The proper time to Pray

There is a big argument among the great deciders regarding what is the proper time to pray to God in the morning. The argument began sometime in the last century when Jews became acquainted with the light bulb and began staying up later than sundown. With people getting to sleep later and later, and with the human body’s need for sleep remaining pretty much the same, a new dynamic has been introduced in the argument on the proper time to pray. No longer is the argument dominated by textual analysis, call to piety, or admonishment against levity. Now there are much more important concerns.

The working people, who have to be at work extremely early in the morning, say that a person can pray the morning prayers while the sun is barely peaking over the horizon. They reason that the work they have to do is so important that they have to give God his due as soon as possible so as not to forget about God altogether. While God is the ultimate provider in the long run, a person has to do their due diligence in the short run and forget about where it is all really coming from.

The druggies and lazy people pray at four in the afternoon. They have just gotten up from the long night of partying; and even though it is time for the afternoon prayer, the world runs on their schedule. So if they happen to pray at all, they will pray when the damn well please, and not a moment before. Sometimes they even pray 3 prayers at once, and an extra one thrown in for their friends who are still sleeping the day away.

The Yeshiva Buchurim are a weird breed when it comes to the morning prayers. During the school year, when their Rebbeim are on their backs to wake up on time and get to the Yeshiva mandated Shachris Minyan, they get up on time a few minutes before Shachris is about to begin. Heaven help them if they come too late or they will end up having to pay a fine to the school for their tardiness. During vacation time, however, things are totally different. Some Yeshiva Buchurim cant break the conditioning and still manage to get to a local Minyan at a “reasonable time.” For the most part though, you will find Yeshiva Buchurim all across the country praying anytime before midday. It is vacation, and what’s a vacation if not waking up a little late. Though not too late, after all, they are not druggies and true lazy people, Yet.

There are of course many more views, however, for the sake of brevity, like the good old fast Davening, I'm going to end it here.

Re-Elect The God of The Universe

Election season is almost upon us and it is that time of year when we all must decide who we are going to choose to be our God for the next eternity. People will go to the polls with their life in their hands; at stake is, at the very least, the universe as we know it. When it comes to politics people always have a short memory. The question for this election is what has God done for the people lately?

The task of “God’s canvassers” or spiritual leaders is to remind the people of all the good that God has done for the people in the past few thousand years. They will remind the people of all the benefits humanity has gotten out of there being a God, existence itself. They will exhort the people to vote in the Godly election by choosing to keep God in their lives.

The task of the atheistic canvassers will be quite the opposite. They will point out all the pain and suffering that has taken place in the world in the past few thousand years, how many people were killed as God actively let the laws of nature he put in place stay in affect throughout all of it. They will show how many of humanity’s conflicts were caused by difference conceptions of which political party God really belongs to. They will even show people how they are all so much better off by not being born at all.

Both groups of canvassers will plead with the ignorant masses to listen to what they have to say. The masses who have chosen God will call upon him though they know that the laws of nature will run their course. Just knowing that God is listening to what they have to say is good enough for them. The masses who have chosen to vote God out of office will demand that there complaints be taken seriously in the Godly court, after all they didn’t even ask to be created in the first place. When they hear no answer in the form of what they want they will take this as further proof of the need to vote out God.

Every year a budget must get passed for the next year. God sits with his heavenly advisers on the first of the year to decide what is to be done with the universe. Ten days after the budget is passed, people still in the dark as to how the programs they care about the most fared, and they are already complaining for a reevaluation of the budget. Maybe there should have been more welfare for the poor, maybe a little more health for the sick, maybe less storms this season, every special interest group lobbying for their own cause, nobody really happy with what happens. The spiritual leaders urge the people to pray and hope that everything works out well. Do what you have to do, and everything will turn out all right on some level. The atheists urge people to ignore what is going on and focus instead on complaining to each other to no avail. Yet, in the end the budget is always fair, always just, and the only way it could ever have been.

When the Torah was given every nation in the world was give the opportunity to accept it. They all declined, they didn’t like what the budget offered them. They instead opted for nonexistence. They chose no law at all instead of one that they saw as subpar. The Jews were the only ones that decided to chose God’s Budget for the world without question, they became the chosen people. The rest of the world had to wait a few thousand years and even then they were left wandering the desert of social contract theory to get by in the civilized world. While literal pork was forbidden as part of the budget, the metaphorical pork of thousands of years of smart people remains the Jew’s legacy.

In every generation the people of the world and God’s Chosen Nation have to decide if they would like to reaffirm their commitment to reelecting God for another term. Will they continue to live within the balanced budget provided by the Torah? Will the people of the world continue to live by the 7 laws they were given? If they choose to continue following the budget the world will continue to run smoothly, otherwise the world will end in a budgetary crisis much worse than anything experienced by California. The spiritual advisers of the world go around telling people to live up to the expectations of the budget, don’t borrow too much on your future’s capital, don’t destroy what you have, and most importantly learn what you can afford and what you can’t. The hard atheists pressure people to forget that the budget exists. Instead of focusing on the living within humanity’s means, they tell people to ignore the budget all together. Instead of making the real budget the core of humanity’s budget they advise people to create a better, untested, unbalanced budget.

The problem is that at the essence of the Torah, our blueprint for a functioning society, the Budget, is a conservative core. There is a very strict code of law, follow it and there is a guarantee of prosperity, ignore it at your own peril. There are whole portions of the Torah that warn the people of the consequences of deviating from the proper path. The natural order of how things are in the world is dependent on the people keeping to the law, and living within the balanced budget. Listening to the atheists, and creating our own new laws, we are told, leads to disasters consequences. Basically, re-elect God or die for not doing so. God does hold all the cards; he made the earth and with one word can unwish its entire existence.

There is only one God, there is no other. It is not MY God, it is not YOUR God, it is the God in each and every one of our hearts and souls. You can vote for God, or not vote for God. Those are your choices. A vote for God is a vote for purpose, a vote not for God is a vote for randomness. Purpose demands appreciation and adherence to that purpose. Randomness requires nothing more than sitting on the chopping block. A vote for God is a vote for responsibility and possible death. A vote not for God is a vote for certain death in every moment of life.

Live every moment with no value at all and choose atheism. Live every moment with intrinsic value and choose God.

Dostoevsky and Global Warming

If you were to destroy the belief in immortality in mankind, not only love but every living force on which the continuation of all life in the world depended, would dry up at once.
Fyodor Dostoevsky

Perhaps this explains why people want to fight global warming so much. It is perhaps the closest thing to threaten humanity's immortality. Similar to what referring to in this post.

The Riots May Halt!

BY Samuel...

Of course I am discussing the rioting of my fellow bloggers due to my absence. What? You thought I was referring to what's going on in Iran? Please.

Well I had an overall uninteresting hiatus and a massive case of uninspired writers block. For those who don't remember me, I am the nut who posted random stuff on politics, cars and aliens.

Aaaanyways, I noticed a sudden surge in children hanging around in the streets. This may be due to one of two reasons:

1. It's summer time and parents cannot afford camp in this tough economy.
2. Michael Jackson is dead and kids don't fear the streets like they used to.

Ok, number 2 was uncalled for. But hey, what's life without a joke that dances on the "line".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In other news...

The automotive world is in shambles thanks to the US government... : ( So I am thinking Ford or foreign.

Can you imagine government built cars? Can you? Think, this has happened before folks! It's called British Leyland and all the cars epically sucked.

The age of the econobox is upon us.

So many books And I drive the wrong way up a one way

Today after work I went to the local Barnes and Nobles in Park Slope Brooklyn to browse all the books they had available. There are tons of books for every subject imaginable, and I want to read them all.

Well, almost all of them. There are a few books I would rather not read.

If you have been reading this blog for a while you will probably know that I am into philosophy. I like thinking about social issues and how Judaism/Religion in general fits in with those social issues. What I realized when I went to the book store is how much knowledge there is that I don't know, have not read, but want to read. But then there is the money, book cost a fortune, not to mention the space to put them once they are bought. How do you balance the thirst for knowledge and a budget? The Library? But then you don't own the books, do you?

So much has already been thought about in the past. Years and years of philosophers have pondered every question imaginable, from why are we here, to what should we do. It is possible to come up with an original thought, but the only way to know if it is truly original is to read lots of other works to make sure you are not duplicating something already written.

And so...

I have started a reading project. Read books written by the thinkers of the present and the past. See what they had to say, think about it, incorporate it, reject it, reshape it, but definitely not ignore it.

Recently made an order from Amazon where I purchase these books:

Judaism, Human Values, and the Jewish State

Accepting the Yoke of Heaven: Commentary on the Weekly Torah Portion

Halakhic Man

Halakhic Mind

The Lonely Man of Faith

(Modern Jewish Thought)

Saadia Gaon: The Book of Beliefs and Opinions (Yale Judaica Series)

Maimonides: Torah and Philosophic Quest

(The Middle ages)

To Heal a Fractured World: The Ethics of Responsibility

Dignity of Difference: How to Avoid the Clash of Civilizations

(Sacks)

Sacred Monsters

The Challenge of Creation: Judaism's Encounter with Science, Cosmology, and Evolution

Man and Beast: Our Relationships with Animals in Jewish Law and Thought

(Slifkin, of course)

Anarchy, State, And Utopia

The Constitution of Liberty

(Some liberty for good measure)

Tall order eh?

I finished Halachik Man and Halachik Mind, and while I don't think 'The Rav' needs my haskama, I liked them very much. Good food for thought.... I find it interesting how he tries to blend existentialism and Judaism together in his formulation of the Halachic person. After reading the Halachik Mind though, I felt like I lacked a lot of classic philosophic knowledge. I really need to buy more books....

Back at the bookstore, I was looking over all the books that I would have to read to get a solid footing in the past philosophers. So much thinking has come before me. It isn't good enough to just read the cliff notes on what they said, that would be doing all of them a disservice.

In a fog I left the bookstore, got in my car, and went the wrong way down 8th Ave. Lucky me there was no traffic, and I quickly turned the block. Lot of good contemplating about life does me when I can't even drive straight.

Canvassing The Projects

Hey people, it's Thursday. Who can believe that the week has just flown by? Just yesterday it was Sunday, and just two days ago it was Monday, and three days ago it was Tuesday. Continuing in this fashion, the real yesterday was four days ago. Who knew?

I bet you are all wondering what the point of this post is. Am I making some sort of philosophical point regarding the concept and construct of time? Am I making a joke at my reader's expense? Is there no point at all? I too have asked myself these very questions.

What I am really saying is that I noticed nobody appreciated the post about my trip to The Projects. Perhaps it was too hidden in academic language and you just missed it. Perhaps you live in the projects and were offended. Perhaps you don't like the economic terminology I used in the essay,( though I don't think I made it too economic, in fact I was economical with my words.)

Be that as it may, perhaps a poem might convey the experience...

Broken buzzers
people walk in
elevators smell of piss
stairwells crack rappers
people hanging out in front
Broken windows
Broken Glass
Empty beer bottles litter the floor
Angry people at the door
....

I am a canvasser. I walk around the city and listen to your complains. Some places are nicer than others, some are just plain debased. If you want a place to live, don't go to the projects. Work real hard, buy a house, get the Real American dream.

Comment....

The Dead Reborn

I believe with perfect faith that there will be a revival of the dead at the time when it shall please the Creator, Blessed be His name, and His mention shall be exalted for ever and ever. (Ani Ma'amin, 13)

The 13th Principle of Faith according to the Rambam is the belief in the resurrection of the dead. When God wills it, the dead will rise from their graves. Belief in this brings about some good news and some bad news.

Good News: We all have a chance to have another life on this world even when the short time we have on this planet is passed. We have the possibility of looking at our descendants and passing judgment on all their failures. Not only do we have the chance to control the destiny of our children, we have the opportunity to mess with our great-great-great-great grandchildren as well.

Bad News: We have the chance to live on this miserable world again. After so many years of polluting the planet with out consequence we will have to come back to see the fruits of what we have wrought. We will get to see how much our children followed in our footsteps and continued to sin as we did. We will all have to go to the DMV and get our licenses renewed with another couple of road tests thrown in for good measure.

Obviously the good news of having the opportunity to meddle in the affairs of out descendants overrides the bad news of having to renew our drivers licenses. But what about for all those people who never learned how to drive in the first place? Can you imagine Moshe (Rabainu or Maimon) having to sit through drivers ed? Ancient medicine and 40 days on top of the mountain doesn't really prepare you for such an excruciating experience. On some levels it probably would be worth staying dead so as not to go through such horror.

Though on a side note I think anyone named Moshe (Rabainu, Maimon, or Feinstien) would appreciate free delivery from Duggies. The Mun may have tasted like anything you could imagine, but then I don't know how he could have imagined an Unbelievable Onion without tasting if first; mamish worth getting up from the dead for.

No Free Lunch in The Projects

In many parts of Brooklyn where people have low incomes, they live in subsidized housing. In even poorer parts of Brooklyn they live in The Projects: government owned and operated housing. While many people think they may be getting a great deal by living on the government’s dime, in reality nothing is free.

The first lesson they teach you when you go into Economics 101 is that there is no free lunch, everything has an economic cost. Even when you think you are getting a good deal there is always a trade off. Even buckets and buckets of the best fried chicken, no matter how tasty, will give you a stomach ache if you eat too much. What is not usually quantified when considering FREE is the quality of life a person will have to live to get the free stuff. People wait on lines for ages to get into a store for one big sale, but they are really paying through the roof in time they could be spending doing something more productive. In the case of the great sale, everyone loses out. The store owner because he loses valuable merchandise for a very low price just to clear inventory quickly, and the customers who could very well have had a much more productive day had they just bought whatever it was full price later.

The same idea can be applied to any form of supposedly free government services. It may seem free, but what are you giving up to get this supposed freedom?

Today I took a trip into one of the Brooklyn housing projects to find out exactly what people were giving up to live in government housing. What I found might not surprise you that much.

There were serious security issues when it comes to many of the buildings. Many of the buildings allowed any passerby to just walk in to the buildings. There didn’t seem to be any police officers present in the vicinity. Many of the buildings had their doors broken in, with the glass cracked as if by bullets. Some people said they heard gun shots, and saw muzzle flashes just the night before. In all the buildings I went into there were signs by residents asking people to lobby for more police protection to prevent the gun violence. Evidently one thing a person gives up when living in government housing is a sense of security.

It seemed like there were serious quality of life issues as well. Many of the elevators in the building smelled like urine. The buildings’ hallways had not been cleaned in more than a week. One person said that right after the buildings get cleaned people just spill garbage out in the hallways again. There were bags of used beer bottles in the halls, and what looked like used drug paraphernalia littering the stairwell. It is a bureaucratic process to get anything done or fixed. In order to get anything done the residents of the projects have to call a government agency to have them take care of it. With so many complains, and very little monetary incentive on the part of government workers, it is easy to see why it takes so long for anything to get fixed and taken care of.

The government housing projects epitomizes what it means to accept government assistance. The people that use what is offered are people that don’t have much choice in the matter. They earn very little money and cannot afford to pay for anything better. Some people may work hard; some may be retired people who could not save enough for retirement. What they all have in common is the fact that they have given up the American dream of home ownership and control of self for the dream of superficial cheapness and freedom. In real world though, there is no free lunch. While it may seem free on the outside, on the inside counts it costs big in security and quality of life.

Tuna Beigel Factory

You've shaved your beard and peyos. You traded in your shtreimel for a bend down. You switched from a rekel to a real suit and tie. Now that it's time to daven and pray to the one above; where do you go? Do you go to the local shteeble where people will look at you funny for giving up the livush (garb), or do you get together with all your fellow tunas and start a Tuna Beigal Factory?

There really is no choice at all. You create a Tuna Beigal Factory, a place where people just like you can feel right at home. Davening officially starts at 1o, but people don't roll in till a quarter till 11. When people do roll in the door they spend more time talking about business than praying. The guy leading the services knows how to move; you're out of there in an hour and fifteen flat, Laining included. And when its all over, a nice kiddush to keep the party going.

Such is the life of the Modern Chossidox.

Hypocrisy in Shul

Gut Vuch everyone...

It's one in the morning and after shluffing many hours on Shabbos afternoon I find that sleep alludes me. And why wouldn't it, there is only so much sleep the body can handle.

The Mishna in Pirkey Avos says not to sleep late, drink wine in the middle of the day, talk to children, sit with scoffers. I've done all of these in the past 12 hours.

• I woke up late, rolled into shul when they were almost up to Burichu.
  
• When the Kiddush came around I had a nice L'Chaim, around 12 noon.
  
• When I got home I discovered that my parents invited some of there friends over; it seems their kid enjoys many of the books that I found amusing when I was his age. The discussion was fascinating, in that he didn't talk and I reread many of the kids books over again with a new fervor.
• You don't want to know about the shmoozing I did during davening. I suppose that makes both me and my buddies a bunch of scoffers.

There I was sitting in shul minding my own business, talking to my friend during the break between one aliya and the other, when all of the sudden the chassidishe fellow sitting two chairs down tells us both to be quite. We of course kept talking to each other. Who was this big shot to tell us what to do? The Laining starts up again, and who do you guess starts talking but our chassidishe friend who had just told us to be quiet. We, being good people, would not possibly talk while the Torah was being read. ;)

When we began our conversion up again in between the next aliya, the chassidishe guy again makes his comment about how we should be quite. My friend replies that it sounds a little like hypocrisy on his part. To which the chassidishe fellow asks, "Vus Meint A Hypocrite?" (What does hypocrite mean?) My friend turns to me for an explanation, to which I reply, "Hypocrisy is when you say something and do the opposite."

The Chassidishe guy responds, "All De Rebbes do this..."

I am (not) Blind

I am blind. I cannot see what is right before my eyes. People want to kill each other; they want to eat each other alive. If not for the many laws put in place, and the law’s enforcement, people would do all sorts of bad things. Yet I want low taxes, no regulation on big businesses, automatic weapon ownership for all, and no ecological conservation. It will all work out in the end. I am a Republican.

I am blind. I can’t see the writing on the wall. People want to do all sorts of perverse things; they want to fulfill all their imaginable desires. If there would be no laws against it people would have multiple husbands and wives, they would sleep with animals, and they would go outside on a constant basis wearing nothing but their birthday suit. Yet I support gay marriage, nude beaches, recreational drug use, and assisted suicide. It will all work out in the end. I am a Democrat.

Doubly blind, liberty all combined, I am a Libertarian.

When you look at the extreme cases everything looks preposterous. Who would want to live in a world where big business could have multiple husbands and wives, including sheep?

True, you have to be blind to support any extreme position. But you have to be equally blind to accept the opposite extremes. Who wants high taxes; completely regulated businesses; the ability for only the criminals to have weapons through illegal hookups; and/or no utilities because everything is being conserved? Who wants to be told who they have to marry; what clothing they have to wear at all times; when they can take a painkiller, and/or what risks they can and cannot take?

Not me, that’s for sure.

If I want Morality, I will find it on my own terms. I don't have to be force fed something that doesn't sit well with me.

If I want to harm others, or even the Earth itself, the natural course of events will punish me for my misdeeds.

Don't be blind and look to government for all the answers to your prayers. Don't be blind.

Are you Observant?

I know I am an observant Jew; everything around me I make a point to observe. On the bus when everyone has there face facing forward, I am just looking at the people. There are so many different types of people, but almost every type adheres to the unspoken transit law- Thou shalln't make eye contact with thy fellow passenger. I find this hilarious, a whole bus load of people all staring directly forward.

Every so often something happens that under normal circumstances would have many people on the floor laughing. Someone falls in an especially slapstick fashion, an old lady having the hardest time getting on an off the bus giving the bus driver a really hard time all the while screaming in a Yiddish accent, the inane conversations between the young and old alike, all might normally make a person smile and laugh. On the subway or bus though, there is no real reaction allowed. Everyone just stares straight ahead all the while laughing inside. God help the person who makes eye contact. A city so big has the population of one.

I personally cant help putting a smile on my face at the little things that I find humorous. The kids fighting among themselves, the kids flirting among themselves, the one kid falling on his tuchus as the train picks up speed. The man dressed as a clown getting on the bus in his wheelchair, the old women asking the bus driver in a loud voice if her stop is next, the tramp who forgot the reason clothing was invented. The husband and wife doting on their little kid, people in their own little worlds as they listen to their music, two women on the way home from work talking about something that has absolutely no real importance whatsoever. All these bring a smile to my face.

Isn't it very oxymoronic that being an observant Jew actually means not observing the world around you? As an observant Jew you are taught to watch your eyes, or in plainer terms, stare intently at the pavement as if there is something interesting to be discovering if only you looked hard enough at the floor. "Don't go after your heart and after your eyes," meaning never looking at the things in the world that might bring a smile to your face, or stir up any desire, we as observant Jews are taught the verse to mean. You will find many fine people who bury their faces in their sfarim of sedurim when they get on the bus or the train. They do this to pass the time, but also so that they do not have to look at the world around them as they travel.

Isn't it funny that in a search for piety the observant Jew looks exactly like the run of the mill nonobservant person on the transit system?

When do you go to sleep?

My father all ways used to tell me to get to sleep at a reasonable hour. The more he would tell this to me the later I would go to sleep. Eventually there were times when I just stayed up all night and didn't sleep at all. The real question is, what is a reasonable hour?

My father does the 8-7 thing. He gets up on time for shachris, goes to work, and comes home late and tired after a long day. For him 'a reasonable hour' means having enough energy to function the next full long day. What does it mean for me?

I have Yeshiva; I have an afternoon job; but I don't have the same pressure to get up in the morning. If I sleep late, it's not the worst thing in the world. God isn't killing me if I miss minyan, or Sof Zman Kris Shma. I get up when I get up, I daven when I daven, and I do what I have to do on my own time.

To some this may sound irresponsible. They are right. It is irresponsible. It is what it is. I go to sleep when I am exhausted; I wake when I am refreshed. The time of day has nothing to do with it so long as it isn't really too late. And 'too late' is a subjective measure each day.

I suppose 'get to sleep at a reasonable hour' means go to sleep so that when I wake up there is enough time to still make Minyan, Yeshiva, and breakfast. I suppose I could make the effort to get up earlier. But for what?

Most people who get up on time do so for one of two reasons. One, they have a monetary responsibility, or some other commitment, to get them up. Two, insomnia and habit wake them up at a certain time and they are unable to get back to sleep. The whole morning routine is part and parcel of one of those two reasons. In my mind, people don't just get up just Because. There is a set amount of hours a person can go with out sleep, does it matter whether those hours are done at night or during the day?

It's 1:12 in the morning. Is this a reasonable time to be getting to sleep?

Universal Reactions to Social Events

Something big just took place, a wedding, a funeral, a birth, a death, a meal, a trip, a nap. After each one of these things taking place there is a typical response for how people should feel. Some evens make people feel happy, some sad, some tired, some well rested. Each event makes people feel differently. However, everyone is not created equal, and different people feel differently after different things. Not everyone feels the same way. While some things a geared toward making people happy, some people become sad instead. Some people are tired in the morning even after a couple of hours sleep. Some people just like funerals. Nobody is the same, and nothing has a universal response.

For some, the universal response is their response. They are happy on birthdays, weddings, and graduations. They are sad at funerals, divorces, and dropping out of school. Others though have varying reactions when it comes to these things. They may be sad when the universal reaction is to be happy and happy when the universal reaction is to be sad.

Why is there a universal reaction to certain things? Why do some people not follow this universal reaction?

Everyone is different, but some are more different than others. No two reactions to any event are the same. There are complex physiological components to each and every happening in a person’s existence. In effect, the concept of a universal reaction is flawed; all that exists is the socially acceptable reaction.

When a people go to a wedding they don’t want to see tears, unless those are tears of joy. It is supposed to be a happy time. Happy times should not be ruined by the sadness of a few people who don’t like weddings. The opposite is true for a funeral; people don’t want to see laughter. Sad events should have a somber feel to them. There shouldn’t be anyone laughing out loud at the death at the occasion of somebody’s death, even if they did live the fullest life a person can live. The ‘universal reaction’ isn’t what everyone necessarily feels inside; it’s what the event socially represents. The measure of how much a person fits in with the group at the event is how well he aligns his own personal reactions to the social expectations.

The weird and socially awkward people are those that don’t follow the expectations of the group. They are the people that cry loudly when everyone else is happy. They are the people that laugh when there are funerals. They are the people that mope around then everyone else is upbeat. They are the people that do their own thing no matter what the situation. And they are the people that everyone looks at strangely.

When my grandfather died a few years ago, I laughed inside. Like Sarah who laughed out of disbelief when she heard she was going to have a child when she was well past the age when women have children, I laughed. I couldn’t believe the concept of death could really touch me so close to home. I wasn’t sad that he was gone, I wasn’t happy either. I was just taken aback at the turn of events, so much so that I laughed at the situation.

Later, a close friend of mine got engaged to be married. For a long while I was sad at the turn of events. Just a few days ago we were pals, now he is another one of those fellows at shul with a tallis. When it came to his wedding I put on a happy face, but deep down I was sad for what I had lost.

On graduating from college I found no good reason not to go to the graduation. However, I still didn’t go. It was a great event, finishing up school and all, but I felt nothing and definitely no reason to go out of my way.

There have been various funerals for people who died in the past few years. If you live long enough you will experience your fare share of births as well as deaths. When it comes to funerals, I just don’t go. Respect for the dead? I just can’t build up the required reaction to the gravity of the situation. Cry? Laugh? I can’t feel anything, at these sad occasions. Am I supposed to put on a show for the groups benefit?

I think not.

I guess I’m just weird and socially awkward. I have very little use for Universal Reactions.

The Well Rounded Child Ish Diet

Are you tired of being made fun of by all your friends? Have you found that you have too much energy in the morning? Are you tired of the lean and hungry look?

If you answer yes to any of these questions, the Child Ish diet may be right for you. Based on the famous Lipa Shmeltzer diet song, the Child Ish diet is guaranteed to give you a well rounded figure, or your money back. In just 30 days or less the Child Ish diet is sure to help you gain weight.

Many people find that in today's fast pace culture it is harder to keep up that well rounded shape. Fad diets geared toward making people lose, instead of gain, have been all the rage in the past few years. The round minded dieter has gotten pushed to the side by all the weight loss fanatics. Now with the new Child Ish diet, the big boned dieter will no longer feel left out in the journey for body shape maintenance.

The Child Ish diet is part of a 3 part program that is geared to making you a bigger happier you.

1. Quit Exercising
2. Eat until you are stuffed (and not just full).
   
3. Drink lots of high caloric beverages including beer and milkshakes.

The diet falls into the second step of the program where you up your calorie intake to more than your body would need for a day you might be doing two marathons. You consume as much food as you can possibly handle, and still stand on your feet. This meal is washed down with two or three beers, or alternatively a double milkshake. In this fashion you will be well on your way to your goal of a much bigger you.

The first part of the program is really very self explanatory. Don't move more muscles more than necessary to get to the refrigerator and back to the computer or TV. There really is nothing more to it. Quit your job if it requires strenuous exercise, and get a new one where you can sit at a desk all day. Most importantly, be the least active as you can.

There is no gimmicks, no tricks, and most importantly no jokes. All you have to do is live the American dream, and eat as much as you can. If you are not popping out of your clothing, you are just not living.

Have a great big happy day!

For Those That Come After Us: Humanity's Striving for Eternity

At the end of the day, we are all physically ending up in the same place. This is a fact that is undisputed by all humanity. Intellectually we all know that there is an end to this life that we lead. We see people die all the time, and eventually our time will come as well. It is the emotional side of us that tries to convince us that we can each live forever. It is the part of us that strives for the eternal that demands that we strive to be more than the creatures bound by time, creatures that live, but will eventually die.

We all strive to accomplish something in this world, to make a difference,to have an impact. Yet the same knowledge that is in the back of our minds concerning our own mortality is in the back of our minds concerning the world's mortality. Deep down we all know that eventually this world will come to an end. When that day comes, all the good deeds a person did become useless in terms of other people. There will be no one around to appreciate what we did, or what we planned to do. All stars eventually change, ours is no different; the galaxy will expand or contract, depending on your viewpoint; there is a high likelihood of an asteroid colliding with our planet; we may destroy ourselves through nuclear war. Whether the end is in the far distant future, or in the not so distant future, something will eventually take place that will make all of our human pursuits worthless.

Even with the certainty of our own demise right in front of us, everybody still lives their lives in a state of delusion that life as we know it will continue to go on forever. We convince ourselves that no drastic changes will take place in our lifetimes. If ever the possibility of such drastic change is to appear on the horizon we will do anything in our power to prevent it from happening, anything to continue the delusion. Yet the day will eventually come when we can do nothing, when all action we take will be futile. Eventually humanity will have to say "Good Bye" to the universe. The question now is, with this realization, what do we do?

Religion answers this difficult question. Religion tells us that even after we think we are gone, we still have the possibility of living for that eternity we always imagined. We have the chance of sitting "under God's throne" and experiencing an unending quasi-godliness for all eternity, if only we live in this world properly. Religion tells you that so long as you live as an upright person in this world you have the chance of bypassing the certain mortal death, and the pain of the continual knowledge of your eventual nonexistence. Instead you will get to live eternally with God. When given Pascal's wager many people will choose to bet on the side that there is a God, and that there is an eternity after death. They would do so not only because of the perceived eternal reward that they might get in the future, but also because it allows them to live this life in the present tense, and not continually guessing about when this ephemeral existence will come to an end.

The problem is that everyone's conception of eternity and the methodology of getting there is different. Everyone believes that their path to eternity is to be achieved in their own way. Some even deny the possibility of eternity entirely, they become atheists and choose the certainty of the dead corpse at the end of their life. Others life life with no certainty at all; they see all the various ways people see themselves as achieving eternity and they are not certain of the truth. They are constantly searching, but remain agnostic to any one true path to an eternal existence. Still others grab on to organized religion for the answer to their prayers of eternity. They grab on to the only people that profess to have the certain truth. They take the leap of faith that the accounts told over in the past have veracity to them, and that those accounts were passed down through the generations accurately, giving some sort of certainty in their mind when it comes to the afterlife. While each of these types of people differ in there view on how to achieve the eternal next life, all these people have one thing in common, they each share the same non-eternal existence. The one thing that binds humanity together is not their struggle to achieve an afterlife;it is this life that everyone on Earth shares in common.

Everyone, no matter what they think their path to eternity may be, must live in the present as it is now. Even though we are all dead in the end, and it is precisely this fact that makes people strive for eternity in the arms of religion, when we act on this world today we must act as if we are planning for the human race to have an everlasting existence. We must ignore the fact that eventually all will die, and act on the assumption that everything will go on forever. If we act in any other fashion, we are dooming our descendants to a certain death at our hands. If we act as if we are the last generation, we are forcing our children to live lives we would never wish on our worst enemies. Since there is no global consensus when it comes to achieving the afterlife, humanity as a whole can not use the afterlife in any actionable way. People must act as if they have full control over the destiny of humanity. Humanity must continually fight to keep living, to achieve eternity on it's own grounds.

At the same time as humanity strives and plans for eternity, there is also the 'natural forces' at work fighting tooth and nail to destroy us. The same process that created the world is the same process that will end it. That being the case, to plan for the eternity of humanity through the conservation of all the natural resources is foolish and long sighted to the point of being stupid. It would be comparable to saving food knowing that by the time you are able to eat it, the food will already have been long spoiled and you may possibly be already dead.

How do we balance the reality of the scarcity of resources being used for current use, including the resources of breathable air and a livable planet, against the fact that by using any resources we are dooming our children and/or our children's children to certain death?

To Be Continued in the following post...

Don't Be Depressed! Guest Post By Mike In Midwood

This is a guest post by Mike In Midwood. In an effort to confuse people, we have both posted guest posts on the others blog. Mike is great at observing the little things about Midwood, and Jewish life in general, making for some fun reading. Enjoy Mike's insight on why you should not be depressed.

Why do people even bother to be depressed? If you are depressed and down, it doesn't help to keep being depressed. The fact remains; you’re still down.

Get up and do something.

It’s just that people feel that they need the world to stop for a moment and sob it all out. As if all the problems go away with sulking.

Not always when you are depressed do you turn to g-d, see the light, and it makes you instantly so happy that you decide to pray with your whole heart with the tears streaming down your face,like all the story books say it will be (like they say "that's scene came straight out of a Feldheimer publisher" [the real saying goes "straight out of Hollywood"]). You have to work your way out; otherwise, you’re still in the dirt.

There are good reasons not to be depressed.

People look down upon you as if you are a second class citizen. They feel bad for you, and after a while they don't want to help you, because you won’t help yourself. This just turns your life into one big crazy depression, making it very hard to get out of.

The second reason is: Why have a sucky life? If you are depressed about your life sucking it won’t get better. Stop being depressed and get your life moving. Being happy is the only way to not be depressed. Do something fun; or if possible, mentally make it up that you don't want to be depressed, and if you don't want to be then you eventually won’t be.

Don't be a depressed person; the economy is not as bad as you think. And if it is, jump off a roof and end it like everyone else. Obama isn't ending the world; you don't have to sulk about it. And if he is then Messiah is coming, so why sulk? Be happy and enjoy your life, like the wise Solomon said in Mishlei, "eat drink and be merry for tomorrow we will die".

Guide to becoming a Maverick (Part II)

The Websters definition of a maverick is an independent individual who does not go along with a group or party. This about sums it up. A maverick is an independently thinking individual. Just because a certain group seems to think one thing doesn't mean that the maverick will go along with what ever it is. If the maverick does decide to go along with the group, it is only because he personally decided to take the course of action. It is not out of any consideration of the views that the group as a whole hold to be true. The ideas themselves, weighed on their own merits, will be the deciding factor in determining whether the ideas are true or false.

Since it is ideas that form the basis for a maverick's views, it is important that a person who wants to be a maverick develop a thick skin toward the insults and criticism so freely given by people around him. As a maverick it is a given that there will be many people who do not agree with your views, and your actions based on your views. These people will try to change the way you think and act. If you are a maverick, you must be willing to let the opinions of others bother you only so much as they can help you understand why people feel the way they do, and not as something intrinsically meaningful. Once you allow the opinions of others to emotionally effect you, and be an impetus to changing who you are, you stop being a maverick, and become the follower of the other person's ideology by proxy.

That being said, it is important to have a few people who agree with you, and whom you agree with some of the time. You need a little fringe receptivity to ground you in the reality of this world, and in order to keep your own sanity. Even an independent thinker needs a sounding board to bounce his ideas off of from time to time. One does not always think of all the possible objections to a theory on his own. Sometimes the consequences of a certain thought or action seems like it is one thing but in reality you are not in possession of all the information to adequately judge. Other people help show you the things you did not realize, help point out the flaws in your thinking, and lend emotional support for the times you need it to go on. Without the support of at least some fringe receptivity it is easy for Maverick to turn into Loony Bin inhabitant.

The end goal of a Maverick is to be an independently thinking person, whose ideas are ahead of the social bell curve. With time perhaps the idea of the independent thinker might grow and receive popular receptivity. However, even this is not always guaranteed. There have been many thinkers throughout history whose ideas remain on the fringe. It is for this reason even the most maverick of people have turned and become followers in one way or another. They gave in to the social pressure and became people who are part of the system that they disagreed with. Did these people loose their status of Maverick just because they gave in to the system in one way or another?

It is important to remember is that life is not an all or nothing game. Like poker, every hand doesn't have to be all in. In reality, there are no absolutes; you can be both a leader and a follower. You can be a leader in your field, a maverick; and a follower,for pragmatic reasons, in interests that don't really interest you. To be a leader in every field of endeavor is hard work, there isn't really time enough in a person's life to make an individual thought out opinion on every subject. If one tries to do so, it usually leads to them becoming a contrarian, arguing with everyone just for the sake of arguing, and not from any well thought out ideas.

However, just because you decide to become a follower in things that don't strike your interest doesn't mean you have to let that define who you are. As a Maverick you must be aware of the risks inherent to becoming a follower in some areas. The laziness, or the idea of time limitation, could end up becoming the modus operandi in every instance in life. People can always tell themselves that the reason they are not thinking about an idea is because they have other things that are more important on their mind at the moment to form an intelligent thought out opinion. If a person does this too often, they become nothing more than a follower in every instance in life. Don't let the following part of you define who you are. Don't let the confidence that you built in becoming a maverick go to waste just for pragmatism. Just because you happen not to run red lights while you are driving out of the pragmatic concern of hitting a pedestrian or getting a ticket doesn't mean you have to define yourself as "a driver who doesn't run red lights." Define yourself by what makes you the Unique in your own eyes, not what makes you in common with all the masses.

Follow this advice and you may not get happiness. But then, the people who guarantee happiness always demand you follow their way of getting that happiness. While I give you my way of defining what it means to be a Maverick, as a Maverick yourself, you can take it or leave it.