mavericks of the last generations. The follower will be playing it safe. Most people are followers, they go with the flow of life and read the books already written for the last word on everything. It is the select few in this world who strike out on their own and build the future that the next generation relies upon to live their life. It is the lone mavericks in the world who build the truth for the next generation of followers.

The life of a maverick may be a hard one. You may not always be popular and liked. Not all mavericks succeed in their quest in shaping the next line of thinkers, not all mavericks want to have everyone in the world thinking as they do. At the end of the day a maverick can sit down confident in the knowledge that he is a person like no other, not just a cog in the machine, or a zombie marching to the beat of the masses, but a thinking person, all of his own.

A follower may live a happy life. He may gain acceptance with his community. He may even feel somewhat contented with his situation. However, there will always be something missing. He will always be answering to someone else, always looking for approval from someone else, always wondering if he is doing the right thing. The end of the follower is complete submission to ideas that are not your own, undying loyalty to thoughts which you would never have come up with in a million years. Your happiness will always be dependent on other's approval.

Understandably not everyone can be a maverick, in a world of mavericks there is no organisation, there is chaos. But that doesn't mean that everyone has to be the followers. YOU can be the maverick, you can be the free thinker. YOU can create the ideas that the people of next generation will follow as law.

Constructive criticism, and the acceptance of Community

As a rule, I am not a fan of criticism. I hate the idea that someone out there doesn't like me for who I am and what I do. I have this idea in my head that if I am doing something it is probably the right thing to be doing. Rebuke, Remorse, and any sort of criticism never usually make it into the recesses of my brain in any form but spite. I will probably hate you for your frankness, and your openness when it comes to where I need improvement. "You can take your Mussar, and shove it somewhere."

The problem with this way of thinking, and I have realized that this way of thinking can have many problems, is that the road to personal growth is one very slow road. Without people around telling me where they think I need improvement it is up to me on my own to discover my own flaws in character and fix them on my own. Also the problem of alienation between myself and others can pose a hindrance to getting things done.

What you may find funny, or not so funny depending on how much you enjoy laughing at hypocrisy, is the fact that I am very quick to state my mind when it comes to others need for improvement. My filter is like cheese cloth, the insults are like water, they just flow right through. I suppose like everyone else in this world, I realize that it is easier to find the faults in others before I finding the faults in ourselves.

There is an inherent conflict raging within me, acceptance of self vs. the negation of self. It is the same conflict that rages within all of us. How much do we want to listen to the people around us? How much do we want to allow the opinions of others affect how we all live our lives? Many would say that it is not an all or nothing question, you can have both, an acceptance of self as the last say, as well as the negation of self as part of a community of people. I disagree, it is not a false dichotomy. You must either accept the Yoke of your neighbors scorn or applause, or you can be the lone wolf who redefines for yourself what you want to think and do. I am not a fan of the Yoke. I don't want to bend or break.

When it comes to other people however, I am not so certain. There are two ways to get things done when it comes to people, an appeal to ego, or an appeal to altruism. An appeal to ego would be asking everything in return for something you want another person to do, ie. money or favors ect. An appeal to altruism would be asking someone to do something for you for the sole purpose of the happiness gleaned from doing the actual good deed. The only way altruism can take place is in a framework of negation of self. The only reason a person would gain intrinsic pleasure out of doing a good deed for another person is because on some level that person believes they are really doing themselves a favor. The only way this will work is in a community where everyone negates themselves in the service of what the other members as a whole consider important. If everyone thought as I do, and embraced the acceptance of self over the negation of self to the community, altruism would stop taking place.

In this day and age that is exactly what is taking place. People no longer do others favors, because they don't believe that the other person will give up their sense of self in the service of the community's value judgments. Everything is Ego, everything is exchange. Is this outcome that I help perpetuate with my behavior directly causing less altruism to take place in society? If so, what are the consequences of this?

I definitely realize that I get less people giving me favors than other people who do pay attention to so called constructive criticism. Because I don't take what people say seriously, less people take what I say seriously than if I would care what they have to say. I also notice a disconnect between myself and others, more so than I would have if I were more conscientious and excepting of criticism. I suppose this is the price I pay for my independence of thought. Is there any way to get around paying the price? Can there be noncritical community acceptance, or is such an idea and oxymoron and and impossibility?

EMES: Honest is the best policy

Truth is the framework that makes up a working society. Without Truth everyone will suspect their neighbor of Evil and Falsehood. No trust will exist between anyone at all. In order for anything productive to ever happen there will need to be large amounts of wasteful redundant oversight just to make sure what needs to be done takes place. I would like to believe that such Truth exists in our society today. I pray that people always make the honest decision. At the same time I am deeply saddened when I hear that there are in fact people that live Falsehoods.

I understand it if a person is backed into a corner with the choice of a huge monitary loss or a lie, and that person chooses to lie. It is human nature to be pragmatic when it comes to things beyond a person's control. What I don't understand is a person who will lie when they could so easily make the other choice, with only a little effort on their part being the consequense.

For example, if a person is given some school homework to do and subseuqntly forgets to do it. I can understand why the person whould lie when it comes to the teacher asking where the homework went. Given two possiblities, an F on the course or a chance to redo the homework with a lie, I understand why a person might choose the lie. However, if a person is given homework and thier parents ask them if they have done it or not, or a person is given an assignment for work to do in the next few days and the boss askes if it is finished, I don't understand why a person whould lie if the homework or work assignment is not actually done. Just a little work on the person's part would make the untruth of the statment go away. Why would a person lie if the power to change the situation is in the person's own hands, and the only thing preventing whatever it is from getting done is the person's own laziness. I understand you can't change what happend, but you can change what will happen.

Why is honesty the BEST policy?

So that you don't have to keep track of all the lies that you told.

Bedtime Stories

Of all the stories told at bedtime

Once upon a time

I love the most

It evokes a sense of wonder

A sense of beyond

A long time ago

A feeling of things never experienced in years

Even the wildest imaginations could not fathom

What did go on in those bygone eras

Far far away

In a place that you or I will never visit in our lifetimes

With people that speak languages so unlike our own

With food so exotic that you could never imagine eating such things yourself

A distance of thousands and thousands of miles.

Then the story begins

A tale of suspense, romance, tragedy,

Peter Pan, Cinderella, Rock a-by Baby

A lesson to be learned

Then sleep

Sweet dreams.

Communist or Chassid?

There are four types of people: One who says, "What is mine is yours, and what is yours is mine" is a boor. One who says "What is mine is mine, and what is yours is yours" -- this is a median characteristic; others say that this is the character of Sodom. One who says, "What is mine is yours, and what is yours is yours" is a chassid (pious person). And one who says "What is mine is mine, and what is yours is mine" is wicked. (Avot, 5:10)

The real question is whether this maxim, applied by every individual, would lead directly to some sort of communism. The Baal Ha-Sulam (1885—1954), a Kabbalist commantator on the Zohar, says that this is exactly what the Mishna in Avos is trying to impart:

Communism must be turned away from the concept, “What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours”, which is sodomite rule, to the concept, “What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is yours”, meaning absolute altruism. When the majority of the public accepts this rule de facto, it will be time to “work according to the ability and receive according to the need.” the sign would be that every one would work like a contract-worker.(Building the Future Society 3:5)

According to some, this idea will manifest itself in voluntarily communism, or Anarchist communism.

Do you think this is what the Mishna in Avos hopes to teach us?

No More Barbers!

I like saving money. I also like spending money. I spend money on food, clothing, and meteorites. I even spend money on things I don't need, like presents for others every once in a while. One thing I can't stand spending money on is haircuts. I hate spending money to get my haircut by a barber. God understood this about me and decided to make me quasi-bald. Every once in a while though, my hair grows long enough that to not take a haircut would leave me with a scruffy hobo look.

For the past month and change, Jews all over the world have refrained from cutting their hair. Being a Jew, I too have refrained from cutting my hair. (Though I did take on the wonderful heter of R' Yoshe Ber to allow me to shave, I still did not take a haircut.) At this point though it seems that a haircut is something I have got to go get real soon. The hair on the back of my head is starting to connect to the side of my head, making me look like a half shaven monkey, a shaved chin with hair growing in.

Even with this pressing need for a trim, I still have reservations about going to the barber. How can I go spend money on something that will just grow back tomorrow? It would be like paying for an electronic device that I knew would break down, and not buy a warranty. I would have to be crazy to do such a thing. Yet that is exactly what I do every time my hair grows too long. That is the same thing that people all around the world do every time their hair grows beyond 'regulation length'.

A few months ago I decided to get around this horrible problem of spending money on broken unwarrantied headphones. I got my own haircutting machine, and I gave myself a haircut. It didn't work out very well. I couldn't do the back of my head very well, and I had to bug my brother to finish the job for me. He did his best, but not as good as a barber could have done. But it only cost me the promise of favors that I might never have to return and not any case, It was free.

Now though I think I have learned my lesson, "Mom, can you give me a haircut?"

"It takes all kinds".

Prepare for some nonsensical ramblings of a tired person.

They say, "It takes all kinds," but what kinds are they really talking about? Are they talking about the criminal elements that keep life interesting? Are they talking about the boring people that put you to sleep? Are they talking about those strange people that you give the raised eyebrow look to on the subway? Who are they talking about when they say that?

My two second analysis has determined that what they are talking about when they say the expression, "It takes all kinds" is the type of person that we could all really live without. It is talking about the type of person that most people would not like to have around, the type of person that just acts in a plain old useless fashion.

Understandably I am resorting to generalities. But if I would talk about specific people in my own life I would probably be proving the people with the long beards right when they talk about the blogs being the source of slander and evil. Instead of talking about individual people, I will talk about generalities, and if you know anyone like this you can just laugh the next time that you see them.

"It takes all kinds"

1. Those Illogical People- You know the type, those people that resort to grand generalities.
   

On a leash

There I was walking down the street, when all of the sudden a dog is walking right next to me. Mind you, I was not the one 'walking the dog', I was a plain old pedestrian walking down the street. I looked down and I noticed that the little dog had on one of those extended leashes that gives the dog the illusion of freedom while still being in a state of captivity. I looked back and there was the owner holding the leash. She apologized profusely for the fact that the dog had walked in front of me and blocked my path, and I gave the traditional 'no problem' and continued on my walk.

As I walked on, it hit me.

Are we any different from the dog on the leash? Do we just imagine our freedom of action, while in reality we are on a very long leash? Perhaps God just gives us the illusion of free will, but in reality we are not free at all?

Then I asked myself the obvious question. Does it really matter? The only time the dog feels the leash is when it is stopped by the person walking the dog. Until the human at the other end of the leash puts a stop to the dog's forward momentum, the dog feels free. It is only after the dog is stopped that it feels in captivity. While the truth is that the dog is a captive the whole time, the only time that it actually matters is when the master takes definitive action. It is the smart dog that realizes it has a master, and stays within the boundaries given to it. Otherwise, it will constantly be feeling the master pulling at the leash.

For us humans, free will can be seen as the same thing. So long as we don't pull the leash to it's extreme, God will allow us the freedom to act. But once we reach that point at which we step to far, all our freedom will be taken away from us.

Where is my proof that we are all on an extensible leash? How do I know we can not all do what ever it is we want without fear of consequences?

I suppose you could try to live on the edge, go to the limit of what you can do, try to open all doors. Even then you might never know if you have reached the end of your leash. Does that mean it isn't there at all?

I suppose it all depends on the philosophy you use to live your life.

Dreaming of Perfect Correlation

Life would be so easy.
Belief would be so simple.
Who could ever doubt?

But life's not two dimensional,
One cause, one effect.
Million causes, Billion effects
from everything we all do.

Who can see the big picture?
Know exactly what to do.

So we go about life,
taking a guess
we see all that is there.

In reality
what do we see?
Two dimensionality.

Mother's Day (and Father's Day): A Halachic Responsa

In accordance with the majority of poskim, the Halacha of Kibbud Av VaEim has been relegated to a Mitzvas Asey SeZman Grama, or a positive commandment that is dictated by time. One day a year has been given to Fathers, and another day of the year has been given to Mothers. Since it is now a mitzvah that is bound by time, women are now exempt from preforming this mitzvah even before they get married and have a husband to take care of. All other performance of the Mitzvah of Kibud has been made volentary and Lifnim Mishuras HaDin, beyond the letter of the law.

This new Psak Din is not something that was decided solely based on Hallmark's donation to the Moetzes Gidoley HaTorah. There is Halachic precedent for this ruling. The juxtaposition of the commandment to honor one's parents and the commandment to Keep the Shabbos is reason enough to conclude that Honoring one's parents is something that only has to be done one day per parent.

An older reading of the juxtaposition used to be used to frobid parents from forcing thier children to desicrate the Shabbos. However, with the advent of the solar calander, Father's Day and Mother's day can never come out on Shabbos anyway. Since listening to parents on any other day besides for thier designated day is going beyond the letter of the law, it is obvious that such piety can not override the plain reading of the Pesukim.

In honor of Mother's Day, and to a lesser extent Father's Day, the Halacha is that one must purchase a Hallmark card worth at least 5 dollars. ( In Israel it can be purchased in Shekelim, however the card must include some cash if the child is being cheap.) Obviously the question of whether or not the money comes from the child or from the parent is moot. The child must spend his own hard earned money on the card. Also, many poskim hold that the child should get flowers or some other expensive expression of gratitude for this holy day.

For many years the Mitzvah of Kibbud Av VaEim has been trampled on and disrespected. Children have been sending thier old parents to nursing homes where they can die faster. Children have been sitting in thier parent's respecive chairs. They have been eating thier parent's food. Children have also been interrupting, controdicting, and being overall disrespectful to the people that brought them into this world. It is for this reason that the rabbonim decided to set aside one day a year where the child would give the parent the real respect that the parent deserves, a Hallmark Card with something cheesy written inside.

Many Jews have been obstinate when it comes to observing these holidays in honor of their parents. "Why should we celebrate Mother's Day, we have 365 other days not to respect our mother's wishes?" They point at the fact that the original idea for the holiday was not Jewish, but a company out to make a few bucks. In response to this accusation the Moeztes put out a quick response, "The idea of $100 lemons worked out fine, and that only supports a few farmers. After a few years of price gouging people were fine with it. The Hamoyn Am will get used to the idea of spending a few bucks on some over priced piece of paper soon enough."

Is it such a bad thing to be a Kofer?

Heresy.

It's the bad boy that has to stand in the corner while all the rest of the kids get chocolate chip cookies.

That is exactly what it is, Shaming.

Apikores. Kofer. Shotah. Am Ha'Aretz. Shaygetz. Putz. Shlumazel...... The list just keeps on going.

All these wonderful labels to make someone feel bad about who they happen to be, what they happen to be doing, or the views they happen to be holding. They are nothing more than shaming mechanisms used to enforce conformity.

We all grow up in a society that has certain beliefs and traditions that are held to be sacred. If you are a Frum Jew, you don't talk at certain points in Davening. If you are a secular Jew, you turn off your cell phone before the movie starts. There are certain things that the other people in the room will just not tolerate. "Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...... Shut Up........Turn off your cell phone...."

When someone breaks anyone of the traditions that the group holds dear, a public shaming is in order.

Ideas are the building blocks of a group. It forms the basis of common thought, and decision making. Without a common set of beliefs binding a group together, the group shatters and scatters.

If someone admits to holding an Idea in their head that the group does not feel is normative, they are given the only punishment that a society with out a death penalty can give, public humiliation, name calling, shaming.

The problem is that if enough people disagree a new group is formed that holds no allegiance to the original group. So it has been with every schism that has existed in every religion on the planet. So it will continue to be.

It is at this point that I mention Lubavitch, Orthopraxy, Open Orthodoxy, and any other brand of not so mainstream orthodoxy that people are proponents of.

You have to consider that if they are a big enough group in of themselves they would not care whether their coreligionists think they are Kofrim or not. You have got to think that they are secure enough in their own beliefs to look the other way when called silly names by others that don't think as they do.

The only real thing to consider is the mainstream view of people that are not mainstream. Do you accept the fact that others don't think the same way you do? Do you rant and rave at the fact that some of your cousins don't wear the same type of intellectual shirt that you do? Do you never speak to them again? Or do you insist on keeping the name calling going in the hopes that one day you will actually change their views?

Many would answer this question with, "It is a simple matter of Halacha. Find out what the Halacha is and then do whatever that happens to be." The problem is that with such a question in these circumstances you are left with ambiguity. Different groups subscribe to different Halachic authorities. Therefore, different groups will answer this question differently. And we are now back to square one.

The real answer to the question, in my view, is that when it comes to other people's views and their likelihood of making it to Heaven we should be mindful of the fact that although we would all like if others would think exactly like we do, it is not a real possibility. I don't think there is anyone in the world that thinks exactly as I do. While it is possible to influence the ways that others think, to control the thoughts of others fully is an impossibility.

The Obsevant Jewish community is small enough without us letting the little differences that might divide us tear us apart. We must embrace what makes us common and not what makes us different. What we all have in common is a commitment to observing the 613 mitzvos in the Torah to the best of our ability and knowledge. While some of us may wear different clothing, have strange ideas, and eat different food, we are all in agreement that when Shabbos comes it is a day of rest; when we eat, the food is Kosher; and when we drink, we say L'Chaim. Instead of pointing out the differences in Ideas and shaming people for them, focus on everything we have in common, focus on 613.

So you do/don't believe that the Lubavitcher Rebbe was/is/will be the Moshiach?
So you may or may not believe in all the Rambam's Ikkrim?
So you may want to allow a woman to be a pulpit Rabbi?
So you may/may not believe in Evolution?

Is it really such a bad thing? I may think so from the bottom of my heart. You may all have lost your portion in the world to come. You may rot in hell for all eternity. But I live in the here and now, and here and now we are all still Yidden. Bound by a commitment that goes deeper than individual ideas, bound by blood, bound by the mitzvos we all do.

The only problem is if you yourself view your own views as Heretical. Then you are in for some serious head banging. Good luck with that cognitive dissonance, existential crisis, and overall mental deterioration.

My Perfect World

My rules are simple
so easy to live by
live and let live
try not to tell a lie

Pass a stranger on the street
nod a little hello
recognize that others too exist
you are not alone

No war
No peace
just in between
A give and take for everything
courteous, loving.

But if you decide to break the rules
All bets are off
Off with your head
throat full of hot lead
And don't ask me for a favor.

You get what you pray for

Everyone says, "You get what you pay for."

I say, "You get what you pray for."

You only pray for things you want the most,
The things you really can't live without.
The little things, you take for granted
Or you don't really need them at all.

Prayer is a focuser
and a prioritizer
You don't pray for a glass of water
You have that 8 times a day.
You do pray for a Parnassa
A Shudduch, and timely bus service.

The things you really care about are the things you really pray for
The things you really care about are the things you really pay for

Though you and I know
Everything comes from God
It's the things you don't have
the things you want most
When it comes right down to it
are the things you are praying for.

Kiddush, L'Chaim, Havdalah on the wall; What very useful Alcohol

Some people are against drinking. You see them on the streets giving the partiers the evil eye. They are angry that people are having fun, and they wish everyone would be as miserable as they are. They preach a deeper meaning to life, but the only deep meaning they really want you to have is misery. Commonly, these people are called 'Buzz Killers', because they kill the good feeling that everyone else is having.

Some people are pro-drinking. All these people do is drink alcoholic beverages from morning till the next morning. They sit at the pubs and on the street corners and collect money for their next drink. They wander from train car to bus stop in the hope of picking up the change left by the passerby, and if they can get a few dollars out of people's pockets, the more the merrier. They don't preach as much as they mumble to themselves in the hopes that someone will hear them and think that they are wearing a homeless version of the Blue tooth. On the street these people are known as drunken slobs, and bums.

There are people who don't fit into the above two categories. They are not 'Buzz Killers', nor are they drunken bums. These are people who range from the quiet teetotaler to the heavy social drinker/drunk most of time. Thank God most of the world fits into this big middle category. A world full of drunks and buzz killers would just be a horrible place to live. Imagine the war that would take place between the drunks and the anti-drunks every time the drunk wanted to get a drink. Imagine the war that would ensue every time the anti-drunk would pass a law preventing the drunk from getting a drink. You don't have to have such a big imagination, it happening in the United States a few years ago when The Prohibition was put into place.

In Jewish circles I think you will find that the two extremes expressed don't really represent the extremes in the community. Most people make Kiddush on wine, have a beer at the occasional Shalom Zachor, and make a L'Chaim at a friend's Simcha. You will be hard pressed to find people who do not drink any alcohol at all, though you may find the occasional person who only uses grape juice for Kiddush, Havdalah, and Pesach. You might also find the occasional heavy drinker too, a type of person that doesn't leave the house without a few shots to kill the frogs in his belly. The majority of the Jewish community fall somewhat in the middle when it comes to alcohol consumption, not too drunk all the time, but also not militantly against drinking either. For the most part people in the Jewish community take the 'everything in moderation' point of view. The only question is, what truly is moderation?

Shabbaton 2009

A few weeks back the Yeshiva that I have been going to for the past 5 years had a Shabbaton in the Catskill Mountains. Unlike last year, when I almost drowned, this year the weekend was pretty uneventful. It was a Shabbos with friends in the mountains, though like every event that takes place there is usually something to talk about afterward. As I said to my friend on the drive home, "That was fun, Right?"

Friday began uneventfully at 11:03
Shower, Shave, Dress and Daven
Pack some cloths, get some directions.

OMG GPS is Broken.

Thank God, still got EZPASS
All's not lost,
I'll buy a new one real fast.

Called up a few friends
"Do you got a ride?"

"Sure, Sure, Thanks Anyway"
"O thanks, just what I needed"

Got in the car picked up my friend
Drove to J, The Buzz, The Liquor Store
Seemed like somewhere around 12:10

New GPS, Two bottles of booze,
snacks for the road
Shabbos was all set.

Picked up my other friend
that makes us three
I'll skip the rhyme for this one
Maybe for the next one two
I turned on the Radio
z100, PLJ, 1010wins
Tifilas Haderech

The drive went smoothly
We discuss Philosophy
How my friend didn't put on Teffilin
What was Right and Wrong
The GPS was just so cool
Did I mention it was a Garmin?
No, it didn't cost a song

Followed the Directions
Going the wrong way
Though finally we get there
Look there: Cows and Hay

Played a game of Bowling
Took another shower
threw on some Shabbos cloths
still have another hour

Turned on the TV
Nothing better to do
This must be why God invented
a Friday afternoon

O look it's time to Daven
It's finally that time of day
It's all cool
people shoozing
Very slow Licha Dodi,
It's the end of a Friday

For all of you that don't know what a Shabbaton is all about I have one word for you
One word that says it all, one word, one Chew

Food

Food

Food

and more Food.

I ate so much that when I got on the scale at home, after the whole thing, I think I weighed an extra 5 pounds over my usual hefty weight. It was glorious.

I suppose the Shabbaton could have been about deeper concepts.

Achdus, maybe? But Achdus is all about getting to know everyone else better, and what better way to do that than around the table eating and drinking.

There was great Shabbos meals. The food was decent and the booze I brought along made everything go over very well. I gave out some, I drank more. Late Harvest Baron Hezog is a very good wine. It cost me $20 a bottle, but it was worth it. Gray Goose Vodka is very nice too, I had that for Shabbos Lunch, and after a few shots life was looking very good.

Amazingly, when I have a few drinks in me I am very helpful. I got up to help serve some of the food a few times on my wobbly feet. I guess deep down, in the core of my being, I want to be a helpful person. Booze just brings out the best in me.

After the meal everyone went back to thier rooms for some good old fasioned Shabbos Naps, or at least that is what I did. I found out later that one of the guys, not the frumest fellow, went and asked one of the ladies working for the hotel to turn the TV on for him and a few others. Bunch of Mishegoyim. I suppose he must have said, "You know, the TV is off in my room. and I would love if you would come over for a few minutes."

Then Was Mincha.

And Shalosh Seudos.

I didn't have any more booze left, so I didn't end up helping out that much. I went back to the room to wait for Marriv and Havdalla while the Rabbi spoke a nice long speech. ( I don't like speeches.)

Shabbos Ends.

I play a few games of Ping Pong with my Chavrusa.
We don't keep score.
We both stink at Ping Pong.

Channel surfing on the TV.
I hate commercials.
They are the worst things God forgot to invent.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Sleep.

Up bright and early. Dressed and ready.
I forgot my Teffilin at home.
Can I borrow your Teffilin?
Sefard?
I use Ashkenaz.
Ashkenaz?
Ya.
Thanks.

Daven.

Eat a little.

Wander around, looking for something to do, hope the people I came with want to leave early.

Leave.

I like my GPS.

Make a stop in Monsey and have lunch at the Monsey BBQ, Shwarma and Yemanite soup.

Home Sweet Home, after a few more hours in the car. (traffic)

"That was fun, Right?"