On your mark; get set; GO! ok... GO! ..... GO! Nuuuuu....

There is money in Slavery or Praying for JOB Security

2011-09-25T03:06:00.001-04:00

Yes, you can become as slave. It isn't illegal to give up your life to another human being. In fact just the opposite, slavery is encouraged in today's society. We just have another word for it, we call it "Full employment with benefits." However, instead of buying slaves in the slave market as was the case a few hundred years ago, today slaves are bought on the job market.

Here is how the process works.

Step 1. Make yourself look good for whomever is going to be buying the merchandise. This could be in the form of getting better skills than the next slave, it could be writing a nice description of yourself in the form of a resume, or it could be simple grooming to make a good first impression on your future master.

Step 2. Find someone you think might benefit from your services. If you can't find anyone, you are not looking hard enough or you're not really ready to be a slave. Remember, like a used car, you can always find a buyer if you just lower your price enough.

Step 4. Show the person you would like to serve why it would be advantageous to have you as a slave. Like slaves of old in the slave market standing naked so that the buyers can see all they have to offer, bare your soul to your future master and show him why you will offer to give him more than what he is paying to get you. Explain why your whole existence up to this point has led you to seek this position and how you think you will serve him best.

Step 5. Respectfully negotiate your living conditions while serving as slave. Show how much better you will work if your master pays for your doctor bills should you happen to get sick. Explain how much more productive you will be in the rest of the year if you would get 12 days paid vacation instead of 10. Beg for better food and clothing in the form of more green scraps of paper.

Step 6. Work until your master says it's okay for you to go home. Work until your master says your work has not been up to his standards. Work until your master decides it's time he became a slave himself.

Step 7. Recognize that you are a worn out slave and hope your master still cares enough about you to put you out to pasture and not send you to the glue factory.

When it come to Careers.... It's all BS

2011-09-21T03:20:00.004-04:00

Let's start by laying the cards right on the table. Nobody wants a job. Nobody wants to spend hours and hours at an office day in and day out just to come home and sit in front of a 73 inch widescreen home theater system. People might get jobs because they want what the money a job will provide. But people don't get jobs just for having a job's sake.

It might be true that some people may say that they want a job for getting a job's sake, but what they really mean is that they want something to do on a daily basis that will give their life a sense of purpose while at the same time providing a steady income to pay for other things that give life meaning or sustain life. This is not the same thing as getting a job.

A job, or a career as some high minded people might like to call it, is just a simple market exchange. It can be a long term exchange, as when you get a salaried position with a firm, or it can be a short term exchange, as when you get a contract to do some work on someone's house. The purpose of the exchange is to provide some sort of value, and to get paid for providing this value. However, while altruism might be a strong motive when writing a resume for a non-for-profit organisation, what really motivates people's choice to get a job/career is the paycheck.

What is the problem with the idea that people are only in it for themselves, and only in it for the paycheck? The problem lies in actually choosing who to hire for the job. If at the end of the day everyone just wants a paycheck and no one actually wants to be there to do the job that you need to be done, you end up with a job poorly done. The only way you can actually make sure that the person hired for the job is going to do a good job is if you have some way of knowing that the person values the job intrinsically for something beyond the salary.

And so arrives the BS.

Because if everyone knows that the only people getting the jobs are people who want the job for some other reason besides the paycheck, everyone will have an intensive to give off the signal of wanting something more that the paycheck even though all they really want is a nice salary. Basically, everyone will lie. And the honest people who just want to make a living will be without a job. (or they may end up owning their own business.)

The problem with this system is that nobody has intrinsic motivation to do ________________, people just want to get paid so that they can ______________________,____________________________,________________________, and ______________________.

Barack Obama, Corporate America, Rush Limbaugh, and others like them have people convinced that what they want is jobs and careers. What people really want is a sense of purpose, love, security, adventure, and a better car than your neighbors wife's first husband who only comes around on weekends. People are convinced that getting a job will get them these things because this is what they are being told by the invention of the unemployment rate. Why else would the unemployment rate exist except to paint a grim picture when people are out of jobs? Why else would such a rate exist unless one of societal. corporate, and governmental goals was to encourage employment?

To summarize...And to rephrase...

I am sick and tired of looking a want ads that seem to think I have to make my dream in life working for their company. I am sick and tired of the only people being straight forward about the fact that people are only really in it for the money are the scam artists sending me emails asking for me to do money laundering. I am sick and tired of the concept of a cover letter where I have to explain to someone why I'll be a good fit for the job. The biggest disgrace in this country is not that so many people don't have jobs. The biggest disgrace is that so many people do have jobs.

Companies fear lawsuits. They fear the hassle of letting people go. They fear hurting people's feelings and disrupting their idea of safety and security. So they spend ages making sure they have the perfect candidate for the job. They waste time, effort, and energy looking for signaling mechanisms to make sure that they get the perfect employee. What they end up with is the person who can give off the best signals, and not necessarily the best employee.

Instead of worrying about hierarchy and hurting people's feelings, hire and fire till you find the person that does the job best. A seven second impression, a personality test, a college degree, and even the person telling you why the job is their life's dream, on top of all the other wonderful selection mechanisms in the world are nothing compared to seeing how the person actually responds when getting the job done.

And the job will be done, after all you are paying me aren't you?

(as usual... Unproofed ;)

You can say Anything! It will change Everything! A view of Possibilities And Orthodoxy

2011-08-16T03:24:00.000-04:00

Every perspective that I read opens my mind to the world of possibilities that are out there. Every article possess within it the seed of ideas that make up a writers worldview. Every person writing something new is adding to the variations of possible ways to look at the world. Yet this thought itself is at odds with the very tenet of Orthodox faith.

The tenet of any "Orthodoxy" is that there is only One Truth. There may be many interpretations of that truth, but all these interpretations must adhere the the basic idea of One Truth. It is for this reason people who are strict adherents of any Orthodoxy will refrain reading works written by people who do not align with their own worldview. They will even go so far as to ban books written by people of their own world view if they think that the ideas expressed do not align with the One Truth ideology. The influence of unorthodox views can impact a person's adherence to the idea of One Truth.

Orthodoxy serves as a limiting mechanism in the field of unlimited possible ideas. Without social pressure, traditional values, walls of impossible heights, and a compass to show the way there is no way for a person to have any way of knowing where they will end up with their lines of inquiry and reasoning. Orthodoxy is man's safety net in a world of unlimited uncertainty, and a world of unlimited ideas. Orthodoxy tells a person that at least there are others out there who adhere to the same logic. If the ship is going down, at least there will be lots of people going down with me.

Orthodoxy is not only something that is found in religious circles. Every human endeavor on the planet has it's own Orthodoxy. Academia has it's own orthodoxy with its peer review. Fashion has it's orthodoxy in the celebrities. Politics has an orthodoxy in the main stream political parties. Everywhere a person looks they can get a glimpse of people massing together and agreeing to "frame the conversation", to set the boundaries of what is possible in the current climates of life and the current ways of thinking.

Yet anytime one sees the masses of people agreeing to frame the conversation, one will also see the dissenters on the sidelines. These are the people that are willing to stand apart and leave the huddled masses, saying what they believe is correct no matter what the consequence. These are the people who destroy the Orthodoxy of today and make room for the Orthodoxy of tomorrow. These are the people who offer new ideas to people who would otherwise continue to think in one direction no matter what was going on around them. It is these people who enrich Orthodoxy with the various possibilities that are available. But it is also these people who undermine the whole idea Orthodoxy was meant to engender, a sense of safety and a sense of limits, and a sense that there is One Truth out there that can be known only through the orthodox lens.

It's at this point that I ask you, the reader, to reflect on what I have been saying. Think about the people you know who might be re-framing the conversation with their new ways of looking at things. What do you think the impact of their ideas will be? What do you think the impact of those ideas have been in the past? How do you think the existing orthodoxies will change due to the introduction of these new ways of thinking? Think about yourself, think about the way you personally think, perhaps you are someone who might possibly be thinking outside the box. Do you think your ideas have the power to change everything? Do you want them to have that power, or is holding your own unframed viewpoint enough?

Money Ideas?

2011-06-01T23:16:00.000-04:00

I'm going to write a book about getting rich quick in the hopes that people buying it will make me rich quick.

Why does this sound like a bad idea?

Are we all just pragmatists?

2011-05-25T02:42:00.000-04:00

Time after time, situation after situation, I encounterpeople that “get things done.” They argue with a sense of certainty that theyare doing “the right thing for the situation,” as if there isn’t really anyright thing at all. These people are called pragmatists. They look at thesituation and determine what the right thing to do is based on what theybelieve are the special circumstances of that situation. This person deserves abreak, this person needs a little help, this person could use a little extratime for special circumstances. Personally, I can’t really find fault with suchlines of thinking. How can I fault the very thing that I do as well on aregular basis? No. The problem I have is with closet pragmatists- the people whoat the same time they look at special circumstances they claim that they areworking within a set system of boundaries. Hypocrisy: that is the real issue.

How can people on the one hand say that they support theRule of Law and then with the same breath undermine the rule of Law by givingspecial people a break?

In a country that believes in opportunity for all, how can politiciansgo and create laws that benefit the few?

As Jews who pretend to care about right and wrong, emes andsheker, how can we go about defending people who are most obviously guilty?

Either there is a standard, or there is no standard at all.Once you start making exceptions to the rule, there is no rule at all.Everything is exceptions. Once everything is exceptions, aren’t we all justpragmatists?

(As always- Unproofed.)

Get Rich Quick! (Should I get an expensive paperweight?)

2011-05-22T22:28:00.000-04:00

Just a few moments ago I had typed into the search engine asimple request, “How to make money fast.” I got back a plethora of responsesall detailing the various ways a person could make money with out doing mucheffort. There were the letter stuffing jobs, the buying and selling websitejobs, the make your own search engine jobs, the sell stuff on ebay jobs, andeven the become an outsourced secretary at home job. Over and over one thoughtgoes through my head, why would anyonepay money for something that anyone could do?

It all comes back to value. Way back when the butcher,baker, and coax cable maker all did the jobs in their job description. Thebutcher would butch, the baker would bake, and the coax cable maker would makecandles. Then around the time I was old enough to realize that I might need toget a job someday, they changed all the rules. No longer would a person’s jobdescription define what they produced; now a person’s job is whatever it takesto make money. Everyone is a marketer, everyone is a self promoter, andeveryone is now a slave.

When tangible goods were the name of the game people knewwhere they stood. They were the producer of X, Y, and a little of Z. They knewthat at the end of the day they produced something of VALUE. The products thatwere made were actual things that were used. Even software manufacturers knewthat they were producing something that would actually have some sort ofproductive value. A better way to type documents is still a better way to typedocuments.

Now with the invention of “the cloud”, “the apps store”, “facebookmarketing” and every other nonsense under the sun, people are being forced topay money for nothing at all. And people are actually being paid to producethings that have no value whatsoever. Apps get created, bought, used once, andnever touched again. Phones get discarded with increasing frequency. E-booksget written, published, sold, and never take up one inch of shelf space. Thebook itself is never actually read either. The world is a shallow place, andthe little birds of the world that pay for it all, a shallow people.

So my questions is these:

Should I pay 700 dollars for an Ipad?

Should I get a high paying job adding value to a company?

Should I pay $1 to rent a movie on RedBox?

Should I pay extra for the brand name? (The same Brand Name thatspent extra on a commercial to tell me why it’s better than the generic storebrand)

Should I pay taxes to a government that will use the moneyto buy someone else’s car and then smash the car?

I’ll wear my knitted cap under my black hat. That’ll teachthem about values.

(Un-proof-red)

On the existence of Roaches

2011-05-22T01:53:00.000-04:00

Some of the best ideas pop into a person’s head in themiddle of the night. Some of the worst ideas pop into a person’s head in themiddle of the night.

Why did God create Roaches?

What possible purpose do they serve? Perhaps they werecreated before God had man in mind? Perhaps they were created to mess with man’smind?

I am of course referring to the little tiny roaches thatscurry around when you just come into the apartment and turn the light on;those roaches that run under the counter just as you are arming yourself with acan of [insert bug killer spray here]. You know the kind I mean.

4 months w/o anexterminator is really a killer.

I suppose when the dead bugs go up to heaven they can havemy existential question answered. Though, perhaps God’s answer would be, “[insert godly sounding answer here]”

Values

2011-05-20T02:24:00.002-04:00

Sitting in the living room at 2 in the morning, I findmyself contemplating values. Specifically, I find myself contemplating Americanvalues. Obama has given a speech in which he policifies how he thinks Americanvalues should be spread throughout the world, specifically in the Middle East. I find myself asking the same question overand over in my mind, what exactly is American Values? Perhaps they are thevalues the American Heritage Foundations sponsors in High School text books?Perhaps they are the voice of the President of the United States himself? Or perhapsthe values are the words that come from Fox News?

Frankly, I have no idea what makes up American values? Ihave even less of an idea of what makes up family values. I even have a hardtime formulating what are my own values. (ok, the questions should have been inthe opposite order, but then who can say?) What does it really mean to have (Capital‘V’) Values?

The same old questions

2011-01-30T09:42:00.000-05:00

Is it pointless to dwell on the same old philosophical questions? Eventually you find the answers you are looking for, or you don't, and either way you change from the person you once were to the person you are now. The new person you become is either still interested in the types of questions the previous person was interested in, or he is interested in a whole new set of questions. If the person is interested in the same types of questions he was interested in before he asked the first set of questions, can we say that this is a changed person asking the questions? Perhaps the fact that he is still asking the same questions proves that the person he once was still has not evolved into...

If I actually wanted someone to understand what I am saying I would probably say it this way: If you asked me today, "Why are we here?" and tomorrow you asked me the same question I would have to say that you are the same person you were yesterday. A new person would have figured out the answer to yesterday's problem and moved on to the followup question, "Where are the doughnuts?" The second question being a direct corollary of the first, plus a little demonstration of emotional growth. However, a person who continually asks the same question shows that he is still "hung up" on the same nonsense he was hung up on the day before.

What I postulate is that growth, in the philosophical sense, is the product of moving on to new sets of questions.

What are your new set of questions?

(un-proofread)

Limonana

2011-01-26T15:30:00.000-05:00

Mint Lemonade. It really tastes a million times better than it sounds. Having gone into many restaurants and ordering Limonana, I have developed a taste for it's refreshing flavor. At first I thought that it was some sort of Spanish drink. After all, Spain is the home to all sorts of interesting things, and the word ends with "ana", a Spanish sounding sound. However, a simple internet search, as well as consulting with many Spanish people, informed me that in fact Limonana is an Israeli drink. It seems you have to be Jewish to really know how to enjoy life.

Lemons
Fresh Mint Leaves
Sugar
Ice

I'll let you discover the secret to making it taste like Heaven.

You have to work to get to Heaven.

Do you put your faith in an Umbrella?

2010-12-12T22:51:00.000-05:00

Chaim doesn't.

Plotting My Spiritual Development

2010-10-17T12:44:00.000-04:00

Step One. Grow up in a Traditional Right-Wing Yeshiva. Values: Putting on Tzitzis in the morning, listening to Gedolim Stories, memorizing Mishnayos.

Step Two: Difficulty reading and translating Hebrew.

Step Three. Logic through Talmud as well as through secular studies introduced (6th-7th Grade). The Gedolim Stories are not all that they seem.

Step Four. Bar Mitzvah. The realization that nothing really changes even after you put on Teffilin.

Step Five. Chofetz Chaim Brand High School education. Evolution taught, but Jewish perceptive taught as well." Nothing New under the Sun." Read Isaac Asimov's Foundation Series.

Step Six. Mussar. Mussar. Guilt. Mussar. Guilt. Reject Mussar.(11th-12th Grade)

Step Seven. Rationalism. Ramchal. Rambam. ect. There is no fantasy in Judaism.

Step Eight. College Education. Plato. Kant.

Step Nine. The synthesis. The rejection of the synthesis. The limits of Rationalism.

Step Ten. Existentialism. Kierkegaard. Rosenzweig. ect. Back to the Gedolim stories. Not true, TRUE. Accepted as true.

Step Eleven. Life is a search for meaning. I'm going to Daven.

I know nothing

2010-10-04T21:51:00.000-04:00

Ask me what I know, and I will tell you that I know nothing. I know absolutely nothing at all. I try to imagine that I actually know something. I read books that supposedly contain knowledge. Then I ask myself, what do I really know? I come back to the same answer: Nothing.

I went through many years of school. I studied hard to get good grades, please my teachers, and acquire a body of knowledge considered socially acceptable. Looking back on it all, I can say with certainty the same as Solomon, All is vanity. Everything I ever learned is not TRUE. All that I studied lacks the backbone of certainty in my mind.

History is his story. Literary interpretation is a particular person's interpretation. Science is the science of the scientists of the day. Even math is full of the imaginary. There is no subject in the High School catalog that can say, "I am Truth. What I say you can bet the farm on. You can truly KNOW." The college catalog is less inviting to TRUTH. Uncertainty is masked in big words.

So I turn my head and heart toward the religious subjects, but even there I find no solace. Religion, the very source of certainty, has left me with a hole filled with nothing but more questions. Is the food Kosher? What time is the right time to pray, and if I miss the time, should I pray at all? All day I sang, "Moshe is Truth, and his Torah is truth," yet I go home wondering if I have to remain without a shower for the next two days.

We all love people who can make a decision and stick with it with consistency. Yet the only one who can claim true consistency is someone who has a system in place that can work all the time. I don't claim consistency; I don't even know if any such system exists that can work all the time. Who can say what is true? What is false? When new knowledge shows up, consistency with past truths just seems like a person who keeps saying they know something in a situation where they really know nothing.

I know nothing.

It's an OUTRAGE

2010-09-03T02:09:00.000-04:00

Just the other day while I was standing there waiting for the bus I noticed some Yeshiva guys throwing papers into the street. I can't understand how they could be acting in such a horrible fashion. It's a real degradation. We should teach our children better.

Just the other day I saw a old chassidishe fellow with a beard, peyos, kappel, and cane hitting a Yeshiva buchur who was throwing papers into the street. I can't understand how old people can be acting this way. Don't they realize that we pay their social security. It's a real Shanda. We should have trained our old people better.

Just the other day as I was driving home from work I heard two Rabbunim discussing the problems that were going on in the world. They blamed it all on shlumpy dressed women. If only women dressed with more material on the billboards children would behave and old men would leave their canes at home. I don't understand these out of touch Rabbis. Don't they understand the simple idea of cause and effect. The reason all the bad stuff happens in our society is because sfardi Jews have been eating rice on pesach and making all the ashkinazi Jews jealous.

Just the other day, a couple of days ago in fact, I noticed a bag of rice that had some weevils in it bearing an kashrus seal on it. How can these Rabbis tell us not to drink bugs when they put a symbol on stuff that has little bugs in it. I am outraged. Just because bugs have extra protein doesn't mean they should become kosher.

And the joke goes on..... Outrage over schools not opening for budgetary reasons. Outrage over bad kiruv practices. Outrage over lack of Rationalism. Outrage over too much rationalism. General outrage over the lack of outrage. And don't forget the outrage for not putting all your faith in Secular Governments to solve child molestation cases. The outrage of allowing the government to get involve in something a Baisdin should have been consulted on first. O, don't forget the Mask in Honor of 9/11, what an outrage!

Have you ever noticed that these outrages seem to come in a cycle? Maybe it's just me noticing them. It seems like people need something or other to get excited about. If it's not something real it has to be the sports team that's playing that day.

It seems to me that all this OUTRAGE is just a product of our inability to live in close proximity to people who have different values than we do. Instead of our outrage being manifested in riots, as happens in Israel, we just spew meaningless words to make ourselves feel better and imagine that we are actually doing something to promote our own cause.

The framers of the constitution were smart when they put in freedom of speech. You can say what you want, you can argue the point, you can even rant and rave, but you can never really change anything.

By the way: The first four paragraphs never happened. That would be crazy wouldn't it? How outrageous.

Thinking about Mutual Benefit

2010-08-29T12:15:00.001-04:00

As an Economist and as an Observant Jew I would like to believe in the idea of acting and thinking for mutual benefit. As an Economist I would like the principle of efficient markets to be proven to be the reality in all circumstances. People negotiate and come to agreements that are good for everyone involved. As a Jewish person I like the idea that "All Jews are friends", and that doing a good deed for someone makes me better off for having done the deed and him better off for having been the recipient. The problem is that I am too much of a pessimist/realist to accept the principle of mutual benefit throughout all of my human interactions.

Ever since the dawn of time, and just after Adam was thrown out of the Garden of Eden, there has existed the concept of scarcity. People's wants exceed the world's ability to fulfill them. The tree of knowledge ironically took away certainty, leaving in its place a hunger and desire for something man will never place his hands on. Humanity will forever want more and will never be satisfied.

In the forth chapter of the book of Avos it says, "Q.Who is considered wealthy? A. One who is satisfied with his lot." In a world of scarcity, where no one is satisfied with their lot in life, how can anyone be considered wealthy? Wealth in modern terms is not defined as internal happiness, it is defined in comparative terms. How much do I have in relation to the people in which I consider my peer group?

With a definition of wealth determined in comparative terms, how is it ever possible to think in terms of mutual benefit? By thinking of making someone else better off, a person is already lowering their own standings in terms of that person. One man's garbage is another man's gold. But by taking that person's garbage, I am now a recipient of another man's garbage, a person of lower social standing.

Yes, this conceptualization is very childish.As with most childish rejections of tried and true principles there is an easy answer, a hard answer, and a real answer. But all three answers question underling assumptions

The easy answer: Human nature is not such that people's happiness is dependent on other people's property.
Rejection: Where do you think the idea of keeping up with the Joneses came from?

The hard answer: There is no such thing as mutual benefit.
Rejection: The theory of comparative advantage makes it abundantly clear that when it comes to material production and consumption certain people have there own unique strengths within themselves. When people do what they are strong at, and trade with people who are strong at doing something else, more gets created and everyone is made better off.

The Real Answer: It really depends on who you are dealing with, what kind of relationship you have with the other person, and your own personal motivations. There is no guaranteed pill for happiness. So long as God gives us eyes to see, ears to hear, and the rest of the senses to do what they do, we will continue to gather new information about the real world and continue to want new things. If our want for those things has no social aspect attached in terms of status symbols, mutual benefit is possible. However, once social relationships enter into the game, it all depends on the little status games we all play.

Rejection: Learn Mussar, read Covey, and get out of the rat race. Why would you want to be a rat anyway? There is plenty of kosher cheese on sale at Costco in nice bulk 2lb bags.

Speaking of cheese. Stay tuned for my next post where I discuss the battle of the bulge and the bulge's secret weapon against me. (Hint: It's Cheese.)

The Folly of Universal Literacy- Bookcases!

2010-08-22T03:32:00.001-04:00

I can't say when it was that I first began enjoying reading. Perhaps I grabbed Dr. Spock when I was a baby to tell my parents what they were doing wrong. It could be when I picked up my first Star Wars book, unsatisfied with the way the movie ended. However, the thing I think that really got me into reading, and books in general, was my mother bringing me to the library at a young age for "Story Time", my father ordering hooked on phonics for me when I was 1st or 2nd Grade, and the fact that there were actual bookcases in the house growing up filled with books.

Can you guess how many actual bookcases are sold in furniture store in this day and age? If you are lucky you might find a "Media Center/TV cabinet" that can double as a bookcase. If you know where to look you will find particle board bookcases that will fall apart and chip in a few years in the back of the office furniture stores. Perhaps it has to do with the tree-huggers protecting the trees; they hug the trees and suppress the supply of quality wood going to bookcase production. I don't think this is the case. I think the reason is that where once the showcase of a living-room might have been a bookcase, today the showcase of everyday living-room is everything else besides books.

Why should the government spend so much money trying to make sure everyone knows how to read when they won't use the skills they gain by actually reading, treasuring each word as something worthy of placing on a true honest to goodness quality bookshelf?

Before people learn to read we must give them the vessels to hold that knowledge. My promise to you, if I am elected to any public office with an expense account, I will spend every penny in purchasing every one of my constituents quality hardwood bookcases.

Questions for further study: What should my policy be when someone fills their bookcases and wants to continue buying more books? Do I burn the old books to refill the bookcase with new books? How many books can a person own before the knowledge police arrest the person for overcrowding? Who do we thank for the gift of literacy when all it leads to is absurd self referential blog posts, middle management gratifying office memos, and properly spelled Chinese Food menus.

3:30 AM is nighttime, but it's morning too. How do you do, it's 3:32

You want a job in this economy?

2010-08-16T22:46:00.000-04:00

To whom it may concern,

I saw your ad in the newspaper the other day and I have decided to apply for the position. I understand I may not be the most qualified. I understand that there may be many other qualified applicants who may do the job better than me. However, in my own head, I feel that I am the best person for the job.

I want money. It is plain and simple. I need some cash right now to support an alcohol/drug addiction. In order for me to remain off the streets and away from begging I need some sort of employment to pay for my habits. You, as a hiring manager for a great company, need people to sit behind a desk from 9 in the morning to 5 in the afternoon. I think I fit the job description perfectly. I can sit behind a desk for a few hours out of the day. So long as I can keep my bottle in the bottom drawer I have no problems.

I understand you are a very busy man. So I will not waste your time by having you call me. I will be following up this wonderful letter with a stop at your company headquarters were I will interrupting the work of all the employees until you sign a contract for employment. However, if you wish to reach me before I get there, I can be reached at 212-555-1234.

Yours truly,

Your insane future employee

:-)

Instant gratification in "The oldern times" and in the newer times

2010-08-10T03:19:00.000-04:00

How do you get entertained? Do you go to the arena and watch people fight to the death? Do you roam the halls of Dionysus looking for the next high on life? Perhaps you lounge around looking good just to make all your neighbors and friends jealous?

If you answered "Yes" to any of these questions you have been born in the wrong era. You are the product of a time long past, OR too much television.

In this day and age all people want is instant gratification. People are not happy working hard to get something in the far future. We want it now. The future will never come. In my mind I wonder, were things really that different in "the olden days"? Have people's natures been so shaped by the internet, or has the need for "now, now, now" been there all along?

Having no formal training, and doing no research at all, I would like to propose a theory. People's natures have not changed. There has always been a need for instant gratification. The only difference between today and yesterday is that today people can actually make instant gratification a reality instead of some sort of fantasy to be had in the far future.

2000 years ago the Roman's enjoyed their fights. Today we enjoy our football games. Then there was blood sport, today there is horror on TV. There is almost an endless parallel between today and yesterday when it comes to people serving their baser natures. The only real change is that we have become cowards. Instead of embracing the reality of life, that the actions that we do, see, and influence have meaning, we have hidden behind the mask of the actor. Our instant gratification came at the expense of our authenticity.

Have you ever watched a baby whining for food? Does it ask polity and wait to be served? I think not. The baby demands to be served, it screams out until there is some food within it's grasp. It is only after being conditioned by society that the child learns that things don't happen instantly. People's feelings are involved, in order to get something done faster someone has to actually work faster.

In the times when human rights were not something that people took seriously people's feelings were neglidgable next to the outcome of getting what you wanted. So long as you could pay, you could do whatever it is you want to do. Things changed when we began to be sensitive to the idea that "all are created equal" an not just land owning men. No longer could we take advantage of people just because we had power. With the change in values came a change in expectations, people no longer expected things instantly because they recognized the people behind each instant.

With the rise of mechanization everything changed. Machines don't have feelings, and the people it takes to make them are a step away from our sensibilities. So we return to the land of instant gratification of our youth; thanks to technology we are all children once again.

The Librarian Union- The evils of the ALA

2010-08-06T04:20:00.002-04:00

How hard is it to find a book?

In today's day and age the internet is the answer to almost any question. With wonderful databases of information and catalogs that are search-able by anyone who knows how to use a search-engine, what need is there for someone to go to library school?

The answer lies with the ALA, the American Library Association. As with any monopolistic endeavor the ALA has created standards that must be adhered to if anyone should want to help patrons find something they could find on there own with Google. They have concocted all sorts of Master's Degrees to prohibit any person with a brain from organizing books and then helping people find them without paying lots of money to them for schooling.

If anyone has ever taken a look at the job description for a librarian they would see that there is nothing in the description that demands any form of higher education. In order to help someone find what they are looking for one does not have to know anything about the subject the person is interested in researching. Computers are experts in finding related keywords to assist people in their research. In order to organize books one doesn't have to be a genius to know that Science Fiction doesn't belong in the same section as Western. (Unless you are dealing with "Firefly.") And in order to tell people to be quiet in the library one doesn't have to go to school, one just has to be old, female, a scowl, and a mole.

The real problem is that librarians have the best jobs in the world, and it is for this reason that they are overpaid. Who wouldn't want to spend all there time playing solitaire and reading while telling all your customers to look it up themselves. Who wouldn't want to be in the business to tell people that what they want isn't available in the system 99% of the time? Who wouldn't want the chance to sit around in an air conditioned room all summer while the customers have to wait for you to open your doors to let them in? I don't imagine anyone turning down such a wonderfully cushy job.

In an effort to protect themselves from the unwashed masses taking there jobs and noising up the silence of the libraries, the librarians instituted an Association whereby the only people who can tell people to be quite in the library must get training to do so. This wonderful plan made the salaries more competitive for all the librarians and cut the budget for what people really come to the library for, Americanized versions of the Kama Sutra.

In closing, I want a job as a librarian where I can look at people strangely for their choice of reading material, sit around all day while people consult me for books that were stolen by the last patron, and where I can point to the computer and tell everyone to become computer literate and find things themselves. Why should I have to go to school to any of those things?

My Worldly Stress: Peeling away the blindfold

2010-07-04T04:43:00.001-04:00

Look at the world around you.

Take a nice close look at everything that is going on.

Look again.

All around you there are messages being projected for you to see. Everyone around you wants you to buy into something. Some people are more subtle about it, others are very blatant in their messaging, but everyone has something they want you to hear. This is the 21st Century world that we all live in.

Some people go about there lives and never see any of the messages. They surf the waves of social pressure from one world to another, believing very strongly in whatever it is that everyone else tells them to believe. They want to save the whales, clean the environment, fight the war, end the war, support the troops, demand some change, and drink the beer that is most heavily advertised.

Other people are contrarians.They do the opposite of whatever everyone else is doing. What the group is doing they have to be doing the opposite. They are the people that still stand by their bigotry when everyone else has embraced diversity. They are the people who insist on spelling words wrong no matter how many times their teachers show them the "right" way to spell. They are the people who think the world is crazy, but know that it is the world that thinks they are a little out there.

Then there is Me. I can't sleep. I toss and turn at night. I neither accept the accepted wisdom, nor do I reject it out of hand. I see the world for what it truly is, and it really scares me more than anything else. I see the advertising behind the advertising. I instantly get the hidden message in the movie halfway through. I get the liberal agenda. I catch the conservative thickheadedness. I sort of understand the libertarian "ideals." And I see where beer commercials want me to go when I am thirsty in need off a mind slow down. I sit on my nice new couch and I can do nothing.

(After every year the first thing a student is asked to write about is their summer experience. In order to get into any new institution a person is usually asked to reflect on their experiences at their past institution and give some insight as to why that experience will help them achieve success at this new institution. The new institution I am about to enter is "Life." Having finally filled the apartment with furniture it is now time to embark on that great journey called "The daily grind." At this point I find myself in a unique (or not so unique) position, and from this position I feel like I should be reflecting on the past to demonstrate some insight that may or may not be of some use to anyone in the future.)

I am the product of a Yeshiva education. I went to a Yeshiva elementary school in Brooklyn, a Yeshiva High School in Brooklyn, and a Part-time Bais Medrash program in Brooklyn. I am for all intense and purposes a product of wonderful Rebbeim and teachers. Yet, all of you have been reading what I have put on this website for the past almost three years might be somewhat surprised about this. How can someone who calls himself "A Yeshiva Guy" write thing so blatantly blasphemous at times? (You may not have this question, however there are many questions along the same lines that you might be asking at this point.)

The simple answer to this question is that I did not attend Touro College.

Instead of going to the 'O so holy' monument of sub-par Private education, I went to the 'O so unholy' institution of sub-par public education, Brooklyn College. And If I would to write an essay at this very moment on what I learned from my years at Yeshiva plus my years in college it could be summed up in one sentence."I learned Nothing."

Torah Umadda is Bullshit. There is no synthesis. Torah drags down the study of the world. Worldly studies drag down the study of Torah. The scientific method clashes with the 13 middos of R' Yishmael. Modern Psycology clashes with the idea of Yetzer Tov and Yetzer Ha'ra. The ideals of western democracy are like oil and vinegar when it comes to comparing them with Torah values. Art is full of pictures of naked women. Economics is the science of desire. The study of religion is where academics piss on anything having to do with the G dash D.

The fact that I have learned about "the nothing" from my combined college-yeshiva education has allowed me to peel away the nothing that is all around the world. It is only when coming face to face with inherent contradictions that a person can realize that there are contradictions to be found all around. It allows a person to see the inherent inconsistencies in people's value systems, the assumptions that are left unsaid in people's blatant lies, as well as the absurdity surrounding all of us.

I look at the various opinions of different people on various subjects and instead of seeing a giant tapestry of possible truths, I see no one having any greater claim on the truth than anyone else. Instead of seeing the wonderful world in the synthesized modern orthodox pluralism, I see the giant wonderful nothing of modern existential orthodox relativism. Instead of looking at the world in shades of gray, I see a patchwork of possible black and whites.

Looking at the world, all I can do is laugh. Everyone has opinions that all have equal merit. Everyone has theories that are equally untrue. And I sit in the darkness; disillusioned; wandering; wondering if I'll ever find my Absolute.

Forest Green, Ocean Blue

2010-06-20T15:06:00.000-04:00

This past week my wife and I decided to buy two parakeets. Of course the decision was not without much deliberation.

"Should we get a bird?"
"Can we?"
"Why not?"
"Ok."

We bought a cool looking teal budgie, a cage, some toys, and of course some food. We called him Ocean Blue.

When we got home we noticed that the bird was not very happy. He wasn't chirping, and he just stood in the corner of his cage saying the same thing over and over again. "Why me? Why me? Why me?"

We decided to be good pet owners and buy our poor bird a cell mate. We went back to the store to get another bird. I picked out this nice green one that seemed to be the "top dog" on the top perch. We called him Forest Green.

It was fun watching the store employee try to catch that specific bird in his net. Top dog birds don't give up without a fight.

Now we have two birds, and they both chirp nicely.

The End

The Globe, the Bullet, and the Internet Router

2010-06-16T15:14:00.000-04:00

What fills your life, makes your life worth living, helps you get up in the morning? What fills your living-room, makes things aesthetically pleasing, helps you trip over things every morning?

You probably get out of bed at some time during the day. You probably stretch and say some thanks to God, if you happen to be feeling thankful on that cloudy overcast day. You probably turn over and go back to sleep for a few more minutes of blissful nonexistence. You are a person without a fire in your belly. You are a person contented.

You probably get up at the crack of dawn. You rush to pray and thank God for another day. Grabbing a granola bar, you rush to catch the train and get to work. Possessed with getting something you have never seen, trusting that it will be there when you find it, knowing that you possibly will fail at every turn, what kind of person do you make? You are the discontented. Always searching for something that isn't there.

Is your living-room filled with things you thought were the answer to life's questions? Are there books lining the shelves that you think define who you are? Does the magazine rack get covered every month with new issues of whatever you find interesting? Is there pictures of your parents, children, and other relatives all on display? Perhaps there are just random objects you picked up thinking that they define who you are. Or perhaps you live in an empty room, devoid of all aesthetics.

You exist, of that there is no doubt. You exist because this is the only thing that you know. But what of everything else in the world, of that you are not sure. Do you fill your life with randomness in order to feel contentment, or do you leave the room empty knowing that the search is not yet through? Beyond the knowledge of your own existence the search is never through.Beyond the knowledge of your own existence the search can be over in the blink of an eye. The choice is always there; get up and search, sit in deep contentment.

What if is was just an "Act of God"? The BP disaster

2010-06-15T11:54:00.002-04:00

Everyone loves to point fingers whenever there is some sort of disaster. As humans we feel that there should always be someone to take the blame when something goes wrong. However, the fact remains that all the best laid plans are like putty in the hands of The Almighty. A person can plan for all contingencies and still have something go wrong. At this point we don't know if BP was negligent, but what in fact would be considered negligence? Who in this world can predict all the outcomes that a person's actions might cause? Even if one would predict the outcome to be undesirable, who is to say something can be done differently? If something would have been done differently, who is to say things wouldn't have turned out the same way anyway?

In a recent BBC news article the author discusses how BP could have taken some steps in the construction of the well that were not taken because of timeliness and costliness. A subcontractor, with it's own self interest, suggested that there be more supports down the bore of the well. BP rejected this suggestion out of concern for time and money. However, nothing is saying that the disaster would have been avoided had the extra supports been put in place. The oil-rig exploded in fire, what destroyed 6 supports could easily have taken out 21 supports. Nothing proves that spending a few extra hours and dollars would have prevented the explosion and the spill.

What can you do?

At this point the only question is penalty. You can't ask God to pay for this anymore than you can ask God to pay for all the other natural disasters in the world. God is responsible for everything, but also responsible for nothing. God will never stand trial in a human court. This leaves us looking for someone human, or at least corporation, to blame for what happened. Someone must pay!

Is it logical for people to point fingers and place blame for a mistake that was possible unpreventable? What does logic have to do with a pelican covered in oil-slick? Because no matter how logical something may sound, when it comes to living breathing human-beings, logic seems so illogical.

It's been a while, but I'm still here (as long as here isn't NY)

2010-06-09T14:59:00.000-04:00

Do we ever really grow up? Do we ever truly become adults? At this point I have no idea. I've been married since February and I still feel like a big kid. Does it have something to do with my own deficit spending? The United States is much older than me and she does nothing but deficit spend these days. All I hear is increased borrowing on the funds of the future generations. Does the fact that the United States is not acting responsibly make her a child? Does the fact that I too am spending more than I am taking in at the moment make me a child?

My blog name is still Child Ish Behavior. I am an adult that like many others can't really wrap my mind around the idea that I am an adult. Just the other day I was sitting in my parent's basement with out a care in the world besides getting "A"s on my college courses. Now I have a wife, an apartment, and subscriptions to various newspapers. The one I am most surprised about is the fact that the newspaper I get the most often is "The Miami Herald."Good God, I'm living in Miami!

If you would have asked me a while ago if I thought I'd be ending up living in Miami I would have looked at you like you were crazy. ME? Miami? You have got to be kidding. I would have given all the reasons people give for moving away from the home town they grew up in. I would give you the many reasons why Brooklyn is the best place in the world. I would even tell you all about the horrible nature of living in a climate that is prone to hurricanes and high heat. So it boggles my mind to be writing this today. Still feeling like a kid, sitting in a reclining chair in my own living-room, my wife napping in the other room; I am truly living in Miami for the foreseeable future.

I'm going to make myself a smoothie! Smoothie!

Thank You Card Blues

2010-04-09T09:16:00.003-04:00

"What's with those ingrates? It's been almost two months and still no "Thank You" card. What are they so busy doing that they can't write a decent "Thank You" to all the people that gave them gifts. The least they could do is write me a thank you, I did give them a check for 18 dollars."

Yes. I know. You have a very valid point. We should be working on Thank You cards at this point. The truth of the matter is that Thank You cards are just one of those things, you know? It's not like we are ungrateful, we really appreciate all the gifts that were given to us. The fact of the matter is that it seems very daunting, the prospect of writing so many cards over and over and over again. It just seems so so so like knocking my head against the wall.

Thank You

Thank You

Thank You

appreciation
appreciation
appreciation

For my Bar Mitzvah I had my parents standing over me making sure they eventually got done. Now though, both me and my wife fell the same way; OY Vey, so many cards to write.

I called my parents the other day, and they were so full of helpful advice, " Just do a few cards a day, eventually you guys will get it done."

MMMMM.... Does anyone know a marketing company that specializes in personal thank you cards. I wonder if such a service would cost more than all the gifts?

O'Mama ends freedom of Speech

2010-03-25T00:21:00.002-04:00

In unprecedented legislation persident o'mama has signed in an executive order that repeals the first amendment of the constitution. Many people all over the country are up in arms.

"This is worst that Nationalized medicine,"said one man just before he was locked up for subversive speech.

Many people, including myself, fear for our lives in the current national climate. The freedoms that we all once took for granted have been robbed from us by this new legislation. Some even ask themselves if the cost of the government is worth the benefits.

"Is the cost of the government worth the benefits," asked one man just before he was locked up for subversive questioning of the government.

The Persident issued this statement in responce to the rise in the American prison population. "If only they would all behave, we wouldn't have these problems. People have to pay the price for their unwillingness to follow the rules I created."

"As a former mama supporter, I fully supported the persident's call to action when he said we all have to give up some to make the rest happier with their lives. I even understood the legislation that allowed the police to randomly search for drugs in people's medicine cabinets. But this new legistlation has gone too far...", written just before I was locked up for subversive writing against the government.

Time's last Laugh

2010-03-15T01:24:00.001-04:00

It is hard to understand Sir Clock. With it's hands waving around in circles all day it is no wonder time never stands still. Why won't he realize that there are voyeurs watching his every move, the implications of which change their lives? Why won't he stare at the sky and command the sun and the moon to stop their silly dance with the stars? And why won't he once give into the temptation of a few steps backward? O, just a few steps...

But I understand Sir Clock. He knows his place in the order of things. He knows his job is to move until the batteries keeping him going run their course. His job is to wave his hands at the world in such a way as to say, “Keep it up, your doing great. Just a few more minutes and you'll be there. All you've got to do is be persistent.”

Then someone does the silly thing of playing with Time. They change around the clock at their own whim, for their own convenience. Wanting to steal back Time from it's master, they play with his dials two times a year. They pretend all is the same when they wake up t, but Time is not fooled. He and his brother Clock know what's up. They know the score. The sleep lost and the sleep gained will forever be disappearing in the shuffle.

I watch the dance of the clock. I play with the 10 o'clock smile. It will be ok, I mouth in a silent voice. The 8 o'clock frown will never find a place on my face. Just because my mind has been played with by the loss of consistency doesn't mean I've truly lost out on the mystery.

I just hear a thinking Sir Clock.

Tick, Tock. Tick, Tock.

Lessons learned by the Married Man

2010-03-10T08:46:00.001-05:00

Yes. I can finally start giving out sagely advice. Finally I am a married man.

O, what wisdom the title of Tallis Wearer brings.

Ok, So I'm a little full of it. I still have not achieved the wisdom of the ages that I expected to get when standing under the chuppah. However, I have gotten close.

Here are some of the wonderful things I have discovered just by wearing the mantle of husband.

It's not all fun and games
- Even if she does wash the dishes most of the time, I still have have to dry them before they end up in the cabinet.
- There are all sorts of financial things to worry about. Like earning a living(O, the horror.), getting inexpensive car insurance (I know, switch to Gieco and save 15% or more), and paying rent (who knew I couldn't live in my parent's basement forever?).
- Long hair in the shower (need I say more?).
A Tallis is Cool.
- It's very hot under the Talis. Just imagine an extra layer of wool over your suit and a hood over your head. Then imagine sitting with that on for three hours straight. That is the Tallis experience.
- On the other hand, my wonderful wife did get me the coolest Atarah in the world, Five layers of silver links on black velvet. It only works in Young Israel were everyone wears something different. In the garden variety shtieble it stands out like Moses on 13^th Ave. Very Cool.
I am less self conscious about my self image.
- So long as the one person that counts doesn't mind, it is all good.
- This goes for wearing a Tallis that stands out a little to many other little things.
- I feel like I can be more of myself, rather than less of myself now that I am married. (Who knows, I hear from everyone else that this is bound to change. Maybe I should give it some more time ;)
When I discover more things I am sure to write another post, making that a part II, until then...

Getting Married; Making a living: B'Yad Hashem

2010-02-18T11:51:00.000-05:00

This Motzai Shabbos I shall be flying on a plane to Florida. On Monday night I will be married. Just the thought makes me smile from ear to ear. Some people might think that I am living in LaLa Land, but I don't care. I am extremely happy. And why shouldn't I be?

So many people search their entire lives to find the perfect one never to find the one they are looking for. I never searched and I found the perfect one for me. She is caring, devoted to what she believes in, makes me smile when she walks in the room. She lifts my spirits, giving me confidence to know that anything is possible. Her interests parallel my own in so many ways; my economics to her psychology, her fantasy to my SciFi, her answers to my questions. O how grateful am I to God for sitting up in heaven doing the job of the mythical cupid.

At the same time I am extremely happy I am also extremely on edge. Marriage is a responsibility. It's not just fun and games, it's not just happily ever after. For my whole life I have lived at home on my parents' dime. They have fed me, clothed me, and made sure I was never lacking. Now it is my responsibility to not only stand on my own two feet by paying rent, and buying my own food, I also have to make sure that the perfect one for me is never lacking. I work on commission and a steady salary is not something that is guaranteed by any company. I know that I am not alone in the world, that it all doesn't really rest on my shoulders, but...

Why is it that I am able to thank God for helping me find my zivug, but I have so much trouble trusting in him when it comes to making a living? I guess it's easier to thank after the fact than it is to trust that everything will work out well in the end.

Because, Why?

2010-02-17T22:01:00.003-05:00

"That's the way it is."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because, Why?"

Have you ever thought that the little kid is the one in the right? The questions can technically go on forever, and it is only as adults that we have given up asking. Perhaps the reason we have given up asking is because we have found satisfactory answers, perhaps we have all just gotten to lazy to care one way or another.

Perhaps the reason we have stopped asking is because there is no definitive answer out there to find. Everyone has an answer that works for them, that helps them get out of bed in the morning, and that is all that's necessary.

Personally, I'm still asking.

"Why?"

Givers and Takers

2010-02-17T00:07:00.002-05:00

In this world there are two types of people. There are givers, and there are takers. The givers are respected for all they give, and the takers are looked down on for all that they take. The takers must like what they are getting more than they care about public opinion.

Judge God?

2010-02-16T22:59:00.002-05:00

Question: What always happens when a product gets put on the market that causes possible harm to certain individuals in the long run?

Answer: A class action lawsuit.

On the day of judgment, who will be judged?

Will we be judged for sinning, or will God be judged for giving us the choice in the first place?

I wonder what a class action lawsuit against God would look like. All the people in Hell would get together one Shabbos, the day they get to rest from all that hot coals, and they would come before God.

"God," they would say. "I know we have been very bad. We lied, cheated, and ate without a blessing. But it all seemed like a good idea at the time. I mean, you did allow us to do all those things."

They would probably hand this all in written on the back of a nice scroll. God would then read the legal document, scan it up and down, and hand it off to some angel or another.

"I understand you are troubled my sinful creations. I'd probably be troubled too if I was in your situation." God would probably reply. "However, the fact remains, I'm God. Deal with it."

"But, but, but...." the tortured spirits would cry out, as they are shuffled away back to what seemed like endless suffering for another 6 days.

The question really is, cost-benefit wise, is the reward in Heaven promised to the Good doers worth the suffering the the sinners get in Hell.

God must have thought so, or he wouldn't have put the drug called LIFE on the market.

Say No To Drugs?

;-)

Never be a failure

2010-02-11T10:37:00.006-05:00

How is success measured? Is it measured with a measuring cup? Perhaps a measuring spoon that holds exactly a tablespoon? Does it have a length to be measured by a ruler?

There are people all over the world that pose various measures for calculating what is and what is not success. They have wonderful catch phrases that sum up all it means to be successful in life. I have one question. Is it true? Is there really a true barometer to measure success?

Most people I know would look at a fellow wallowing in his own vomit on the side of the street as unsuccessful. The person has lost all his dignity as a human being, and for the most part has lost everyone's respect. However, this is not the end of the story. The real end of the story is when the man gets up the next morning, runs home, puts on his suit, and goes to his well paying executive job. A whole new picture has formed. Is this man a bum on the street, unsuccessful for his wollowing in his own excresions, or is he a success because he has a nice high paying job to go to in the morning?

Cutting to the chase- It is my belief that there is no clear measurment for success. Success is, and always will be, an internal sense of self worth. Do you believe you have made it in the world? If so, you have made it. Do you believe yourself to be a failure? You are a failure.

In sales they tell you that if you are hitting your goals you should raise your expectations and get higher goals. To them success has an absolute measure, it means the amount of dollars you bring into the company's coffers. When they see that you have been hitting your numbers, that means that you have been under achieving. You should look higher. If they see you have not made your numbers, you have failed because you did not succeed at what you set out to accomplish. The truth of the matter is, if your measure of success is not determined in the objective world you can never be considered a failure.

Instead of constantly looking to others, to money, to fame, to fortune to determine if you are successful, look inward, look to your own intrinsic self worth, and you will never fail. You are created in the image of God. Even if God would require a few plasic surgeries before he would ever want to look like you, you should always see yourself as a success.

Guide to Speeches

2010-02-06T22:24:00.004-05:00

There is one rule a person must follow when giving a speech. That rule is, Know your audience. If you are speaking to a bunch of teenagers, make it a quicky. Kids have short attention spans and will not listen past the two minute mark. If you are talking to mature adults, make it a fast speech. Mature people have places to go and people to see, by not getting to the point very fast you will end up losing them. When speaking to older people, make the speech long and drawn out. Older people tend to be a little slower when it comes to mental comprehension, the slower you speak the more likely it is that they will understand what you are talking about. If you are speaking to a mixed crowd you are in for a little trouble, and that requires a whole other paragraph to describe what to do in such a situation. One simple sentence will not do for something as complex as a crowd full of people of different ages.

When speaking to a crowd of people in different age groups make sure to have an open door policy. Allow people to come and go as they please. Make the point very quickly in the first few sentences, and reiterate the point over and over ad nauseum until everyone has either nodded their heads or walked out. This way you will have reached every demographic in the audience.

To conclude, when speaking to a crowd of people, do not push your own agenda. People resent the condescension of others. It is important to understand who you are talking to and spread just the right amount of condescension on the surface so as to seep into the cracks of all the listeners.

Have a Great Week, and may you have to merit of doing O so many great things

........

Such A Character

2010-02-01T00:28:00.005-05:00

He greeted me enthusiastically with a greeting that I recognized immediately as one belonging to a fellow salesman. There was something he wanted to get off his chest in exchange for some of my hard earned cash. I could smell the stench of false courage on his breath as if he had just had one drink to fortify his resolve.

"How you doing?" he said, in that voice that could only have come from the ghetto. He seemed very slick, born of the streets.

The rest of the people in the store continued the conversations that were already going on. One of the other people in the store, a friend of mine, asked the liquor breathed man what he was doing with himself to make ends meat.

"I work for the parks department, but before I was a street pharmacist," he relied, in the same tone of voice he had been using all along, a tone of voice too loud for regular everyday speech.

I laughed.

The guy had just admitted to being a drug dealer. This was Downtown Brooklyn after all, and was to be expected, but still... You don't expect someone to flat out admit to their illegal activities. I could have been a Kippah wearing member of the secret police listening to catch on to some deeply suspicious information.

"So what are you selling now?" I asked him in an amused sounding voice. It's not everyday I come into contact with someone from the underworld. (-;

He pulls out of his pocket a Blackberry and proceeds to offer it for sale to everyone in the Bodega. He starts extolling it's praises, though he probably ripped it off of some poor fellow who was still looking for it even now.

Everyone in the store, including myself, turned him down on his generous offer. None of us were interested in a Verizon cellphone without any Simcard, and a suspicious history to boot.

Exit stage left.

My friend and I leave the store, a smile plastered all over my face. I suppose all it takes is a shot of liquid courage and anything is possible.

The Choice is the Ticket

2010-01-27T21:46:00.003-05:00

Many people believe that they are stuck in a particular situation. They can't seem to find a way out. The reality is that there is always a way out, if only you are willing to accept the consequences.

This past weekend I went to Florida to see my fiance, MAK. Long distance engagements are torture even with email, chat, phone, and skype. I had bought my tickets a few weeks in advance on the cheapest airline taking the skies, Spirit Air. Everything was set to bring a smile to my face and remove the gloom that had been clouding my existence ever since she left to go back home after the vort.

I get to the gate, after having an easy time going through security, only to find that the flight which was supposed to leave at 1:30 was now delayed till 4:30. It was then 12:00 and I was looking at a few hour delay sitting in the airport.

Deciding to do something about it, I go out of the terminal and look at the departing flights on the board. It seems that there was another flight leaving for Florida at 1:30, Jet Blue and on-time.

I went to the ticket window, and after a little back and forth in my head, I spent the extra $340 dollars to get to Florida exactly when I was expected.

MAK was very happy to see me. We had a great weekend. And it all started with a choice, the choice not to let circumstances get in the way of a perfect vision.

Doubting my Self Interest in a Sales Career

2010-01-13T13:36:00.005-05:00

After working for a political campaign for a couple of months, and getting frustrated by not being able to solve anyone's problems, I decided to leave politics and go into insurance. In insurance sales at least, I'd be able to give someone something they need and solve some potential problems. The problem is that all the work I do is commission based. The only way I get paid is if I sell someone a financial product. Now the certainty of not helping anyone at all by being part of a campaign is replaced with doubt. Am I really trying to help someone, or am I just trying to make the sale?

The company I work for says that everyone needs the products that they offer. Who doesn't need insurance? If something should God-forbid happen to them what will they do if they are uninsured for that event? They give specific formulas necessary for calculating how much insurance a person will need in the event something should happen, all based on how much the person earns. Like a religion they tell me what I should be doing in certain situations for different individuals. I don't buy it. There is nothing that everyone needs, there is no formula to determine how much insurance a person should have. The only way to determine what a person should buy is by letting that person make the decision on what he wants to buy. The only thing I can do is educate the person and make some educated suggestions. The problem for me is that every time I meet with someone I am torn; who am I making the suggestions for? I know that at the end of the day; the bigger the sale, the bigger the commission.

What ends up happening is that in order to balance out what I see as my own self interest I end up going into Professor mode. I educate the person with so much information that they end up not wanting to make a decision. I end up just confusing people. I end up not closing the sale that the person would have potentially made to help out their own situation.

Political campaigning helps no one; politicians never follow through. Sales has the potential to make someone better off by giving them what they want.The big question I ask myself, is the doubt fueled by an internal sense of honesty, or is it cowardice? How do I get past the feeling of doubt?

Check out the new header, or I'm still blogging

2010-01-07T21:03:00.004-05:00

It has been a while since I have done any serious blogging. Some might even say that I have given up the hobby altogether. Not to fear, this is not the case. I have not given up blogging. I have just been searching for a good follow up post to the “I am engaged to be married to the 1:100000000000000000 girl in the world” post. It is hard to go from the “I'm engaged” high back to the mundane posts on silly nonsense.

Instead of going back to writing about whatever it is that I was writing about before, I am now going to write about whatever it is that I am going to write about now. I have no idea what it is I was writing before, now though I have some idea of what I am going to be writing about.

I'm going to write a love story. I'm going to write my own love story.

Since a picture is worth 1000 words, just take a look at the header. I had it made with MAK in mind.

Eshes Chayil to The Power of Vi'ahavta

2009-12-31T15:55:00.004-05:00

To the tune of "Don't walk in front of me...In the way of Hashem"

Don't walk in front of me
I can't open the door for you.

Don't walk behind me
you can't hear what I say.

Just walk beside me
and be my wife.

Together we'll build
a Bais Neman-BiYisroel.

Eshes chayil mi yimtza
v'rachok mip'ninim michrah
Batach bah lev ba'lah
v'shalal lo yechsar

Dedicated to the person that puts a smile on my face when I look into her eyes.

I'm a Chasson, MAK's a Kallah

2009-12-17T00:15:00.003-05:00

I have fallen in love. She is the most beautiful girl I have ever known. Her presence shines on me as we laugh at each others jokes. Her attention when she listens to what I say, mine when I listen to her. The understanding when I'm feeling low, and the smile to bring me up again; it's all in one person.

Every time I see her I smile, and not some cliched smile, a true genuine smile of joy. The time flies by when I'm with her, in a blink of an eye. Where has all the time gone? I want more, to spend it all on her.

It's not a tragic love, a remorseful love, or a pitying love. It's the love at the end of the movie where the couple lives happily ever after. It's the love of a kiss that never ends, of joy everlasting. Love, like the love of all the “I love You”s at the end of every conversation rolled into one. It's the love that all the precious stones were made to express, but just fall short.

The love I feel for her is like nothing I have ever felt before. I want to do things for her, to make her happy, to give of myself to her. It's something I have never felt before, and it boggles my mind. This love is not cheap. It is not something that goes away after a few days, not something that waxes and wains like the moon.

How can I say, “I love you.” the overused expression,how I feel, just doesn't it do justice? Can I offer more?

Written before going down to Florida to propose.

I asked MAK to marry me, and she said "Yes." The smile has not left my face.

How to make it Big in this world

2009-12-06T21:05:00.001-05:00

There is a way to the top of the world. I have heard that it takes hard work. I have heard that it takes perseverance. I have heard it takes guts. I have heard lots of rumors. The truth is that all it really takes is an elevator.

My friends, many people will try to sell you on the idea that you have to work hard to make something of yourself. I am hear to tell you that they are all full of it. All it really takes to get successful is luck. Luck is that good old fashioned thing that some people are born with that makes them great, while someone born without it will remain a loser for the rest of his life. The best way to ensure success on this world is by changing your last name to something famous and then capitalizing on it.

Take me for example, I changed my name to Child Ish Baron Rothschild Rockefeller. I have been getting business offers by the thousands. Everyone from the Prices of Nigeria to the Kingpins of South Central have been after me to do business. Now imagine what such a name change can do for you. You can go from just a run of the mill blogger to someone Barach Hanosain Obama would want to take a bow to. Go, give it a try. What have you got to lose? You aren't making that much of yourself as it is.

A friend of mine decided to take me up on my great advice. He is now living the high life with a few trademark infringements to his name. Apparently, Macy's McDonald Burger King was a trademarked name before he decided to use it. So fellows, if you are going to follow this wonderful advice to bigup yourself from the low low places of the earth you have got to come up with a name that has not been trademarked yet. Perhaps a name like Elvis Presley would do the trick. He just died on the toilet in his own excrement. There is no reason you couldn't make that one work for you.

Get a Job?

2009-12-03T22:12:00.004-05:00

Sometimes I wonder...

Choice 1: Work Hard. Get to UpperMiddleClassdom. House=mortgage. E.arnings=Taxes. Job= work.

Choice 2: Don't work Hard. Get to BottomLowerClassdom. House=Projects. Earnings=Welfare. Job= ?

Sometimes I wonder why anyone chooses to work. Sometimes I wonder why this county is in such bad shape.

It seem too many have chosen choice 2

Why worry about Philosophy when you can work?

2009-11-24T19:40:00.007-05:00

Today, or perhaps yesterday, I had a revelation. Isn't it funny that the only people who have time to philosophize about life don't earn an honest living? The only people with enough free time on their hands to tell the world how it really is are those people without real jobs. The professors, the Rebbeim, the bums, and the extremely unmotivated wealthy are the people found to be doing the most philosophizing.

Take me for example, the more I have real work to do the less I find myself thinking about "the meaning of life." It's people without jobs to go to that find themselves always thinking about "deep" things like the color of a sound-wave or the smell of God. People with places to go and people to see don't usually have enough time to think about "reality." They are all too busy living.

I recently started a new career as an agent for an insurance company. I spend all my day doing things. I have to make appointments, meet new people, learn product knowledge, follow up on cases, and develop a longterm marketing plan. I don't have time to think about why God decided to create the world, the existence of demons, or the reason for being. All I know is that I have to do what I have to do. There is no dichotomy between faith and work; if I don't work I don't get paid. It really is that simple.

In school I had lots of free time on my hands. I was able to sit around and ponder all the most nonsensical things. Now I find myself looking at my brother who is in the same situation I was in with a sense of sorrow. He has just finished school and now looking for work, and he has lots of free time on his hands while he goes about his search. With that free time comes the "interesting thoughts" about the meaning of life, political nonsense, and the smell of God. Doesn't he realize the futility of it all? Eventually he will realize as I did that you do what you got to do and everything else is fluff.

Every so often though I fall into a dark state, a state of boredom where I can't think of anything to do, or to put it another way, a state where everything I could possibly be doing doesn't seem appealing. When this happens I philosophize and laugh away the boredom. Because what better way to get rid of melancholy than transering that melancholy onto the sorry state of the world? But doing so doesn't really solve anything. The only cure for boredom is a strong will to get back to doing something, anything, to take your mind off the fact that you didn't want to be doing anything in the first place.

The end of all things is just to get back to doing something productive, anything but philosophy. There are no happy philosophers. There are happy blue collar workers.

Sexism in the workplace- The Tie

2009-11-23T18:51:00.003-05:00

Why is it that men have to wear ties as part of formal business attire but women can get away with the most outrageous things and still be considered "formal"?

Why do men have to walk around with a noose around their necks?

A Call to Action- A New School

2009-11-21T21:47:00.003-05:00

Many people with young kids are worrying about where they will have to send their children when it comes time for Yeshiva. All the schools seem very expensive and over priced, especially with the free option of public school peeking out from behind the evil curtain winking out at you. There must be some sort of solution to this outrageous problem.

After eating at Moshe's on Friday night, hearing what he has to say, and reading Jacob's post on the subject I decided it was time for me to do some serious thinking on the subject. I might be in their shoes in a few years. There is no reason for me to wait till then to thing of a solution to "The Tuition Crisis."

The truth of the matter is that there is not a tuition crisis. The real problem is tuition, period. Why should I, a Jewish person, be forced to pay for something that the rest of the world is getting for free? It's not like we are talking about an Esrog here, something that is essentially optional that people go crazy over anyway. We are talking about something that the rest of the United States has termed a "right" for every individual. Everyone is entitled to education. If everyone is entitled to education, why should I have to pay for it just because I happen to be an orthodox Jew?

Public schooling in America is provided for by the tax-dollars of the American tax payers. The collective mind of the American people decided that schooling was something that needed to be provided for uniformly for every child, no matter what the parent's financial circumstances happen to be.

In the Jewish community there is a similar sentiment. Everyone wants their children to get a Yeshiva education, and everyone wants their neighbor's kids to likewise get a Yeshiva education. All Jews are responsible for one another, is not just a chant that has no meaning. In the Jewish community there is truly a sentiment of comrade that exists between each Jew, no matter what socioeconomic situation the person happens to be in.

There is only one problem, no Jew can agree on a uniform system of education. Every Jew wants all Jewish children to get a Jewish education, but not every Jew can agree on what that education entails. Some would like no secular education at all, others would like all secular with only a little Hebrew thrown in for cultural reasons, and then there is the whole spectrum of people in between.

What ends up happening is that people with different ideologies end up opening different types of schools. These schools then end up being funded based not on how well a job they do in educating the students, but based on how well off the people with that specific ideology happen to be doing financially.

The people with the Kollel mindset will end up with schools that are underfunded, teachers who are underpaid, and student being taught at a sub-par level. The people in Kollel are unable to pay and are charged very little; the people who earn a living are forced to pay a much higher tuition to make up the shortfall for all the parents who are not working.

The people with the working mindset will open up a school that caters to their ideals. They will have an secular department that is above-par, students will be prepared to go to college, however the traditional Jewish part of the education will leave much to be desired. Kollel people who sit and learn will not want to send their children to these places, even if they wanted to they would not be able to afford it. The cost of the education would be very high as well since all the parents have the ability to pay.

The solution to the cost problem is to have a Jewish public school system. Funded on a progressive taxbracket basis where the most rich pay the most and the poorest pay the least. There will not be arbitrary tuitions based on selective circumstances. Everyone will pay on an ability to pay basis. Parents will get the choice to send their children to any school of their choice based on their ideology. The schools will be funded based on size, standardized test scores, parent/student satisfaction measured by survey and frequency of student transfers. All teachers must be certified and have their background checked.

Obviously this is a preliminary idea, but an idea that solves many problems never the less. What do you all think? Will it work?

The Yeshiva Dinner

2009-11-15T21:42:00.005-05:00

I have a stomach ache.

I don't just have any type of stomach ache. I have the stomach ache that comes from eating so much food that the body imagines there should be two stomachs for all of it. I have the stomach ache that can only come from a massive all-you-can-eat shmorg.

For those of you who have never had the privilege of going to a yeshiva dinner I have one thing to tell you. So long as the yeshiva dinner has class, and is willing to pay for a decent smorgasbord, you had better not miss it. It is worth the stomach ache, the long speeches, and every other inconvenience imaginable just to experience the food stations that seem to go on forever.

Tougue, sweetbreads, duck, steak, chicken, and any other food imaginable was available for your hearts desire. The only thing missing from the shmorg was booze and knives. I suppose they wanted people to have room for the main course and not get too full and tired for the speeches. When it came to me though, I think they failed in this goal. I left early right after the second speech.

Most of you who send your children to Yeshiva know that part of the yeshiva tuition is that you pay for a seat at the Yeshiva dinner. So many parents just don't show up even though they have already paid for a seat. Some imagine that they have something so much better to do, some just don't want to be bothered with the speeches, and still some want to figure out a way to save money by somehow getting the money reimbursed. To all three of you, I say, "think of the good stomach ache."

This year my father could not attend the Yeshiva dinner for my brother. For none of the reasons listed above, my father just couldn't go. Instead, he sent me in his place. Besides for the aforementioned "Good Stomach Ache", I really enjoyed the whole experience.

One of my goals for the next year is to get more sociable. I want to experience being one of those sociable people who can keep a conversation going on any subject. Going to a Yeshiva dinner and shmoozing with people who for all intents and purposes were not my peers was a step in the right direction in terms of that goal. The only difficulty I found was that when the plate of food ran out invariably one of us would go running to get more food, ending the conversation. Food always comes first.

The one speech that I did stay for, before my stomach called me away, was a very interesting one. It was interesting not so much for the content as for the way it was given. Instead of a Rosh Yeshiva giving a speech for the students with the goal for them to better themselves, the speech was given to the Bal Habatim with the goal to make people happy for doing what they already chose to do. It was an interesting reversal from what I, a buchur just having recently left Yeshiva, was used to. The speech was filled with commitment to Torah, not in terms of the actual learning, but in terms of appreciation for your commitment to spending money to have your children taught Torah. Amazingly though, the theme of the whole speech was one that I had written about a while back. It was all about the fact that the meaning of the mitzvos have to be inexplicable to us for them to have religious meaning; that if the mitzvos had true rational basis in our mind they would lose all religious significance. I suppose the more I move away from the realm of Yeshiva Buchur and the more I move into the realm if Bal Habus the more things will start to make sense for me.

In case you missed the point of the post; Go to the Yeshiva dinner, and go on time for the reception.

Advertisement: Go to Williamsburg

2009-11-13T15:08:00.000-05:00

Most people look at Williamsburg and think about all the people wearing the funny clothing. From the Hassidim to the hipsters, everyone is wearing something out of the ordinary. What people forget about is the great danishes that can be found in the bakeries of Lee Ave, and the great dinners that can be had at Gottlieb's on Roebling. For the food alone it is worth braving the stares of the people who look at you as if you don't belong.

The truth of the matter is that we do belong. We live in a free country. That means the freedom to walk into whatever establishment you want and get great service, no matter who you happen to be. I feel comfortable walking through the streets of Williamsburg the same way I feel comfortable walking into Porta Bella on Flatbush Ave to buy a pair of pants and a red hat. It doesn't matter that the people who they are expecting to buy at the store doesn't fit into the demographic I happen to be a part of, I still feel comfortable going there. Money is green no matter who it comes from.

Williamsburg used to be a very Jewish neighborhood, not just for the Chassidim. There were all types of Jews that used to live there. Then all the non-chassidim moved to warmer climes, to southern Brooklyn, leaving the Chassidim to keep making such delicious food without the rest of us to enjoy it. My advice to all of you out there is to move back to Williamsburg. The food's good and the drivers are just as good as the one's in Boro Park. I think you will all fit right in.

I Hate Department Stores and other remarks

2009-11-11T10:20:00.000-05:00

Can you believe what's going on now? Macy's won't accept my credit card without me giving them some ID.

I mean, I don't have no ID. I don't even drive. What do I need an ID for? But you know, Christmas is coming up and I want to get gifts for my Grandkids.

Target and Sears? Na, those stores aren't good for the disabled. There's no chairs or anything to sit down on. At least Macy's has places to sit down. And you know what, they don't need me anyway, they got so many customers buyin stuff from them.

It's not true. They need you. Don't you know that the costumer is always right. If they don't serve you right, you can go to another store. There are other stores.

You see this walker. I had another one that was really low. This one is good. Not like the other one that was hurting my back. You see all those old women walkin around with their backs bent over, that's because they all have bad walkers. The place I got this one at is out of business, but it works great. I got it custom made for me.

I work for the city. You won't believe what they caught this guy doin. He took two bereavement days. His mother died, he took four days off for bereavement. Then he got his friend at a funeral home to write another death certificate for his mother again. He didn't realize that people can't die twice.

(A conversation with a random stranger.)

Things were so much better in the oldern days

2009-11-10T23:46:00.004-05:00

In the olden days people would make tons of money. They would be able to buy pens worth 300 dollars and not have to think twice. They would purchase all the latest Jordan's in cash and buy a car with cash no questions asked. The money ran like water in the gutter, there was so much you didn't even want to spend time counting it.

In the olden days people would get high and low during the work day. They would go to Battery Park and score some dope, only coming back to work good and stoned. They would invite people over to their offices for the chance to get high, and not just to sign a business deal. The dope was so potent one sniff would send you to the moon and back, no questions asked.

Those were the good old days.

I tell ya, now a days we have to contend with all sorts of regulations on life. The police don't even have an affordable price. Still though...

Man, I could tell you stories that would blow your mind....

(A conversation with a random stranger.)

In conversation

2009-11-10T20:50:00.001-05:00

I am in conversation with the world. As I walk through life, I am in a dialogue with the world around me. I walk into a store and I am told to buy some merchandise, not by the possibly pushy salesperson, but by whatever it is itself that calls out my name demanding my attention. Walking down the street I encounter many different things calling my name, all demanding an equal part of my time, all waiting to be heard, to converse.

To converse with everything in the world is to invite madness into your heart. A person can not give his attentions to everything around them and still remain sane. Not to mention, if a person allows everything that caught his eye his full attention he would be broke pretty fast from having bought everything in the world. There can only be one going on at a time for any conversation to be meaningful.

Some people see a dog on the street and run up to pet it. Some see something shiny in a store and have to buy it. Some look an old looking thing in a shop window and have to purchase it for their living room. Still other people see God and call out to him in longing.

How many of you think I'm stoned?

The Evil Inclination; The Good intention; The no inclination

2009-11-03T00:00:00.001-05:00

Every so often the evil inclination says "Hello" to me, and every so often I answer "What's Up?" back. It's a game I play with my better half; me trying to do good, him trying to set me back. Like a schizophrenic trapped in his own head, a war all day and night, good and evil shout it out. One on one shoulder, the other on the other shoulder, each demand my attention.

One day I said to myself, "Self, what are you doing this for? Why are you letting a war go on in your own head?" So first I killed the evil, then I did away with the good. I went to sleep a happy man with the knowledge that at least I would sleep well tonight, uninterrupted by a Talmudic argument going on in my head.

My political canvessing experience

2009-11-01T21:46:00.005-05:00

Hi, my name is Child Ish. I'm with the ....... election campaign. I'm here to remind you that election day is this Tuesday at a poll station near you. And I was just wondering... Are you planning on supporting .... in this upcoming election.

(Insert Response here.)

Thanks that's great. Just remember to get out and vote.

Hi, my name is Child Ish. I'm with the ..... election campaign. I'm going around showing support for....., and I was just wondering if you have any questions or concerns you would like me to bring back to the campaign office.

(Insert Response here.)

That is truly ......, I will bring this back to the office and see what they can do for you. This is a real concern that deserves being addressed. Thank you for your time.

Hi, my name is Child Ish. I'm going out here today in support of.... In a few weeks there will be an election and ..... is hoping to count on your support. Do you like......?

Dry, Rinse, Repeat. 10,000x. Practice makes perfect.

In the past few months I have been working on an election campaign as a paid canvasser. I have gone door to door and talked to voters about their concerns, their issues, and their problems with the political system.

The experience has been very rewarding. I have gotten to meet so many new people who I will probably never see again. I have gotten to bother people when they are in middle of eating dinner. I have talked with people in all walks of life, and watched their facial expressions change from polite expectation to brow furrowing consternation in the blink of an eye. I knocked on more doors than I can count in one day. It was just so much fun all the way through.

If you were one of the lucky few who had me knocking on your door, I thank you for the great conversation and polite greetings. If you were one of the two people who slammed the door in my face, I know of a special place made just for you. If you were one of the unlucky few who happened to miss me because you had to work so late, and by the time you got home it was illegal for people to come knocking at your door, I'm sorry; you should get a more laid back job. Perhaps you would like to be a political canvasser?

Just say NO... To coffee

2009-11-01T06:16:00.002-05:00

After sleeping all Shabbos and drinking one nice tall cup of coffee at around 11 last night, I successfully, albeit unwittingly, stayed up all night. This is even with the extra hour tacked on for the removal of daylight savings time.

Moral of the story....

Eat a smaller meal Friday night so that you don't sleep so much that you get to shul so late that by the time you eat the meal Shabbos morning it is already afternoon and you are so tired afterward that you need to sleep the whole Shabbos afternoon just to get the full feeling out of your system and when you finally get up Shabbos is almost over and you need to get that Motzoai Shabbos Pizza in but you don't have the money so you borrow money from someone to get Pizza and you figure why not get a cup of coffee while your at it too and before you know it you wake up on the side of the road with a police flashlight in your eyes wondering where you were and why you couldn't move

Chas Vishalom, God Forbid, Gazuntite, Amen ViAmen, We should never know from such troubles, and May Moshiach come speedily in our days (but not so fast he needs to take a cup of coffee to get here)

It's all good, as long as it's all good

2009-11-01T02:01:00.003-05:00

Many people have all sorts of things that are important to them when it comes to how they want to live their lives. It has to be a certain way or it's not good at all. Everyone in the world who doesn't live the way they feel is the optimal way is committing some sort of sin in their eyes and is deserving of a special place in hell. In my mind this is not the case.

I take the opposite view. In my mind the objective way people choose to live there lives are unimportant and arbitrary. A person can choose to live on the street, a person can choose to take a job working every hour of the week, and a person can make all the choices in between. Each choice is viable, each choice is worthy. So long as the choice is made...

Personally my choice has been to live the life as a Jew, keeping the 613 mitzvos of Hashem. I choose to get a job to earn a living, and eventually support a family. I choose to get up every morning and thank Hashem for another day of life. However, there are many things in life that I have not made choices about. There are many things in life which shall forever remain arbitrary in my mind. So many things can go either way and I'd still be a happy man.

I read many people's writing and I listen to many people who criticize the choices that others choose to make. (Kollel, Israel, job choice, living choice, food choice....)
They give wonderful reasons why the people doing what they are doing are wrong.
The people who they complain against go home and continue doing exactly what they were doing before.
What was accomplished by the criticism?

The measure of a critique is how well it changes the situation for the better in the eyes of the person giving the critique. It is not how eloquently the argument is given over, nor is it the pure logic of the argument. It's the effect the words have on changing the situation in the right direction. In my mind though, to fight over something that I personally consider arbitrary and a personal choice and make it some sort of objective thing seems quite silly. Not only won't people change what they were doing, it really isn't even worth arguing over in the first place. The only right path is the direction that the person living the action decides upon.

Thats all for now....

Pieces in a Puzzle

2009-10-28T16:20:00.002-04:00

We are all part of the big puzzle that makes up the world. Each one of us is a small piece doing our part to either build the world up or rip it down. The problem is that for many of us there doesn't seem to be a puzzle at all, everything seems to be random chance. Others have the opposite problem, everything seems to be part of a system. There is only the complete picture with no room for the individual self.

When a person looks out in the world there is room to see whatever a person wants to see. A person can choose to see the puzzle with all it's interconnecting pieces. A person can see the picture with everything put together in its proper place. A person can also choose to see the world as a random and chaotic place devoid of meaning. The nature of the world is the ability for individuals to take hugely diverse viewpoints and still live on the same planet as human beings.

In Yeshiva we are all taught that we are pieces in the grand puzzle. We have choices that we have to make, but these choices only can be made in the perspective of the being part of the greater puzzle. There is the good inclination that demands that we behave as part of the greater whole, there is the bad inclination that demands we follow the path of our individual piece doing what we want without thought of consequence. Looking at the big picture means following the will of God, looking at the small picture means listening to Satan, and the baser instinct.

The difficulty comes when a person enters the real world, outside Yeshiva. In the real world there are so many differing opinions about right and wrong it can make a person's head hurt. There are so many different ways to look at the world that don't include the puzzle at all. Every new view a person is exposed to begs the question, is this worthy of considering a part of the big picture that makes up a person's world? Eventually, a person is exposed to so many views that the idea of one big picture that he was brought up to believe in Yeshiva becomes a parable of hot air when it comes to choosing a way of life. With so many conflicting viewpoints, how can a person maintain a consistent whole in their mind's eye?

There are a few choices.

Ignore all outside information. Pretend as if the only view that exists is the one you were brought up believing.
Accept all the outside information and forever be a person in flux, without any real concreteness. Every new bit of information will change who you are and what you think.
Maintain that the truth is always changing. With every new bit of information uncovered a better truth is discovered.

All these choices involve a perspective on the whole that a person is choosing to take into account. These are choices that start with the puzzle, and only after work toward the individual pieces. There is however another choice:

Start with the pieces and ignore the puzzle altogether.

This is what is known as the existential viewpoint. Instead of looking at the world full of conflicting views and seeking some sort of unified theory, a person looks for a singular theory that fits his own piece of the puzzle. The person doesn't look to the other pieces to find meaning in his own piece; he himself builds meaning for his own piece of the puzzle. There are many conflicting views out there in the world, but the only ones that matter are the ones that the person has made true for himself.

For the existentialist, the world can be random, or the world can be ordered. Many people have conflicting views on the subject. How does a person know what to believe? He chooses what he wants to believe. He doesn't close his mind to all new knowledge, nor does he open his mind to constant flux, nor is the absolute truth constantly changing. The person himself chooses what he wants to base his life on. He listens to new ideas, he wieghs them in his head, and he makes a choice whether to accept them as true or not. After the choice has been made, everything else is irrelevant. All that is needed is conviction, motivation, and self determination to stay on the path that the person has chosen.

We are all pieces in the great puzzle that makes up the world. Some people believe that all the pieces naturally fit together as ordained by God. Others believe that the all the pieces will never fit together because there is no God. It is the brave few that can say, "No matter what the deal with the other pieces happen to be, my piece will fit: shining bright".

I am working to become one of the brave few.

Reality after vacation

2009-10-26T23:45:00.003-04:00

I was driving for 22 hours straight with only a little break. The caffeine was pumping through my veins. The headlights from all the cars behind me were blinding me, driving me insane. I wanted to go home, but I wanted to go back at the same time. The status quo was change, and all I dreamed about was being in status quo. Is this real? Did the trip just happen? Is the wheels of the car really moving at such a tremendous speed.

I was on my way home from an amazing trip, a week away from reality, a week full of fun and adventure in a place far from home. My mind was unwilling to accept the fact that reality would soon set in. The routines that make up the everyday life that I lead did not want to start up in my head. Why did I go? Why didn't I stay on vacation forever?

I eventually got home. I got into the shower and my whole body began to shake. Frustration was the feeling of the moment. Pain was the undertone. My body and mind felt as if they had been ripped from their mountings, tossed around for a week, then placed right back in their old place. Everything was the same, everything was different. Life would never be the same again.

Motivational Speakers and Mussar Speakers: A Compare and Contrast

2009-10-26T01:00:00.000-04:00

If you have ever gone to a speech given by many of the various Rabbis in our communities you will undoubtedly notice something interesting. For the most part these speeches consist of ideas geared toward helping you in your goal of serving God. The focus is usually on doing the mitzvos the right way, on learning more Torah, on things you should be more careful in, and on all sorts of other things that are important when it comes to being an Orthodox Jew. The focus is not necessarily on a person's own self improvement, though that can be a byproduct of living a life free of internal conflicts; the focus is always on something that the speaker feels is important and worthy of being focused on.

A motivational speaker's goal is just the opposite. He doesn't care what you choose, just so long as you are the one choosing. He doesn't have any goals in mind when he defines success. For the motivational speaker the job is not to tell you what to do, you already know what it is you have to do, he just wants to bring out what is already there. A good motivational speaker will get you fired up with a passion to go out there and do what ever it is that you do with more passion than you did before. The goal can sometimes be internal change, but for the most part the goal is to bring out the choices that a person really wants to make themselves.

It is true that there are many Rebbeim that mix the roles, they motivate as well as give mussar. There are some Rebbeim out there that bring a person's self confidence up. They show how a person can make themselves into who they really want to be; they motivate, inspire, and they enlighten all at the same time. The problem is at the end of the day they mix the speech with things a person doesn't want to hear. They mix in their own preaching, what they feel you should be doing at the end of the day. This ends up poisoning the waters and ruining anything a person could have taken away from the speech.

The reality is that the job of a Rabbi is different from the job of the motivational speaker. The Rabbi is after all a servant of God first and foremost. His first duty is to do what he believes is the will of the almighty. If you choose to sit in the chair and listen to what he has to say that means that you subscribe to his view of what the almighty wants, you are willing to accept what the Rabbi has to say on the subject. All his motivation has the focus of trying to get you to do what in his view is the will of God. Your own personal goals, as long as they don't fall in line with what he believes is the will of God, are discountable.

Motivational speakers on the other hand have a totally different goal in mind. Their goal is to help you do better what ever it is you happen to want to be better at. If you want to be better at serving God, he can help you be better at that. If you want to be a better thief, he can even help you get better in that too. His whole job is to bring out internal potential, the direction of that potential is all your own.

This past week I listened to the amazing motivational speaker, Ben Newman, give a presentation in front of a large crowd of salespeople. His job was to inspire each of us to be better at our trade. The point of the whole thing, however, was not focused on the fact that he was speaking to sales people. It would have worked for any group of people whose goal was to be better at what they were doing. The one thing I took away from the whole speech was this line, "You have got to find your internal WHY." The idea is that you have to find in yourself what makes you get up in the morning and gets the fire in your belly going. How else can you be successful unless you recognize your own internal sense of purpose.

This whole concept is totally alien to a Mussar Shmooze. The "WHY" is all external, why you want to do what you want to do is irrelevant, internalizing the external "why" is the most important. Internalizing the goals of the Torah is considered more important than externalizing your own personal dreams and aspirations. You should be learning more, you should be talking less in Shul about the guy with the funny nose, you should be looking at thing that give you lustful thoughts less often. You should, you should, you should. And all I do is tune it all out. Because WHY SHOULD I? It's all good and well you telling me what I should and shouldn't do, but in the end of the day it is my life to live and not yours. I have to live everyday with the choices that I make, not you. I have to wake up every morning and look myself in the mirror and be glad that I was born, not saying, "It was worthy of man not to have been created" but saying "Thank God I was born, this is the only life I have to live. Let's make it the best I can!"

When everything is considered all that really counts is living with the choices you make. There is nothing more important than going home with the feeling of contentment. God doesn't strike people down with lightening. The consequences for religiously "BAD" actions are hidden in the cause and effect of everyday events. Sometimes we see the hand of God, sometimes the hand is hidden so far we don't even think it is there at all. The reward and punishment so far in the future and so far from the concrete world of everyday life can not be the compass that makes for living our lives. The compass has to be ourselves, our motivations, our hopes and our dreams. It can not be something we only half-heatedly accept as our own, it can't be something we only do on weekends or one time of year. It can not be something that comes from a speech the Rabbi gives every other week on Shabbos. It must come from an internal sense of rightness that is born from living itself. The only thing a speech can do is motivate what is already inside, and the measure of a speech is how well it does that job.

An Angelic story

2009-10-24T19:31:00.004-04:00

Once upon a time, in a little corner of heaven, an angel found happiness. He looked down on the earth and he pitied all of the miserable people who live unfulfilled lives. He decided to cover up his wings and come down to earth and give some advice to humanity. He went into the local department store and asked the salesman if they sold angel cloths to cover up his angel wings. The salesman thought he was joking and pointed him to the angel-food cake. After frustratingly trying to wear angel-food on his wings he realized that the salesman had been pulling his leg and he borrowed a trench coat from the local undercover CIA agent.

For weeks he walked around the world in search of a good publicist to get his message out. Every agency would laugh in his face when he told them what he wanted to do. Even the world's religions were not receptive to his message. Either people were skeptical or they thought they had found happiness already. Everywhere he turned his voice was ignored.

Three weeks of walking the earth with no results is a very disheartening prospect even for an angel. The angel took off his borrowed CIA jacket and went back to have a conversation with God. He had a heart to heart with God and asked God for advice about how to get things rolling. At first God was not very receptive to his idea. "Do you think the world needs more complications. Every time I try to intervene in worldly affairs things end up worse than they started. Every revelation is ignored, every given law is trampled on, and people end up doing whatever they want anyway. The world I have created is flawed, the people I have created are only human" God said to the angel.

"It's no wonder I can not get my message across. You have hidden your face to the point that even you do not see it. I just want to bring a little hope to the world, a little light. You have let the world sink into the oblivion of uncertainty. You have let the people cry out for so long in search of you. You have let the world go dark to your presence. Give me a chance to show them were true happiness can be found. Give me a chance to open their eyes again. People will come back to you. People will return to the call of your voice", the angel pleaded with God.

The Master of the Universe looked down on his creation. He looked down on the polluted world, a world that was only a shadow of what it once was, and shook his head. "There doesn't seem like there is much hope for them. Each year they cry out, each day they cry out, but they don't even know what they are crying for. They wouldn't know happiness if it was sitting right in front of them."

The angel looked at God. He stared into the the face of God and he said, "You know. You Know." He put his CIA trench-coat back over his wings and descended back down to earth. For even when God told him that there was no hope, he knew deep down that he had to try. Even the life of an angel means to struggle or else he dies.

Cutting corners

2009-10-21T22:28:00.003-04:00

You can't cut corners. Everything must be done in the proper order. Do things out of order and you end up in a situation that is not optimal. You don't want to eat right before you go for a run. You don't want to jump into something head first without knowing what you are getting into. You definitely don't want to do important things halfhearted.

In my head there is always the temptation to not listen to my own advice. I always want to do two steps at a time, skipping things that can turn out to be very important. However, deep down I realize that this is wrong. Everything must be done in it's own time.

A few things recently have brought this idea to the forefront of my mind. I started a new career in investment sales. Instead of selling tangible things I am selling ideas. My job is to show people what they have and where there is a need for something more. To do this job it is necessary to go through all the steps. Skip one step and the person who you are trying to help will get the wrong ideas, ending in possibly making the wrong decision in the long run. It took one experience to teach me this valuable lesson.

The only reason I cut corners was because of lack of confidence. I didn't feel that the way things were supposed to work would actually work in reality. I think this is why people generally cut corners, well... That and inpatients. But then, isn't inpatients a sign of lacking confidence?

Every mistake I make builds experience, every experience builds confidence, and in the end of the day I will feel confident enough not to need to cut corners.

May you all learn from my vaguely described mistakes.

A freilichen un aGuten Moyed

2009-10-04T23:03:00.003-04:00

As many of you may or may not be aware, today is the first day of Chol Hamoed Sukkos. It is a day of extreme significance in the KaBallistic world. Today a few hundred years ago, a Rebbe said to his chossid, "Get me some Shmaltz Herring, I'm hungry." From that day forward, Jews all over the world have a minhag to go out on long Chol Hamoed trips to tourist destinations all over their own city's. For one time of the year Jews would know what it means to be annoying in a touristy way.

This Rebbe in our story is now wondering why he could have died on some regular day of the year. If only people would just eat herring in his name and not go to all the free zoos in his memory. Unfortunately for him, there already is no Tachanun in the month of Elul; something else besides a shorter davening would have to be done in memory of him demanding some herring of his loyal Chossid.

For many of us gentlemen who get up late and shake some leaves and fruit, the last thing the rebbe who wanted herring wants of you is to have you get a stomach ache eating your esrog before davening. So just remember to save it for after davening when you are really hungry. After all, you don't have a chossid to get you some herring and vodka.

Erev Yom Kippur Poem

2009-09-27T14:49:00.004-04:00

Ask you no forgiveness
Hope I've done you no wrong
Pray God feel the same way
When the gavel sings its song.

So many people say
I'm Sorry.
They beg forgiveness too,
Empty words
They do cry.
Sin again
again they do.

I forgive all,
not needing to be asked.
You should all do the same
so in brazenness you don't ask:

God please forgive me
for all my sins.
Though, I will do them again
In action, mind, body,
and heart.
Here's to you God,
Praying you're not too smart.

But God sees all
He knows all too
Forgiveness
A gift he bestows on you.

Act like Hashem
Act like God
For though he knows
you'll do it again
Quick to forgive
all of our sin.

Moving beyond guilt...

2009-09-25T02:20:00.002-04:00

(And onto the path of Teshuvah.)

Jewish Guilt, we have all heard the term at one time or another. It is usually meant in a derogatory way to show how the Jewish people have so many obligations that they are choosing to ignore but still feeling guilty for doing so.

It is hard to be a Jew, these same people bemoan. How can I be Jewish when there is so much asked of me? I would rather be doing something different, alas I was born Jewish. It's hard, but what can I do? I can't choose who my parents happened to be.

It is at this point that there is a choice. Stay with the faith of birth, or choose another less demanding faith to believe in. These are the two extremes. There are many other choices in between, various levels of observance, various levels of belief.

There is however another choice, one that has nothing to do with faith, nothing to do with observance, and everything to do with the Jewish community as a whole. Jewish guilt is not a personal thing that Jews go through. It is hard to be a Jew is not something an individual Jew actually feels in his heart. They are statements about the community as a whole, and not something that has to weigh on the individual in his path to greatness.

Jewish Guilt is not something that individual Jews feel for their sins. It is the collective guilt we all feel for the fact that so many of us have been lost to the ages, lost to sin, lost to death, and lost to history. It is the guilt we all feel for the fact that we have not lived up to God's promise to Avraham that we would be a great nation. We have been like the stars, but we have lost our sparkle; we have been like the sand, but we have lost our fine grain.

It is hard to be a Jew is not the cry of backbreaking labor. The hardship of being Jewish is a fallacy. It is not hard to be Jewish anymore than it is hard to embrace any community. When you accept yourself as part of a community, and the community accepts you in return, you become a member of an organization. The organization becomes a part of you. It is only hard to be a Jew when you are part of the organization and you don't really want to be a part. It is only hard to be Jewish when you are not willing to let the community shoulder some of your personal guilt. It is only hard to be a Jew when the community feels that your personal guilt is too much to bear.

On Yom Kippur the confession that we say is not a personal confession. We do not go into a little booth in the back and tell the Rabbi all the things we have done wrong in the past year. Just the opposite, everything in the Teffilah (Prayer) is plural. We are speaking with one voice, one person, one heart. We are asking God to forgive Us. Each one of us stands before Hashem and asks him for forgiveness as part of the whole nation of Israel. We each do not stand alone, however, we all stand as One.

On your own there is worry, guilt, angst, and desperation. You worry that you are not doing things correctly, you feel guilt when something goes wrong, angst and desperation when you think nothing you do will ever be correct. As part of a group, while there may be group pressure for you to act in a certain way, in the end you get certainty. You get a subjective experience that is rooted in something more than your own brain. You get comfort, belonging, and an existence where your brothers and sisters help shoulder the guilt in an all encompassing One.

Looking the Fool or acting as God? (To Talk or not to Talk)

2009-09-23T01:00:00.002-04:00

There is always a risk, a risk of saying something wrong and looking like a fool in front of everyone. Every time I open my mouth I feel this risk. The risk is that people will raise their eyebrow in a weird sense disgust. The rewards though, are unlimitedly satisfying. Every word out in the world, like a hammer knocking into a wall and chipping away some of the plaster. My words make an impact. The waves that reverberate from my vocal cords do not end at the ears of the listener. They are digested, accepted, or rejected. They have impact.

When God created the world with the words, "Let it be!", did he look over at the angels looking for their approval. Did he give a sidelong glance hoping for a nod from another? NO, he did nothing of the sort. He saw that it was good. He looked at the world and approved of the ripples his actions had created. But God is One, there is no other for him to look for approval from. To teach us humility God says to the angels, "let us make man." In man there must be some sort of society of approval.

There is always the question when acting and speaking, to act like God creating the world or God creating man. Do you look for approval, even if it is only an allusion? Do you say what you want and find it good no matter what the consequences happen to turn out to be?

Different people have different natural tendencies when it comes to answering this question. Some people think so long they end up impacting nothing outside of themselves. Others don't think at all, blurting out everything that comes to mind, they too have no impact outside of themselves; their voice gets relegated to the white noise that exists all around us. What type of person are you?

I know for myself, in real life, I come very close to the white noise type of person. Creating so much I create nothing, all acts of creation turned to random chance, and every word ignored by the people around me. I let the fact that I want to get the words out over power the fact that sometimes the people listening don't really have their ears open. Conversations end in long pauses, long drawn out Yes', and people walking off having gained nothing from what I have said. Do I care? I suppose the goal for this year is to let my ears do more of the talking.

For the rest of you who have trouble talking, the world wants to hear from you. The world want's to hear what you have to say. You may risk looking like a fool if you say something stupid, but isn't the risk worth it? You can create worlds just like God, waves just like the moon, and thunder like the roar of a lion.

"Better to keep your mouth shut and have people wonder if you are a fool than give people the satisfaction of certainty at your stupidity." I say- have the certainty, as well as any food for thought you happen to be mocking.

-This is dedicated to all the people who ignore what I have to say, and all the people who give me their ear as I talk it off, but most of all it is dedicated to all you regular people named Joe, Frank, Yankel, Susan, Tisha, and of course the greatest one of them all- The Rabbi who keeps us all late to tell us something we all heard so many times before, knowing full well it will go in one ear and out the other, but hoping that just this once he can make a difference.

My Grandmother has passed: Baruch Dayan Emes

2009-09-17T12:07:00.006-04:00

Grandma is gone. She is dead. Yesterday she was alive and not feeling well, today she is dead and feeling nothing. Is there sadness, is there joy? Sadness for what we all lost, joy for her no longer living in pain and suffering, or is there just pain?

For the past year Grandma has not been feeling well. She has had back problems, diabetes, and a few other things I probably don't even know about. When I last spoke to her she lamented the fact that she did not live a more healthy lifestyle. She was sick with diabetes for a large portion of her senior years. She enjoyed eating and that enjoyment caught up with her in the end. I told her she should not be sad, she lived a happy life, an enjoyable life, full of life. What reason was there to regret, to feel sad that you had some fun as a young person? She accepted what I said, it comforted her, and when my father went down to Florida to see her she expressed similar sentiments.

For years my grandparents used to come over to visit for a few hours. My parents would make a nice spread of milchigs and we would all eat together. When it was time to leave us kids would always chase the car down the street, we never wanted them to leave. Grandpa, strong stable and opinionated; Grandma, warm and caring. Then they moved down to Florida and stopped coming to visit. We all expressed a desire to go down there and see them, but they said it would be too much for all of us to come down at once, and we never did.

A while after moving down to Florida they got into a car accident. A kid rear-ended them and caused my grandma a lot of time in the hospital. She would not press charges. He was just a kid who would learn his lesson next time. She had compassion, even for the kid who accidentally ran a car into her.

Every time I would get on the phone she would always want to hear how I was doing. She used to Shep Nachas from the littlest things that went on in my life, praising me for things that I didn't even know were worthy of praise. Like only a grandma can do, my voice sounded fantastic, I looked very hansom, and I was destined to do great things, no matter what those things happened to be.

It is hard to find unconditional love. The love of a parent is many times very conditional of following the wishes of the parent. The love of a brother is conditional on not beating him up that often. But the love of a grandparent is something that can not be beaten. It is truly unconditional. Now that my grandma is gone, I feel that lack of love in the world.

My mother told me, the conversation she had with my grandma was about the fact that I had just passed a big test. Grandma was so proud, and when I hear that I cried. There was something missing in the world that will never be replaced.

While the world and myself has lost some of the love that was there, I am not all sad. In the end of her life she was in a lot of pain and suffering. She lost tons of weight, unhealthful, and was confined to a bed all day. When speaking to her for the last time she sounded very weak and frail, I just could not stand being on the phone. It was so sad. She knew the end of life was near. She gave the doctors a do not resuscitate order when she went into the ICU, and a few days later she was gone. God gives life at birth, and takes life at death.

Last Rosh Hashanah we all all asked the question, “who will live and who will die?” We all wondered what our fate would be for this coming year. Tomorrow night is Rosh Hashanah again, and again we will ask the same question. For my grandmother the answer was that this past year was her last. She did not make it to the next Rosh Hashanah. The thought just makes tears come to my eyes.

When I woke up this morning the first thing my mother told me was that my grandmother had passed a few hours ago. All I could think about was the Halachik ramifications of a person dying before a holiday and not being able to be buried until after. She lived in Florida and would be buried in New York. My father would have to spend the whole Yom Tov in a state of limbo, the body unburied, the funeral undone, imagining that all is right with the world. Just when everything starts to make sense, the funeral would come Monday morning, and a whole seven days of mourning to follow. The reality of the situation only hit me about an hour later listening to my father on the phone arranging for a shmira for the body of the whole Yom Tov. My grandmother was truly no longer living, and for a moment I cried.

May all of us who bring so many happiness have long and healthy lives. May we live to do good deeds, bringing joy to the world by our presence. May this year be one of life for those that are living, and peace for those that are not. May we all be written in the Book of Good Life.

Mike's Superpower MeMe

2009-09-16T01:50:00.004-04:00

Over at MikeInMidwood Mike has decided to tag me in a MeMe that seems very interesting. What superpower would I choose if given the choice. To prepare a response to this wonderful question I went to my DVD collection and re-watched all the DVDs that discussed superpowers and superheros. I re-watched Jumper to learn about teleportation; Superman to learn about super-strength; True Blood to learn about mind-reading and shape-shifting;rapping it up with every season of Heroes ever aired. I was finally ready to choose a superpower. When it came to making my final choice, I couldn't choose.

Instead of choosing a superpower, I decided to let the superpower choose me. I got myself some radioactive spiders and had them bite me in the hopes that I would turn into Spiderman. I bombarded myself with high doses of radiation in the hopes of turning into Atom-man. I even ate a whole bottle of ginkgo biloba praying that I would get the super-smart superpower. Instead of getting any sort of superpower I ended up read sick with radiation poisoning.

There had to be a better way to get super without resorting to pseudo-scientific means. I put on my thinking cap. Everyone knows that when a person gets a superpower it is a manifestation of their own inner desire and personality. In order to get my superpower I would have to find out who I really am. I went to Israel, the Jewish Tibet. It was there that I found out what my superpower really was.

I was meant to learn in Kollel for the rest of my life. I would be the super Yeshiva Guy, always on time for learning, always learning the same sugya in Brachos about time. It was then that God decided to grant me the power to hear other's thoughts. Would you believe what all those people were thinking when they were throwing those rocks on Shabbos? Would you believe me if I told you they were all thinking about the bad Chulent they just ate?

You don't know what a burden it was to be able to read everyone's thoughts. I handled it pretty well though. For a person that doesn't get social cues very well mind-reading was a godsend. It litterally was a Godsend. Then one morning, it was gone, and I was back to my regular self.

(Thanks Mike for starting me on this train of thought. Good Meme.)

and now for tagging others....

I tag Mak of Frum in South Florida. I do so for one reason, I think her choice of superpower will be very cool. (Perhaps Dragon related, though I may be surprised) :)

I tag Harry-er than them all because, well just because.

I tag Rachel at Shavua Tov! because I want to know what kind of superpower it takes to convert to another religion.

The next tag goes to Jacob Da Jew just because I want to see if he picks Superdad as his superpower. (and because I'm just curious to see if he will do one of these things.)

Edit: Since loosing my power to read minds, I have been unable to discern who would and would not like to do the MeMe. It seems I have missed the obvious choice. I tag SuperRaisy because she is already super. I wonder what powers go along with that superness?

Lastly, anyone else with the name Frum in their name is also hereby tagged. Does being Frum make you have superpowers?

Live Every Moment

2009-09-14T22:17:00.004-04:00

It is easy to thoughtlessly move though life on autopilot. You get up, you do your thing, you go to work, come home and go back to sleep again. It is easy to get caught up in living the day to day and lose sight of the big picture, Life.

In all of our lives there are things that can be wake up calls for us to break the everyday monotony and do something different for a change. You can probably list on one hand the things that have happened to you personally that could have been used as a springboard for inspiration. You can probably list on that same hand the amount of times you have ignored that inspiration. The day to day catches you and draws you into it's web of comfort.

Eventually you wake up one day and realize, "what have I been doing with my life?" You have been letting the everyday humdrum guide your existence. You have lost your spontaneity of youth. At this point there is a crisis. It can happen in a person's "midlife", or it can happen at anytime in a person's short existence. At this point you probably do something extravagant like buy a real fancy car and get into a cat accident just to prove that you are still living. But this doesn't have to be how it goes.

A person can live there life in a constant state of New, where everyday is a new day, and every action has meaning. There is no routine, no idea of-because I did this yesterday I will do the same today. Everyday's actions are consciously considered on their own merits. Everyday is a real choice.

Some people see value in mindless action. Even mindless action brings some sort of reward. In the religious spectrum it is called, "From acting without intent comes actions with intent." This means that rote action will eventually lead to some benefit in the long run. In the secular world a person in a horrible job gets paid the same amount whether he is "into it" or not; all that counts is the eventual results and not the meaning behind the actions. However, there is always a price to pay. It is true that rote can eventually turn into something meaningful; and you get paid for a job well done, whether you liked doing the job or not. But, this is not always the case. Rote usually turns to rot and boredom. And unfulfilling work eventually costs a person his sanity.

There is only one moment in life, that moment is Now. Death is all the time you have spent, and will spend, doing things you don't really want to be doing. Every moment in agony is a moment in hell that you can never get back. There is a heaven and there is a hell; they are one in the same, they are a constant eternal rerun of your life. Live life and live eternally, live death and face and eternity repeating that death over and over again.

Live Life, Choose life, and may this coming year be one of life for all of us.

Get rid of Traffic Cops...

2009-09-14T00:02:00.002-04:00

Have you ever been going down the highway at a speed way over the speed limit? You were probably cruising down the road without a care in the world, your foot firmly planted on the gas pedal. All of the sudden in the distance you can see the flashing lights of what looks like a police car in the distance.

What is your knee-jerk reaction?

Do you slow down and hope that by the time you are under the speed limit the cop will notice you and pass you by for some other more reckless speeder?

Probably not.

The more likely scenario is that you will slam on the breaks in the hopes that you can get down below the speed limit so as not to be noticed by the police car.

Is this safe?

Probably not.

I wonder how many accidents were caused just by police trying to catch people in the act of speeding. I wonder how many accidents could be prevented a year if they would just let the speeders go as fast as they want?

The world would be so much better off without traffic enforcement.

Broken Computer,Expensive replacement, it should be an atonement

2009-09-09T19:55:00.006-04:00

Yesterday,while sitting at my computer, I heard the distinct sound of my hard drive on it's last legs. I could hear the spinning of the disk inside the drive and the little arm inside just trying to read and write the data, failing miserably. I pressed the power button and turned the computer off, hoping that maybe once I turned it back on there would be enough time for me to backup all the data I foolishly forgot to backup. I was not so lucky.

I turned the computer on only to be told that there was no hard drive available to turn on, and a nice noise that sounded like a click, click, clicking sound of the arm trying and failing to read the disk. My disk was dead, my data was lost, and all I could think of doing was throwing the computer on the floor and stepping on it a few time to see if perhaps that would do the trick.

After considering punishing the computer for it's infraction I suddenly got a brilliant idea. Why dispair when I can just buy a new hard-drive tomorrow? This time I can get one that is guaranteed not to break from falling on the floor a few times. That is exactly what I did.

I bought a new SSD (solid state drive) which has no moving parts to break, is much faster, and 5x as expensive. I went to J&R in Manhattan and bought the Imation 27511 2.5" 128GB M-Class SATA SSD for $380 after tax. I got home slipped it into my computer, and an hour later I am back up and running again.

The drive is super quiet since there are no moving parts inside. The time it takes to transfer files is much faster than any regular hard disk. My laptop feels lighter now since the disk is much lighter than the one I had before. Overall, while I don't wish a dead computer on anyone, if your computer has to go make sure you take backups, and make sure you get a SSD as a replacement.

Why don't we learn from history?

2009-09-07T19:56:00.003-04:00

History repeats itself, I was told in a high school history class. History repeats itself and we have to learn from the mistakes already make so that we don’t make the same mistakes again. This was the reason we had to learn history. If you don’t learn about what happened before, you are doomed to do the same stupid things over and over again. A fool is someone who does the same thing over and over again expecting different results each time.

The problem is that history keeps repeating itself no matter how many history classes are taught in High School and College. People continue to make the same mistakes over and over again, as if they are doomed to repeat them and never learn any lesson. Why don’t we learn from history and improve on the future instead of making the same mistakes over and over again?

When we look at history, what do we see? Do we see a string of mistakes that need correcting in the future? Or do we see a string of successes that have contributed to the progress in technological and human innovation?

In my mind it is the latter, we see the good things that have happened to bring us to the current point in time. We see all the wonderful things that have expanded the human lifespan, grew our food supply to sustain such a big population, and gave all the amenities that the kings of old would look on in envy. We don’t see all the so called mistakes that we are supposed to learn from, because all the good things that have happened have over powered the little mistakes that we have made along the way.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that the little mistakes are an inevitable part of humanity striving to better its condition. If allowed freedom of action, freedom to pursue its happiness, humanity will undoubtedly make mistakes along the way. Even in a controlled environment, it is impossible to calculate all the variables necessary to rule out all “bad” consequences of actions that bring about progress.

The history professors of the world would have you believe that learning about mistakes will prevent their repetition. People will get wiser from the knowledge they have gained by learning the stories of the past. In truth, this is not the case at all; people make the same mistakes over and over again for one simple reason: these same mistakes lead to good things for humanity in the long run. After so many years of death and destruction, war still exists and is a thriving industry. Even after looking at all the miserable people taking drugs, people continue to indulge. Staying up all night, a person vowed never to do such a thing again, yet the next time he does it anyway. The list is endless; there are so many follies that people have done and continue to do. Even knowing all the lessons of history, people still say, “the ends justify the means” and “you have to break a few eggs to get an omelet.”

Humanity is a risk taking species. While some individuals would like to hide from risks; as a community, people like taking risks. Corporations were developed with the goal of taking on risks to get large rewards. Countries were developed to pool the risk over large amounts of people for protection and war. However, there are always two sides to risk. There is the possible loss as well as the possible gain. When you spread the risk over many people the perceived gains always override the possible losses. So long as humanity remains humanity, history will continue to repeat itself. People will continue to make the same mistakes over and over again. In the risky roll of the dice you don’t always win. In the end though, it’s all worth it. Look how far we have come.

Human Alliance Against Stress

2009-09-06T00:40:00.005-04:00

As part of our charter we the Human Alliance Against Stress, hereby known as HAAS, do commit to these following 10 principles so that we can live a stress free existence.

Stay in bed for as long as possible. Don't force yourself to stay in bed, do what comes natural, and get out of bed only when you feel truly well rested.
Move as little as possible throughout the day. When a task needs to get done, don't do it very fast. Move in a lackadaisical fashion that will get the task done Eventually.
Live life with the motto that "It's all small stuff," and you don't want to stress the small stuff.
When you need to get anywhere, Take a Taxi. Let the taxi driver deal with the stress of getting from point A to point B so that you don't have to worry.
Throw out your alarm clock, watch, and day planner. When ever you happen to get there has to be fine with who ever it is you are going to meet. If it isn't, the person is probably someone who will cause you unneeded stress and should probably be avoided.
Avoid commitments, responsibility, and goals that require deadlines.
Throw out all your "stuff." Get rid of your car, house, and credit cards. Get rid of any other "things" that can possibly cause you stress. The more things you have, the more stress you have to deal with.
Stay away from "The News." If the story is not happening directly to you, you don't need to know anything about it. All the news does is depress and stress.
Only read non-involving fiction. Stay away from books that contain real knowledge of the world. Stay away from fiction that may possibly make you think. Knowledge and thinking cause lots of stress because they make you realize anything beyond your own little bubble.
If all else fails, drink lots of Booze. Alcohol numbs the brain, senses, and nerves. What better way to stay away from stress than with a little bit to drink every couple of hours?

Good Shabbos Ki Tavo

2009-09-04T18:24:00.003-04:00

Don't get down
by all the rebuke
Things look brighter
in new light

2000 years
survived
no land
pursued
tears denied
people cried.

A new day dawns
on planet Earth
Peace
Happiness
Prosperity
above the dirt

Land returned
Freedom to listen

O God,
Pour down Sweet Blessin'

If I ran the Government ( a true fiscally responsible plan for government)

2009-08-31T22:35:00.001-04:00

Step 1: Sales Tax and Capital Gains Tax. These taxes determine the budget of the next fiscal year. They are indicators of the economic situation of the country. The size of the government is determined by how well the economy is doing. There is no deficit spending, no bailouts, no stimulus packages.

Step 2: Each citizen gets a ballet where that person ranks in order what forms of government spending are most important to him. There is a list of items to choose from in which the person has to choose less than the whole list.

Step 3: The rankings are aggregated, and based on the aggregation the budget of the next year is determined. The items highest on the most people's lists gets the most money and priority. The items lowest on the list get little to no money and/or are not funded at all.

Step 4: Any surplus gets distributed to people with very low incomes in the form of work incentive subsidies.

Step 5: The next year's budget and tax rates are adjusted to reflect any surpluses. Departments that run on a deficit will be reorganized so that they are able to function within budget.

(Side note) Step 6: All social issues (ie. abortion, gay marriage, ect..) will be determined by popular vote on the state level. Municipal issues ( parking, street cleaning, zoning, ect...) will be deternimed city by city and district by district also by popular vote.

(Side note) Step 7: Voting in all elections, budget and representative, is mandatory, and punishable by the forfeiture of government services for that year. Voting can be done over a full week period to prevent people from being penalized unfairly.

What do you think?

Overvigilence in reporting abuse?

2009-08-30T22:24:00.001-04:00

Today I spoke to an elderly couple in Williamsburg. They were both under the impression that a Jewish mother would not harm her own child. Even with the story in Israel where the mother abused her own child, this couple was under the impression that it really can’t happen in real life. The old women told me that a while back someone she knows brought her son into the emergency room to be treated for a bump on the head. The hospital called social services and accused the mother of abusing her child, to the point where they were going to put the child in foster care with non-Jews. The old women felt that the hospital was being over reactive, young kids bump their heads all the time. Just because the child had a bruise on his head doesn’t mean that the parents were negligent in their duty as parents.

On the one hand, I understand the old woman’s concern. The old saying popularized by mothers who don’t want to deal with the fact that their kids are wild and out of control is, “boys will be boys.” Boys get bumps, scrapes, and bruises in the course of having the adventures of their youth. I don’t think there is one kid who grew up without getting at least one scrape. What would be the point of being young if you don’t get to enjoy it with a little adventure culminating in small personal injury? A little bump on the head is not sure proof of abuse.

On the other hand, I understand the concern raised by the hospital workers and social services. They have an obligation to protect themselves from liability. If someone walks into the hospital and is a victim of abuse it is the responsibility of the workers to ensure that they do everything in their power to prevent the abuse from continuing. To do anything less leaves the hospital open to future lawsuits, not to mention the moral responsibility to help those in need that cannot help themselves.

The one comment that I think that old women wanted to make was that there are certain groups that have more cases of reported abuse. The Jewish Nation, as the Am Kadosh, should be intrinsically less susceptible to cases of abuse due to the commandments, as well as the cultural stigmata attached to having something like that take place in the purview of the Jewish home. Since this should be the case, the hospital workers should not have been so quick to assume abuse and automatically call social services. The hospital should have been a little more discriminating in its reporting of bumps and bruises.

Alas, we live in America, land of equality under the law, both for the good as well as the bad. While it is possible that the fact that the Jewish people, aware of their higher moral standard, would be less likely to abuse their children; the fact remains that a hospital has its duty to leave this possibility as just that, a possibility. Everyone must be treated equally under the law if the rule of law is to be respected by all. For while it is true that Boys will be boys, it is also true that abuse can take place in any culture, no matter if the probability is possibly lower in one culture for cases of abuse.

War, Women, Wills, and Wrong Children: The Divine Morality of the Torah

2009-08-28T15:50:00.000-04:00

As a standard for objective morality at first glance this week's Parsha, Ki Teitzei, seems to leave a lot lacking from the perspective of today's modern individual. In today's day and age war is wrong, rape is the equivalent to murder, inheritance is a matter of personal choice, and the stealing of meat and wine is not an offense punishable by death.

Yet, in Parshas Ki Teitzei it seems that all these things are fine. "When you go to war on your enemies...", as if war is inevitable and permitted. (Though the word כִּי could be translated as "If", never the less the standard translation which is most used is "When.") "And she shall be your wife.", without her choice in the matter. She is a captive and has no say in what happens to her. "To him is the right of the first born.", even though you don't like that son as much as the other you still have to give him first priority. "This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious...glutton and a gluzzard. And all the men of the city shall stone him with stones, and he will die.", glutton and gluzzard gets the death penalty.

In terms of objective truth, there are a few ways to look at this.

The Torah doesn't know what it is talking about. We know better and are more civilized than the standards that are written in the Torah.
The Torah really doesn't mean what it says. we can apologize the text to fit with our own modern sentiments.
Our own modern standard of morality is faulty, and the Torah's morality is the one true way of doing things.
The Torah was given to the people at that time. It was meant to evolve with the morality of different generations. In each generation the text can be reinterpreted to fit with the going standard.

I don't want to take any of the above approaches. Both the extremes of denial, modern and Torah, don't really make sense. Our current system of morality is based in Torah, and who is to say our standard is any better in an objective stance from the one spelled out in the Torah. Apologetics too seem wrong, reading into something what you want it to say seems very dishonest to the plain meaning of the text. As for the last "Conservative/deconstructionist" approach, it removes any semblance of objective truth from the text altogether, creating no reason to look at the Torah any more than any other text a person might find meaningful.

It really all boils down to perspective. In the eyes of the Torah, and in the eyes of the Jewish People, we are all servants of the God in Heaven. The human being does not contain intrinsic value outside the value given to him/her by God in the context of the given laws. The modern standard of morality gives intrinsic value to the human being irrespective of God and his laws. When people say that the Torah's morality doesn't fit with today's standards they are correct. But only because the people of today look at morality as something divorced from God. People today only think they know better, think they have to apologize, or reinterpret because they have separated the morality from the morality giver.

In my mind, looking for objective morality outside the world of religion leads directly to moral relativism. No one will convince anyone else that their standards are correct unless political correctness comes into play. The only way out of moral relativism is the acceptance of some sort of standard that is "Outside." In order for any such standard to carry any weight, it must be posited that the morality comes directly from someone that every person respects. That someone is God. While it is true that one can not know God outside their own head, it is the objective standard revealed in the Torah that is the starting point. The Torah guides us in the perspective we should be taking when looking for answers to our moral questions.

Originality: One Book

2009-08-27T22:18:00.003-04:00

In the process of walking around the neighborhoods of Brooklyn I have ran into a few interesting people with many interesting ideas. Today I heard a very interesting idea from a fellow sitting on the stoop of his apartment building smoking a self rolled cigarette and drinking a cold beer.

Basically, there is only one book. Every book ever written after that one book is just a response to the ideas put forward by the first book. Every thought that we have is a response to stimuli but the way we each get to that response is a manifestation of that first idea.

What this means is that even when we think we are having original ideas, we are only reflecting on what we learned in the past. There is nothing new under the sun. Even when we marvel at a sunset and admire the beauty of God's creation, our description of the experience is part of that original idea. The greatest poets are copywriters promoting ideas that are not really their own.

I found this idea interesting but not really compelling. On one hand, it fits very well with the idea that Everything is written in the Torah. On the other hand, if all new ideas are just manifestations of "The original idea" then what is The Original Idea? If the original idea is something intrinsically built into the fabric of humanity, and all ideas are manifestations of who we are, could it be possible to actually have a real idea as we know it without being human? We need a frame of reference to conceive of any idea at all. Without a frame of reference, any idea conceived of would be intrinsically meaningless. In my mind the greatest artist in the world create, they don't just copy. They create within the context of the world they live in.

In Berashis Rabba it says that Hashem looked into the Torah and created the world. What this means is that the Torah itself was created without context,and the world with it's humanity was created by God within the context of the Torah. When the Torah was given back to humanity, it was given within the context of an already existent humanity. The people at the time had to put the ideas being given to them into a framework that they could understand. Even the One Book, The Torah we have today, can not be said to be the Torah without context that Hashem used to create the world.

Because of the fact that the One Book, the One Idea, has never been written down. Because it would take more paper than the atoms in the world. Because of this, new ideas are always possible. While there may not be anything new under the sun, new ideas are continually being brought into the sun's light on a momentary basis.

Understanding the Shidduch Crisis (hint hint: It has to do with money)

2009-08-21T01:40:00.000-04:00

Walking through Williamsburg one might get the sense that there are lots of older mature people walking around. Every man has a beard, and a long one too. The women are all pushing strollers with many children in tow. All along the streets people are rushing here and there to get to where they are going. There is a place for everyone, and everyone knows their place, even if that place happens to be government housing on the corner of Wythe and Taylor.

As I walk around I feel a sense of envy. I'm an unmarried man at the age of 23. What I see is people my own age with 3 children running around living happy lives. They may not be making fortunes, and they may complain that the parking tickets are bankrupting them, but when you look on their faces you see a sense of contentment that I can only imagine in my own head. What would it be like to walk blissfully with a wife and children down Lee Ave, my own bekishe blowing in the wind, the heat of the summer day pouring down my forehead? What would life be like when my only real worry was a bike lane, and all my prayers answered together with a few kapitlach of Tehillem in the big Vishnetze Shul?

Many people in the more modern community look down on the people who accept social services. They think there is something wrong with living in government housing, accepting food stamps, medicaid, and Priority 7. At the same time they cry about a Shidduch Crisis. They cry about the fact that people are getting married at a much later age than they used to, and that some people are not getting married at all. The honest truth is that in order to get married at an age when you are not going to be financially independent you must take some form of subsidy. You must accept some sort of social services to survive.

The Chassisishe community has accepted this fact. They start families at very young ages. By keeping the community insular and the education about standard, the hashkafos are about uniform throughout. The rest is up to looks and personality,which is a personal choice, and when you limit the choice to a certain group of people there really isn't that many people to choose from. The rest is money to start a family, and with subsidies from the government that becomes less of a worry.

In the Yeshivish communities the tendency is to get married a little later than in the chassidish communities. This is due in part to the fact that while the Yeshivas encourage full time learning, they also see government handouts as less than ideal. (At least less ideal than the Chassidish communities.) Only people who are still learning passed a certain level will be considered worthy of receiving financial support from the community in the form of a Kollel check, and with that enough to survive with the government subsidies. Learning becomes the ends that is justified by the means of taking government money. However, it takes time to realise that a person wants to dedicate their life to learning, and so it takes time for a man in the Yeshivish community to get married. The girls are left waiting.

I was not cut out for "learning." I went to college after realising that all I would be doing by sitting full time in Yeshiva would be wasting my time. Still unwilling to take subsidies from the government, though I take plenty from my parents, I am still not married. I am a working boy, doomed to wait till I get a job till I find a gold digger to take my money. And while I look at the people in Williamsburg with envy at there lifestyle and bliss, I also look at them with a sort of sadness. In the end we are all going to the same destination, does it matter who has more great grandkids when we get there?

Why Tznius, and not something more relevant?

2009-08-20T09:10:00.003-04:00

Have you ever wondered why the Rabbunim focus so much on modesty at the expense of things that might be much more important on a social level? When it comes to swine flu, stolen funds, and fraud wouldn't it make more sense to focus on things like hygiene, not stealing, and honesty?

The answer is No.

It is true that many people need to work on hygiene so as not to smell like a toilet filled with excrement and catch all sorts of wonderful toilet related illnesses. It is true that many people may take office supplies every now and again, even when they are not supposed to. It is also true that many people do things that may or may not be considered fraud in the books of American Law.

However, not everyone is guilty of these things. For the most part we are righteous and upstanding people who want to do what is lawfully right.

But when that hot looking woman starts walking down the street in her revealing attire leaving very little to the imagination, I don't know any warm blooded man who doesn't look and think to himself... Even if only for a second.

And I don't know one girl who wakes up on a summer morning and says, "You know what? Today, on this 100 degree day, I'm going to wear long sleeves and love it." While there may be people in Williamsburg who think this way, I highly doubt it.

It may be true that some people rob, cheat, and steal. It is definitely true that we all "follow our eyes."

For all of you who cry about the fact that the Rabbunim don't focus on the issues that seem important, ask yourself this: How much of these issues (hygiene, stealing, and honesty in business) do you personally need to work on? Then ask yourself how much you need to work on the issues the Rabbunim are talking about. Next time you see an unshowered person walk into a store and steal some swine flu medication without paying sales tax be sure to tell me about it. I'm sure cows will fly first, and I'm sure that person isn't YOU.

While there probably is something more relevant to talk about that Tznius, skirt lengths, and wandering eyes, how much more fun is it to talk about "the horrors" of scantily clad women?

Are you "wholly Jewish"?

2009-08-19T23:45:00.007-04:00

It is necessary for him [the Jew seeking wholeness] to free himself from those stupid claims that would impose Juda- "ism" on him as a canon of definite, circumscribed 'Jewish duties" (vulgar orthodoxy), or 'Jewish tasks" (vulgar Zionism), or-God forbid-"Jewish ideas" (vulgar liberalism). If he has prepared himself quite simply to have everything that happens to him, inwardly and outwardly, happen to him in a Jewish way-his vocation, his nationality, his marriage, and even, if that has to be, his Juda-"ism"-then he may he certain that with the simple assumption of that infinite "pledge" he will become in reality ''wholly Jewish."

And there is indeed no other way to become completely Jewish; the Jewish human being arises in no other way. All recipes, whether Zionist, orthodox, or liberal, produce caricatures of men, that become more ridiculous the more closely the recipes are followed. And a caricature of a man is also a caricature of a Jew; for as a Jew one cannot separate the one from the other. There is one recipe alone that can make a person Jewish and hence because he is a Jew and destined to a Jewish life-a full human being... Our fathers had a beautiful word for it that says everything: confidence.

-Franz Rosenzweig in "Toward a Renaissance of Jewish Learning" p. 66

This was written in the early 1920s in Pre-Holocaust Germany. How much of this comment do you think still holds true today in ''Our" present day Jewish community for present day Jews?

Let me be your friend or (A well meaning friend)

2009-08-14T00:20:00.003-04:00

I'll tell you where you're goin wrong

Make sure you are goin Right

Keep you on the right path

I'll tell you what job to take

What a wife that one will make

you know she's not good for you

Seems like my bashert to me.

Chorus: Let me be your friend
Let me be your friend
Let me be your friend.

I know you hate me now

you'll probably thank me later

I know what you really want

I know who you should marry

I know what is good for you

exactly what you should do.

I know what job you should take

What a life you should make

chorus....

I value our friendship so much

Your'e the idiot

I'm the know much

You are lucky I'm around

Without me you would drown.

So what, I married the one you love?

That I took the job you wanted

I took the extra puff.

I only had you in mind.

Ain't You Happy NOW?

chorus....

This is not friendship.

It's servitude

I'm the slave, you're the master.

You think you know what's good for me

All I want is to be set free.

I know who I should marry

The job I should take

the risks I should carry.

While I may not be as wise or smart

My choices

My dignity

My life

Make my ignorance redemption in the sunlight.

Why I like Obama's Health Plan

2009-08-12T22:54:00.003-04:00

I like free stuff.

I don't care where it comes from.

I may have to pay for it in the future,

But what the hell?

It's cheap now.

And who cares about the rich who will have to pay?

I'm not that rich.

I think the plan is the worst thing for the country.

But Gosh Darn it, I want it anyway.

Because I'm selfish.

In a perfect world there would be no government to take advantage of people and steal their money to finance other people's spending.

But that day is Not today.

Today, Robin Hood is in the White House and the rich gots no where to run.

F*#$ morality, I'm gonna get me some

subsidized Health care.

You are all full of it !!!

2009-08-11T22:48:00.004-04:00

I am shocked and outraged. I don't understand how something like this could happen in our community. We who pride ourselves on being the upright stand up citizens that the world should look to for guidance. Have we really sunk so low?

And our leaders, they are not much better. The leaders of last generation could at least put a sentence together in a coherent fashion. Our leaders can't even speak loud enough to tell the people talking in Shul to be quiet. It really boggles my mind.

First there was the chickens, now the roosters laying eggs, something has to be done before it is too late. This outrage has gotten out of control and eventually someone will have to get up and take a stand for the truth that we all believe in.

I understand some people sitting in an apathetic haze, imagining themselves above all the nonsensical politics, but someone should know better. It's not like we are asking for very much, just your second child, not your first born. Is that too much to ask?

People in this generation take too much for granted. They take it for granted that they can say whatever the hell they want, to whomever the hell they want, and no one will give a damn. Everyone is outraged about something or another, and it is time that this outrage come to an end.

People just should not have to be subjected to the nonsensical ramblings of random upset nut jobs who sit in their basement, or studio, or house, or office, or prison cell, and tell them what is wrong with the world. Because in the end, what is really wrong with the world if you have your head stuffed so far up your Tuchus you can't tell green from brown.

It really is that simple.

So I implore each and every one of you to call your congressman and tell him you care about this important issue. If you are one of those unfortunate individuals who can not think, and therefore do not live in the wonderful US of A, get on a plane as quick as you can and move to America. We need more people like you to solve our problems.

For all of you who are sitting there wondering, "Hey, what's going on? Where is the deep philosophy we have come to expect and ignore?" Don't worry, I'm sure there is some deep message that you can piece together from all of these wonderful words.

But in case it wasn't clear enough. All you big people, with all your big complaints about the world, can weigh your words on a scale and see how much they weigh. More than your second born son? I think not. Your approval or disapproval in regard to whatever the Gadol or political leader happened to do or not do really makes no difference. You could have said just the opposite opinion and we all would have been equally entertained for the few seconds it took us all to read it. Your views that you so eloquently write to make people agree with you in how horrible the world happens to be now that Obama is in the White House, the greatest Gadol in the world passed away, the second greatest Gadol in the world banned or didn't ban vacations, you were constipated all day and couldn't take a dump. That is all it is, your little views. Meaningless. Founded in nothing but your own subjective view of the world and not binding on anyone in any way.

Get off your soapbox, your moral high horse, and pick up a shovel in the real world. (The irony is in the hypocrisy.)

Fear; is that ALL?

2009-08-08T21:11:00.003-04:00

Take a look at two verses in this past week's Parsha.

And now, Yisroel, what does Hashem your God require of you? Only that you fear Hashem your God, to walk in all His ways, and to love Him, and to serve Hashem your God with all your heart and with all your soul; to keep the commandments of Hashem, and His statutes, which I command thee this day,for your good.(D'varim 10:12/13)

So basically God wants us to fear Him, do what He does, love Him, serve Him with all our heart and soul, and keep his commandments and statutes. In the end, we are told that this is all for our good.

So what's with the "ONLY" at the beginning of the whole thing? It seems like God is asking a lot from us. If I asked anyone to do similar, and prefaced it with the word "only", you'd think I was off the wall.

Rashi, seeing the problem inherent in the pasuk, says, "Even though you did all this, His mercy and His affection are still upon you, and with all that you have sinned against Him, He demands nothing of you, except only to fear..." and "Our Rabbis derived from this verse that everything is in the hands of Heaven except the fear of Heaven." Basically, the people in the dessert have been so bad, yet God still loves them, and all God asks is that they fear him. Through this fear everything else will follow. He reads the first part of the verse as the main part, and everything else as secondary.

The simple reading though, and the reading that doesn't remove all free will from humanity, is that God is asking the world of us. Even when asking the world of us, it is implied that there is something more we could be giving, something that God is not demanding of us, but something we could be giving never the less. I wonder what it is that "כִּי אִם" excludes?

If I learned more, I probably would have the answer...

Structure or Chaos?

2009-08-06T15:18:00.000-04:00

You have got to ask yourself one question. Are things really as straight forward as they seem? There are prophesies that tell what is to come in the future. They are cloudy formulas that once read can give up the secrets of the future. All you need is the proper perspective and you will be able to know all that will come. Nothing is unknown, all is told. Is this the way the world works?

Perhaps the world is not like that at all. Perhaps all has not been told, all has not been written by the prophets of the past. Every action we take can have meaning in the unknowable tomorrow. Even visions given to people of wisdom are only glimpses of a possible changing future. Even the word of God is subject to his people’s choices on this world.

There are two extremes that a person can choose from. There is the extreme of determinism on the one hand telling people to act in such a way to be on the good side of a certain tomorrow. There really is nothing a person can do to change the future; all a person can do is try to have the right intentions. There is complete freedom on the other hand telling a person that nothing really matters; anything is possible, and one way or another it’s all good. On the one hand there is complete Structure; on the other hand-Chaos.

While there is no real practical application to this question, even if either extreme is true, a person cannot live a sane life adhering to either of them. It is an interesting question to think about.

Being eaten inside from uncertainty: existential angst

2009-08-04T01:50:00.000-04:00

When you know what is right, all is Good with the world. You know your place, you know who you are, and you know what you are supposed to do. When you don't know what is right, then you have a problem. What should you do, what should you not do? Every choice is trivial, every choice is humongous. Where to go shopping goes from a simple question of, one place is good and the other place is not, to one of Where Do I Go?

Frumkeit, Religious Judaism, gives structure, everything has a right and a wrong thing to do. Do one thing, you do right by God; do something else and you have sinned. People who live righteous lives know that they are doing the right thing, they never have a question of what to do. If such a question ever comes up it is in the realm of, what does God want me to do. Personal responsibility is shifted onto God. But then, isn't God the thing that makes it matter in the first place?

The thing is, even with the conception of God in a person's mind, one still has the big question in his mind, What do I do? Saying that it is the will of God doesn't answer the question. Because, Why should I listen to God? Koheles answers that very question at the end, "The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God, and keep his commandments; for that is the whole duty of everyone." But then, since when has purpose and duty meant anything? Even a slave has the free will to do what he wants, irrespective of the wishes of the master.

A child knows what he has to do; he has to balance the pursuit of short term fun vs. the long term wisdom of the will of his parents. The parent has the power of punishment to make the long term wisdom felt in the short term. So playing with matches is punished with a smack, because even though the child didn't burn the house down now, the wisdom of the parent says that such behavior is conducive to an eventual outcome that is undesirable. The problem is playing with matches is fun, and that fun can be considered of more value than the standing house. It is only because the child can not make real value judgments on his own that the parent has to step in and restrict the child's action.

But we are not children. The power to judge between the value of the fun from playing with matches can be weighed against the perceived value of the house. In fact, without automatic reward and punishment by the hand of God, that this is exactly what God wants of us. "I call heaven and earth to witness against you today:I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. So that you and your children shall live, Choose Life."(Deuteronomy 30:19) Even though the heavens and earth are witnesses, the choice is ultimately left up to us. God has told us his will; do what he wants and get life, do otherwise and get death. But the choice of proverbial death is never taken away. One can always choose not to listen to the will of God.

Responsibility can not be shifted onto God. God leaves the choice up to us. We could listen to God, we could not listen to God. Many people think that just by saying that they are listening to God takes away all responsibility from the consequences of their actions. This is not the case. The choice is still there, it never goes away.

This is not my own thinking, but I am thinking of these ideas.

The MeMe you love, Or 7 things you love

2009-08-03T02:40:00.001-04:00

Before listing 7 things that I love, first I must define love. For what is more depressing than putting love in a little box of definition? What is love? Ok, the question seems a little too much for me at this time of night. I guess I'll just have to leave the question of love for another time. Perhaps when...

Anyway... I've been tagged in a meme by Moshe and Mak, they both want to know

7 things I Love

I love Biking. Sitting in the saddle for hours and hours, moving my feet, feeling the power of each rotation of the wheel moving me from one place to another. The feeling as my muscles exerts itself to push me up the hill. The exhilaration as I fly down the hill at speeds so fast that I am afraid my bike will tip over from the wind. The short stop as I miss hitting an old lady walking across the street. The swerving between cars as they honk their horns in frustration. The pain of the fall as my bike tips over, spilling me on to the pavement. A cracked tooth, and getting up and riding again.
I love to read fiction. For most of us reality consists of a routine done so many times it becomes second nature. Eventually the monotony encompasses all aspects of life until everything is swallowed up by the boredom inherent in the routine. Fiction is an escape from that monotony, and I love my escape.
I love to argue till I see both sides. There is nothing more gratifying than arguing a point out loud till a conclusion is reached. Worlds move as topics are discussed. Emotions flare. Reason gets sharpened. A more truer understanding of how things work is reached in both parties' minds. Even where one side wins an argument, there is usually a better understanding of the position after the argument is won.
I love food. Some people eat to live. I live to eat. There are not many things in this world that can be said to be ends in of themselves. I think food and it's consumption is one of those things. From choosing what to eat, to purchasing the food, to preparing it, to consuming it, each step of the process gives its own little reward. The smell, the taste, even all the steps in the digestion process, I revel in it, and enjoy every moment.
I love Hashem. Like a child who sometimes tells his parents No when they ask for something, I love Hashem. Like a captain of a ship that ignores his navigator and goes with his gut, I love Hashem. As the heart loves the brain, so I love Hashem. As the farmer loves the rain, though he has to run in doors to protect his Shabbos clothing, I love Hashem. As a child grown old loves the former smack of his father, I love Hashem.
I love Shabbos. Because for one day a week there is no physical construction, only mental and psychological development. And because there is nothing like a Shabbos nap, even if you did sleep half the week away.
I love me. If I were not myself, who would I be? I would not be able to say "I" and mean the same person writing these words. Without love of self who are you as a person? Are you even a person at all?

And so goes what I love, at the moment. Subject to change without notice, terms and conditions apply. To all my friends on my Blogroll, If you have not done this wonderful labor of love, consider yourself tagged.

What is left for Religion?

2009-08-02T02:24:00.000-04:00

It used to be the saying "delve into it, and keep delving into it, because all is in it" meant something. The Torah contained everything, and it was unquestioned. If you had a question on any subject you looked into the Torah, or one of the commentaries, for an answer. As a document revealed by God, it was expected that all the answers be contained in it. While there were a few people that looked to the natural world for answers to life's questions, for the most part people relied on their religion for the last word on what to do, as well as the answers to all of life's little problems. It is true that today there are some people who still do this when it comes to all of their questions in life,but by and large this is no longer the case. In fact, people that live there lives by looking into the Torah, or any book for that matter, for the answers to their questions are look at some what silly by everyone else in the world.

I had a Rebbe in 10th Grade who would say,"the Torah is not a story book." The implication being that there was more to the Torah that a mere list of entertaining stories. The truth is though, that for many many years all the stories ever told to children were stories from the Torah. There was no such thing in a religious household of secular stories, everything that was told over to the children came from Torah sources.

Just as Torah was used as a source of stories, it was also used as a source of history,ethics,medicine,natural history, and any other type of source imaginable. In every use that can be imagined, Torah was used. As a tradition handed down from God himself, what reason could there be for not using the Torah to answer all of life's questions?

Along the way something changed. Medical advice started coming from people who study medicine. Stories started coming from people who made up stories. History started coming from Historians. Science started coming from scientists. Philosophy started coming from Philosophers. Specialization in disciplines took away from religion the crown of "Only source." While in the beginning the Torah was quoted as source for these various studies, in the end the study of the subject itself through pure observation, and not the Torah, became the source of Truth in every subject. It was then that apologetics was born to reconcile the Torah with the new Truth of Science. Ever since that day religion has been on the run. Instead of science having to adhere to religion, religion now has to adhere to science, and little by little religion has been chewed away at.

What void is Religion left to fill?

Philosophy stole God. Psychology stole Mussar. Law and Economics stole the Halachos of proper business practice. Science of all kinds took the cloak of God off the world and left the world naked for all to see. Where once people said "O'say Ma'say Bereshis" with awe of the the greatness of God through his creations, now all that is left is natural phenomena which God happened to create.

I understand the Hasidim who refuse to teach secular studies in their schools. You get a full Religion as it was for hundreds of years. The cost is students who don't hesitate when asked to smuggle drugs, in the form of deliver a package with out asking any questions. The cost is the going to a Rebbe when you have a medical question at the risk of not first going to someone who has studied medicine their whole life. The cost is not being part of the "real world."

I understand the Reform Jew who wants to embrace the compartments and live totally in the real world. Is anyone the same at work as they are at home?

What I can't understand is the Orthodox/Modern Orthodox/Conservative view which wants its cake and wants to eat it too. Once the academic disciplines are done chopping up everything what is left for the Real World Religious Jew?

It's Tisha B'Av, AGAIN.

2009-07-29T22:39:00.001-04:00

Have a meaningful fast, have an easy fast, have a fast fast. Everybody says something, as if just wishing someone well will take away the fact that for 25 hours we all are going to have to go without food and water.

Fast days are supposed to mean something. They are supposed to be about more than abstaining from food and water, they are supposed to be meaningful. While each person takes there own meaning out of every occurrence, fasts are generally supposed to be about reflection and self/communal improvement. We are each supposed to look deep within ourselves and see what needs work, what is lacking, and on Tisha B'Av specifically mourn the fact that the sins that brought the Beis HaMikdash down are still being perpetuated today in each and every one of us.

What do we do on fast days?

We sleep the hours away and wait till it's over.

We watch movies to pass the time till we can stuff our faces.

We read a long book.

We shmooze with our friends.

We do anything but think about what brought us here in the first place.

The reason for this laxity in my mind stems from the fact that we all feel comfortable. Life is good, the sources of our suffering are somewhat behind us, and who can imagine the return of animal sacrifice?

A few days ago, I did a post asking why we cry, and why we don't move on. Things are so good for the Jewish people right now. It seems like only a small technicality preventing the building of the Beis HaMikdash. It's not like the Jewish people don't own Jerusalem.

Then I read the article in the NY Times. It seems the world has never really accepted the Jewish/Israeli ownership of Jerusalem. Obama wants to stop what they call 'settlements', building new buildings on land that is rightfully a part of Israel. And while Israel goes ahead and continues to build, the nations of the world, Jews among them, protest. It seems there is more than a technicality preventing the redemption. There is a world apposed and only the hand of God can help.

Then I read about the scandals that have erupted within the supposedly Orthodox population. These are people who wear the mantle of holiness, yet commit crimes as if the verse, "You shall be holy" only applies to not looking at woman's knees. Redemption seems like just a step further away.

We are supposed to be the light onto the nations, the shining example of how a people should live their lives. We are supposed to stand there as the bastion of true morality, how people should want to live their lives, and people are supposed to hate us for it. They are supposed to hate what we represent, because we are supposed to represent a moral ideal that everyone else rejects as unattainable.

Yet everybody loves the Jews. Antisemitism is down all around. Even the Arabs embrace the Neturai Karta; they claim only to hate Zionists, not all Jews.

The world embraces hypocrisy as it's ideal. Politics is used to steal money, and create laws that serve the people in power. The Jewish people have always adhered to a law that was much more than the will of any one group of people. The Jewish people have always supposed to be the fortress that hypocrisy could never penetrate. The only thing the hypocrites could ever do was express their hate in any way they could. Death and destruction have befallen the Jewish people for centuries because of it. Even as we cried at the loss of our Holy Temple, as a people, we never gave in to hypocrisy, we stuck to the law.

Now, as in Germany prior to WWII, things are comfortable for the Jewish people. We have given in to the hypocrisy that rules the nations. As a people we have been rewarded for it. On the surface everyone loves the Jewish people. Even while many Jews are shown to be crooks, the nations understand that it is not the whole Jewish people who are at fault, just a few bad apples. Yet, the real rot rests in all of us. As a community we sit by and let things happen, as individuals we sit by and say that it is someone else's job to take care of, as leaders we point to our congregants and ask them to fix themselves. Yet, the rot is in each one of us, we have accepted the acceptance of the nations as a sign of good times, when in reality they are really a sign of deterioration.

I am as guilty as the next guy. I sit and watch movies on the fast day and wait for the time when I can eat. I sleep and think thoughts having nothing to do with the theme of the day. I perpetuate the evils that have brought us to this place. I speak evil of others. I fight uselessly. I hate without just cause. I am as guilty as the next guy.

Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch attributed the fall to a lack of learning on behalf of the people. Lack of learning leads to lack of practice which eventually leads to a loss of religion altogether. Yet, today the Yeshivas are filled with people learning. So filled in fact there is no money to keep them there. But I know that I personally don't learn. I know that I personally have a lack in practice when it comes to many things. I know that deep down I too add to the rot that lies under the surface of a sparkly clean Jewish nation. I too am a hypocrite.

On one hand I wonder why we are crying, because things are so good. On the other hand I know that change for the worse is just around the corner, and I am part of that decline. When the scandals came out, I laughed. When they burned garbage out of their misplaced convictions, I laughed. I laughed because I thought I was better. Stupid little people getting caught doing stupid little things. I of course know better, I know how to act. But I don't. I fall short of being the bastion of morality as much as the next.

In Eicha, we cry out for Hashem to remember us, to see our suffering, to know our pain. We know where all the pain comes from. מִפִּי עֶלְיוֹן לֹא תֵצֵא, הָרָעוֹת וְהַטּוֹב. We know that good and bad come from Hashem. נַחְפְּשָׂה דְרָכֵינוּ וְנַחְקֹרָה, וְנָשׁוּבָה We even know the way to get back on the good side. נַחְנוּ פָשַׁעְנוּ וּמָרִינוּ, אַתָּה לֹא סָלָחְתָּ. Yet, we continue to sin and rebel, and Hashem has not forgiven.

As a people, each one of us have faults, ways in which we don't reach that ideal of the pinnacle of morality. We all fall short. For some of us it is learning and keeping the Law. For others it may be denial of the law altogether. While I know that there are so many things I could be doing on Tisha B'Av, I know in the end I will probably end up reading a book and sleeping half the day away. And another Tisha B'Av will go by. Like many people, I too have embraced the hypocrisy. I see the world for how it is, yet I can not build up the will to do anything about it. I see the writing on the wall, I read the history and see the parallels between our time and previous generations. I see the calm before the storm.

In the end though, it all boils down to

Have an easy, if not meaningful, fast.

Dad and Lad chat

2009-07-29T15:15:00.004-04:00

"Hey Dad, Why do bad things happen to good people?"

"Well Son, it's like this, there are many bad people in the world. They hide the evil that they do from the world. They rob, cheat, and steal. For a long time they get away with it, but eventually there comes a time when all their vileness catches up with them. And then they get punished. So you see, bad things really only happen to bad people."

"But Dad, that doesn't make any sense. There can't be so many bad people, can there? I mean, I'm good and last year I got my arm broken in three places."

"We'll that's just because you were acting stupid. You shouldn't have been climbing that fence in the first place. As for all those other people, they were either evil at heart or just stupid, I guess."

"So the world is basically populated by evil stupid people?"

"Basically."

"Dad, where do babies come from?"

"Well Son, I'm glad you asked. Finally a subject I'm comfortable discussing."

Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch on why we still mourn on Tisha B'Av

2009-07-27T12:14:00.003-04:00

Page 346 But what then..... till the end of the piece.

Narrate the awkward silence

2009-07-27T01:14:00.004-04:00

Can you hear the silence screaming out from the corner of the room, demanding to be heard? Can you hear the voices, unspoken, were it not for the penetrating eyes? Can you describe the feeling of a world in a vacuum?

Silence.

Like the Nothing that God separated to create the heavens and the earth. Like that feeling of an empty stomach, full on the breath of life. Like pulling a metaphor from the sky and hoping it fits the context.

There is beauty in that silence. Potential in the Nothing.

even

Silence

speaks volumes.

The 9 days: For what do we cry?

2009-07-22T10:24:00.007-04:00

If anyone finds a point in mourning what happened almost 2000 years ago please tell me. Personally I don't understand. It seems kind of useless if you ask me. Shouldn't we be trying to get over our loss, moving on with some hope for a better tomorrow. Shouldn't we be appreciative for all the good things that we have in this day and age, and less focused on the fact that we don't have some idealized version of what used to be. The Jewish people have spent more time in history without a Holy Temple in existence than with it in existence.

Many say that we are mourning because the sins that our forefathers did are still being perpetuated by us, thereby preventing God's presence from being with us. We don't love each other as much as we should. Many of us harbor in our hearts thoughts of baseless hatred toward one another. We throw rocks and burning garbage at people we consider sinners. We talk about people in shul behind their backs. We ignore people who offer us a Gut Shabbos. We don't give charity to people we think maybe lazy.

To remedy this situation we spend 9 days without showering.

Perhaps there is a little disconnect between the goal and the method to get to the goal. Personally I don't see how not showering, not swimming, and not traveling will stop people from hating each other's guts. Perhaps if we all smell we wont hate the other smelly people? Perhaps through our body odors we will bring the Moshiach? Personally, I doubt it.

We sat and wept by the rivers of Babylon as we remembered Tzion. We hung up our harps in the willows; When our captures, sarcastically said,"Sing for us, Sing for us the songs of Tzion." But how can we sing the song of Hashem on foreign soil?

Once I start forgetting Yerushalayim I will lose my strength. If I forget, my tounge will become stuck. If I should ever consider any joy above the joy of Yerushalayim.

O God, Remember when the children of Edom said, "Rip it down to it's very foundations." The fate of Bavel is sealed, for anyone that returns the misery to them as they did to us will find happiness and praise. Happiness, when your children are grabbed and dashed to pieces on the rocks. (Psalm 137- my own translation)

Everyday during the 9 days we sing this Psalm. We cry for the loss of the idealized Jerusalem, and we wish destruction on her enemies. Ironically, we are singing it, though the verse implies extreme sadness at the idea of singing a song of God on foreign soil. But also, and this is more important, there is no mention of unbiased hatred. In fact, just the opposite, we express happiness at the death of the innocent children born to our enemies. If that is not the biggest expression of hatred, I don't know what is.

For what do we cry? Is it for Jerusalem? After so many years, the city is back in Jewish hands; and yet still we cry. For the enemies of old? Babylon is Gone, their children dashed against many rocks in the annals of history. Rome too is no more. Even the Nazis are dead. History is littered with the remnants of all the people that have tried to kill out the Jews.

We sit and wait for the Moshiach. "We want Moshiach NOW, We want Moshiach Now, and we don't want to wait." When expressing the sentiment that I do many people respond, "when Moshiach comes Tisha B'Av will become a happy day." What will change when Moshiach comes? What is it that we wait for? We are living in times that are better for the Jewish People than could have been imagined by anyone even prior to the destruction of the Bais HaMikdash. Yet still we cry.

I ask, for what do we cry?

Frank McCourt RIP

2009-07-21T00:15:00.003-04:00

I remember reading Angela's Ashes in my freshman year of college. I remember thinking how great the book was, a story that really spoke to me though I did not live through any similar circumstances. When the opportunity came to meet the author after he came to speak, I stood on line for quite a while to shake the hand of Frank McCourt.

I went on to read both his other works, 'Tis And Teacher Man, and I loved those books too. Teacher Man even made me want to dream of being an English teacher. And even though all I got was one class into English teaching, the way he describes how he connected with his students still inspires.

When I looked at the news and saw that he had passed on at an age of 78 I was still sad. He had a full life, but even with people who have full lives there is sadness in their passing. Yet the best tribute you can pay to an author is to read the books that they produce. In this way who they were lives on in the reader. So buy his books, and read about the life of someone worth reading about. I am sure you will enjoy his story as much as I did.

Can people Change? A dialogue

2009-07-20T22:00:00.000-04:00

My position: True change is Impossible.

MAK's Position: People can change themselves.

You decide.

Me: It takes a special type of person to change the world; it takes a person with commitment to a vision of what is to be. It takes a person who is willing to undergo sacrifices, and it takes a person of courage to keep going when things seem to be going the wrong way. These same attributes of a hero, ready to change the world, are also necessary to change one’s self. In order to create true planned systematic change in one’s person, one must have the same character traits as a world changing hero. For what is a person, if not a miniature world standing on the back of God?

The problem is that most people don’t possess these heroic character traits. How many people do you know who have tried to get on a diet, only to fail miserably after a short time? How many people do you know start out with a goal in mind, only to give up when the going gets tough? How many people do you know that don’t really have what it takes to make true changes in themselves? Most people out there in the real world are just too lazy and unfocused to achieve any sort of real personal goals. They may buy books on the subject of self help, they may read Mussar Sfarim like Misilas Yisharim over and over, they may even pray to God for guidance in working on specific overall character traits, but all these things only go so far as the buying of the book, the Mussar session, or the prayer. True miraculous change for the most part is impossible.

MAK: I think that is a VERY negative view of people. People do have it within them to change. You can say each person is a world unto themselves, and each person is given a chance, an ABILITY to become greater than what they are. Whether they feel they are willing to make those sacrifices to achieve that goal is one thing, but there is no doubt that as a human being, they CAN achieve greatness, even by changing one small trait.

Me: That may be so but the ability to change doesn't mean that it will take place. For the most part people don't change. People remain who they are unchanging in habit and in attitude. It is only within the context of small actions that we can judge the measure of a person. It is not Change in mind, but choice of action that can be judged.

MAK: OK, but who are we to be the judge? Maybe what we see as being just the smallest of changes has made a huge difference in not only that person's life, but the lives of everyone who interacts with them on a day to day basis. And by that change, maybe they did go onto greater changes. What we see is once small slice of a person's life, not who they were, or who they will become. If given incentive, and motivation, anyone can change. And if given the "good enough" reason, anyone WOULD change.

Me: Perhaps, however aren't we made up of all the little actions. The intrinsic nature of a person doesn't change, however a person can decide to act against his nature at times when things seem prudent. This isn't change. I can still be a person who eats a lot even if I am now dieting out of necessity. Even after many years of avoiding alcohol, an alcoholic is still an alcoholic and can lose his sobriety with one drink. You are right, we can’t judge the overall person. That is in the hands of God and self. And even God judges actions for what they are, and not some overall sense of who the person is. If a person channels his personality to do Mitzvos, does it matter that he isn't the most pure of heart? Isn't the outcome the thing that counts and not who the person IS?

MAK: Yes, you have a definite point there, after all, I recall hearing a story, a king asked for a portrait of Moshe, and he had one of his wise men, a man who could read a man's face and tell his personality, read Moshe's face. The wise man told the king that this was the face of a man who was haughty and filled with greed. The king was astonished, how could this be? A short while later, he met a Rabbi (I think this took place a while after the whole chumash) and he asked him. He said that while it was true all that the wise man had said, Moshe had worked on himself to such an extent that he had risen over his base nature.

Me: Yes, but you use that story to prove that a person can truly change. Moshe was one of the people who changed the world, is it so surprising that he changed himself too? The point is for the regular person, living life in the day to day, getting up doing their own thing, is the goal to be personal change, or is the goal to be individual actions judged for themselves? For many people change is impossible. Are we to call these people failures just because they get angry from time to time, or perhaps they get jealous of what another person has, or perhaps some other character "flaw"?

MAK: All right, I can see what you’re saying, but then again, the great majority of people don't SEE a reason to change the way they are. They're comfortable. And change can be very uncomfortable. It means they'd have to really confront some unpleasant truths. People don't like doing that. They'd rather stayed wrapped up in their own little bubble. But sometimes, that bubble gets popped, and then they are forced to see the reality, and come to terms with it and realize they MUST change. A good example is a severely overweight man, who was just told by his doctor that he must lose weight. He goes "yeah, sure doc I will," but doesn't really see any good reason. And then he suffers a stroke. And it hits him, if he doesn't change, he might never see his kids grow up. Going back to what I said before, people must be given a reason that's "good enough."

Me: Suppose though that he makes a commitment to lose lots of weight, suppose he keeps it off for many years, but every single food item he wants to eat. Every moment is a test. Has he truly changed, or is he fighting a battle every moment, most of which he happens to win?

MAK: But that’s the point, change IS the battle. You’re saying that change is one thing, never altering. What I’m saying is that change is a constant choice. It never eases up. There is always going to be that battle, it may get easier as time goes on, it may not. But change is the commitment to keep fighting that battle no matter what. People are capable of this. But, as outsiders, not having the ability to read someone’s mind, how are we to know whether it is true change? We can’t. We can only guess based on what we see and what that person chooses to show.

Me: You are absolutely right, how can we know if a person is a hidden Moshe Rabbainu?

Religion is the source of all evil

2009-07-18T23:18:00.000-04:00

Now that I got your attention, don't take the title the wrong way ( it is very misleading) .

A couple of questions:

1. If religion didn't exist would there be a title of "evil"? Or since religious law dictates that certain things are wrong that creates the definition of "evil".
2. If "evil" is an independent entity (independent of religion) , how would you define it? How is it independent from religion?
3. If you agree with the "question 2" route: What would one have to do to be evil and why is what you are doing intrinsically evil?

I am of the opinion that evil only exists in a religious belief system.

Without laws created by God why should anything be classified as evil? Why should "morally wrong" exist in a society where morals are made by man? What should give man the right to define what is and is not morally correct? Unless morality takes upon a whole new definition of being whatever man determines it to be, which could be subject to change every generation.

So in a sense my title wasn't misleading at all. Religion is truly the source of all evil, because without it evil wouldn't exist.

If you disagree, I will be glad to hear your comments on the matter.

Moshe knows the answers :-)

2009-07-17T19:07:00.002-04:00

A few posts back I asked some big questions for people to think about. Well it seems Moshe knows all the answers. (He commented, but I thought this deserved a post of it's own.) Good Shabbos, Y'All.

What do we mean by G-d?
The dude upstairs
What is the Torah?
A book, available in the library.
Why is the Torah so important?
It's pretty old and people been reading it all those time.
How can we prove the existence of G-d?
Shoot yourself and you'll find out.
How do we know that G-d created the world?
Someone had to create it.
Does it make a difference if we believe in G-d?
Yes, being enemies with the dude who created everything can be very bad for your health.
Why do/don't we believe in the Theory of Evolution?
Because G-d doesn't like open miracles and so he used Evolution.
How do we know that G-d still runs the world?
See question 4
What is a Jew and what is Judaism?
Judaism is a religion/ethnicity and a Jew is follower of Judaism, whether of religion or ethnicity.
Why doesn't life seem to run more perfectly more in line with Jewish beliefs?
Who says it doesn't? Nobody forcing you to work on shabbat or holidays, in fact it's illegal.
How do we know the Torah is authentic?
It's got G-d's seal on it.
Why isn't there immediate reward and punishment?
Because it wouldn't be as fun in the long run.
Why is there pain and suffering?
Because people are stupid.
How do we know that the Torah is G-d given?
No sane man would come up with something so complicated.
What is the Source of Jewish law?
Torah
Are the Torah laws old-fashioned?
Considering G-d gave them? Seriously, do you really wanna mess with the big dude?
Why are there many separate branches of Judaism?
Because every Jew thinks he's G-d's chosen.
What is the rationale behind Shabbos and Yom Tov, Kashrus, Tefillah, Tefillin, Tzitzis, Yarmulkah, and Mezuzah,....?
R&R, R&R while being to smoke hookah and go to meals with kids, make sure no rat in your food, where else would people talk, chi,
so that INS doesn't mistake us for Mexicans, if you've seen childish or me I think you know the answer, looks nice.
Are there rationales for the Mitzvos all together?
Yes.
What is the role of the Jewish woman, and are why are women different than men in Jewish life?
To support the husband while he hangs out with his friends, smokes and drinks coffee all day. Because after making them work, take care of kids, the house and the cooking, making them do all the mitzvos would be just mean.
What is wrong with assimilation?
Then you won't be Jewish and won't get the Jew gold.
Why do Jews reject Jesus as a Messiah, Mohammad as the one true prophet, and L Ron Hubbard as the answer to getting our thetans to a higher level?
We were here first. And I have nothing against Jesus and Mohammad, they're both very good workers Jesus is even a citizen. L Ron Hubbard stole that idea from me...man it was some good weed we were smoking.

The Irony of the Israeli protests

2009-07-17T12:19:00.005-04:00

A mother beats up her child and the country beats each other up. That's the story that is going on in Israel. I find it amusing that the women is accused of having a illness where she seeks attention through hurting her children, and now she is getting so much attention through people's violence in her name. Ironic, No?

People are being Michalel Shabbos, and in order to stop the Chillul Shabbos the people make Shabbos an unpleasant experience for everyone. Don't they realize that the best way to bring people to Observance is to show them the beauty of Observance? By protesting in such a fashion all they are doing is widening the gap between the observant and the non-observant. Less people will be convinced of the beauty of Shabbos. Ironic, No?

It is my opinion that everyone involved in these protests are acting not out of righteous fervor, but out of sinful glee. They know what they are doing is wrong, yet they do so anyway because it seems like a fun thing to do. Most of these people do not have legitimate employment, and they therefore have lots of free time on their hands. With no TV, Internet, scantily clad women to look at, or any other forms of real entertainment these people are bored out of their minds. While many of these people s/could be learning in Yeshiva, even Yeshiva gets boring if you stay there long enough. It is the diligent soul that can keep up with the rigorous sedarim that a real Yeshiva should have. So, bored and powered with the latest craze, they take to the streets in protest.

Then, we get the Neturei Karta's visit to Hamas, another nonsensical gesture. They side with the people who commit violence. Then they commit violence themselves; the women who instigated the protests is a member of the Neturei Karta. Could it be that these protests are nothing more than an extension of the Neturei Karta/Palestinian agenda to make all the Jews in Israel miserable?

In order to protest what their own people are doing, they side with the very people who would indiscriminately kill them.
Ironic, No?

When Moshiach Ben Yosef comes riding on his donkey and get's blown up by a Palastinian gunman, what will the Neturei Karta say?

When Moshiach Ben David comes to pick up the pieces, how many Neturei Karta will be around to see it? When you deal with the enemy agianst your own people, you become the enemy.

In the end of the day, it's all about boredom. If I had nothing better to do, I'd probably also be trowing stones and granades.

A Jew, Jainist, and Muslim walk into a store: Similarities and Differences

2009-07-15T01:44:00.002-04:00

It amazes me how God runs the world. After having written a post about examining why we do what we do, today I was asked on multiple occasions about the laws of Kashrus-by non-Jewish people. I spoke to a Muslim fellow about how people today know nothing about real biblical history- the story of Abraham, Isaac, and David killing Galiath. Before that, I spoke to a Jainist storekeeper about fasting, Yom Kippur, and what Kosher means. It truly is important to understand were exactly you fit in, in the scheme of things.

I got to work and went to the refrigerator to get a can of soda. One of my coworkers went to get a Redbull. A discussion ensued about how you know something is or is not kosher, with me playing find the Kashrus symbol on the can of Sprite Zero, (hint-it’s on the top of the can with the amount you have to pay for deposit.) The conversation moved on to all other types of Kosher related questions, the “healthiness /humaneness of Kashrus, the milk and meat issues, and the eating of pig issues. I explained how it all really comes down to Biblical passages and Rabbinic interpretation. I also mentioned that horse meat is yellow and tastes like glue, at which point one of the other coworkers suggested I change the topic to something less to do with disgusting food.

One thing I realized from the discussion is how different people view the eating of various foods. One coworker expressed disgust with eating meat, considering herself to be vegan, because of the animal cruelty. Another coworker described his hesitation about eating veal and lamb, the cuteness of the animals being consumed was a real buzz kill when it came to putting their flesh in his mouth. Others were very open with the idea about eating anything, one mentioning how good frog’s legs tasted. When one person asked me about the humaneness of Kosher food I said that it may be true that the method of slaughter is more humane when done the kosher way, but that the humaneness is not the reason for the law, it is a nice byproduct of the law, but the law would be the same even if the it weren’t the MOST humane way to slaughter an animal. The dietary restrictions are a small part of the overall Jewish philosophy of living an examined life in every aspect. Even the food that gets put in your mouth has to be examined to ensure it meets Godly standards, no matter what those Godly standards happen to be.

Later, when I walked into a Bodega in Park Slope to buy a Snapple after a long walk the store owner asked me how I knew that the Snapple was Kosher. I showed him the Kashrus symbol, and we began discussing what makes things kosher. I began my lengthily discussion, and I was having a difficult time doing so, the owner of the store didn’t speak English as well as I did and it was a little difficult getting the point across. As we were having our discussion a Muslim fellow walks in and gives me a hand explaining to the fellow from India what Kosher means, “It means Jewish people can eat the food.” I nodded my head and said, “Yep, that’s essentially it.” So simple.

The Muslim fellow decried the way society is today, too much gambling, people’s ignorance, and the prophecies in every religion about the end of days. The Jainist explained how they have many fasts, where they don’t eat, and how he was not capable of fasting because he had polio when he was younger. I just took it all in fascinatedly. Jew, Jainist, and Muslim all agreed that gambling is bad. Jew, Jainist, and Muslim all fast by restricting food intake at some time in the year. And we all agree: people are too ignorant of things that they should know about.

I drank my Snapple and went on my way, giving my fellow conversationalists a handshake each. As I walked away it hit me; that was a fun conversation. We all have more in common with each other that one would first imagine. Yet, we each have many differences too. From my coworkers with their various views on what is right and wrong to eat, to three different religion’s take on fasting, we all share in common the fact that we do very similar things. At the same time, we each have different reasons for doing what we do. It is important to focus on both, the commonalities to bring peace among people, as well as the differences to keep a sense of individuality, nationality, and purpose. It would be a mistake to ignore the differences, but it would be a bigger mistake to ignore what makes us similar.

Kiruv: Answering the hard questions

2009-07-12T23:11:00.003-04:00

If you have been out in the real world for any period of time you will undoubtedly come into contact with people who are curious about what Judaism is all about. These people may be fellow Jews in need of some guidance, they may be non-Jews who are just curious of the customs they see, or they may even be christian missionaries who corner you in an allay and demand a few moments of your time. When that time comes, what do you do? How do you answer the accusations, the questions, the queries that they throw at you- one after another?

Many people may not bother giving these people the time of day. They will ignore the people who ask them any questions regarding their faith and practice, going about there day as if nothing had happened. The people they come in contact with will be left with a bad opinion when it comes to Orthodox Jews. They will thing you-as an Orthodox Jew- are rude, and uninterested in helping them achieve any sort of understanding, and overall a person not worth knowing. Most of all though-and this may not be far from the truth-they will think you have no answers for these questions yourself.

The reason, in my opinion, why more people don't go into outreach, or choose to answer the people with honest questions is simply because many Orthodox Jews in general don't have a firm grasp of what they truly believe in. Many people are still operating on a childish understanding that they picked up in Elementary School, they never bothered to think beyond what they were told, and when questioned about these issues don't really feel comfortable expressing themselves in a thinking manner that would be comprehensible to other human beings not versed in the same Yeshiva education as they were.

The real answer when people ask you questions about Judaism, or anything for that matter, should be a thought out one. If you are serious about something enough to wear the badge of that seriousness on your clothing all the time, you should be ready to discuss what it means to you at all times. You should not be quoting something your Kindergarten teacher taught you in when you were a baby. You should not even be quoting something you just read in a Kiruv book you happened to pick up at the local Judaica Store. You should have thought out the questions you have in your own mind for yourself, come to conclusions that you are comfortable with, and be prepared to explain and defend yourself to all comers. This does not mean you should go looking for people to challenge your beliefs, it means being comfortable enough in your own Yammulka, (or long skirt), to explain why you do what you do, and what it means to you.

When asked about your hashkafa you should have a deeper answer than whether or not you watch TV, or have the Internet connected in your house. When asked about what Jews believe you should have a better answer than Chulent and Herring. When asked what kind of God do Jews believe in you should have a better answer than a children's song. While all of these answers to these questions might be valid on some level, they are answers that even the person with the most faith in them will give up with a few poignant questions.

A few days ago I saw a book called A Guide to Torah Hashkofoh, in it the author outlines all the wonderful questions that a person interested in Orthodox Judaism may have. Skimming the book, I found many of his answers unsatisfactory and lacking; however, I found the questions good building blocks in which to build real inquiry. I think it is important to think about these questions and find answers that are satisfactory, no matter where they may lead.

What do we mean by G-d?
What is the Torah?
Why is the Torah so important?
How can we prove the existence of G-d?
How do we know that G-d created the world?
Does it make a difference if we believe in G-d?
Why do/don't we believe in the Theory of Evolution?
How do we know that G-d still runs the world?
What is a Jew and what is Judaism?
Why doesn't life seem to run more perfectly more in line with Jewish beliefs?
How do we know the Torah is authentic?
Why isn't there immediate reward and punishment?
Why is there pain and suffering?
How do we know that the Torah is G-d given?
What is the Source of Jewish law?
Are the Torah laws old-fashioned?
Why are there many separate branches of Judaism?
What is the rationale behind Shabbos and Yom Tov, Kashrus, Tefillah, Tefillin, Tzitzis, Yarmulkah, and Mezuzah,....?
Are there rationales for the Mitzvos all together?
What is the role of the Jewish woman, and are why are women different than men in Jewish life?
What is wrong with assimilation?
Why do Jews reject Jesus as a Messiah, Mohammad as the one true prophet, and L Ron Hubbard as the answer to getting our thetans to a higher level?

All these questions should be thought about at one time or another, and not just laughed off as something taken for granted. If you don't think about these questions now, you may be confronted with these questions at a later time and be unready to answer them with satisfactory answers.

It is easy to believe when you know nothing at all. You can bury your head in the sand and imagine the only existance to be your own. But to still believe knowing the questions that are out there, that is something else, that is something worth striving for-if for no other reason than to be able to answer others who may have questions.

Hashem is....

2009-07-11T23:28:00.003-04:00

Uncle Moshe's Song for Little kids
Hashem is here, Hashem is there, Hashem is truly everywhere. (2X)
Up, up, Down, down, Right, Left, all around..
Here, there everywhere
that’s where he can be found. (2X)

Uncle Moshe's Song for angstful teenagers
Is Hashem here, is Hashem there, is Hashem truly anywhere?(2X)
Is He Up, up;Is He Down, down;Perhaps Right, Left; Maybe all around?
Here, there anywhere?
Where can he be found?(2X)

Uncle Moshe's Song for Readers of the Guide to the Perplexed
Hashem isn't Here, Hashem isn't There, Hashem isn't truly Anywhere. (2X)
Not Up, up;Nor Down, down;Not Right, Left; Nor all around..
Here, there everywhere
that’s where he can't be found. (2X)

The Shidduch Crisis is solved!

2009-07-10T02:22:00.004-04:00

Step 1- Convert many Non-Jewish men. (Only Men, there are enough unmarried Jewish women as it is.)

Step 2- All unmarried Jewish women who feel the weight of the crisis on their shoulders, and the stigmata of being unmarried at the ungodly age of 20, can marry the wonderfully newly committed NEW JEWS.

Step 3-Bayis Nemun BiYisroel (All the genetic anomaly that cause so many hereditary diseases due to inbreeding will eventually go away.)

Step 4- Big Rabbi in Israel retroactively annuls all the converts.

Step 5-NEW JEWS call themselves the REAL HEBREWS.

Step 6-A new crisis emerges, The Old Jews are marrying the New Jews, like those old Sfardi men marrying teenagers.